RELIVE
Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2011 11:17 pm
Eh?
What's this?
The... Gamefreak logo?
Oh no. Oh no no no.
Oh no. Not another one of these. Not another Pokemon playthrough. The forums will kill me if I bring more societal related nostalgia!
Calm down, N, maybe it isn't that bad. Maybe it's not Pokemon I'm playing but some other long-lost production by Gamefreak.
Well, crap.
Okay, maybe there's still hope. Maybe I can still fool everyone into thinking this isn't a Pokemon playthrough at all. Maybe I can convince them that it's some game that doesn't exist, some game that's easy to manipulate these images into looking like. Just go to Paint, color these floors, make Gold look like someone else, add arrows... Voila!
It's... perfect!
....Oh who am I kidding this looks horrible
Sigh. I guess I have to actually play the game. I'll probably want to check what I'm starting out with before I do anything else, though. This game isn't looking quite orthodox. As far as I can tell, I'm starting in Sprout Tower.
Whoa.
Huh. Maybe I'm a little farther in the game than Sprout Tower.
Okay, then, maybe the Pokégear will help me figure out where I am?
Apparently not. This is strange.
Items?
Nope, nada, zilch, zero.
Okay, then. I guess there's one more thing to check. If I have all eight badges, I wonder what kind of awesome Cockfighting Society I'll have. Tyranitars? A Lugia, perhaps?
You're kidding me, right.
Of all the freaking things, five Unown and a recently-hatched Cyndaquil. Really.
I can tell this isn't going to be a pleasant experience.
Ah well, might as well check their stats if I'm going to have them. There's really no point to of it, of course, but.
An L Unown. I'm not going to bother looking at its moves, of course, seeing as it can only learn one.
An... E?
There's the ever-familiar A.
Is that... a Y? A V? A triangle? I'm just going to guess it's a V.
And finally, another E.
Wait a minute. L, E, A, V, E...
That spells Elaev!
No, wait, according to my spellcheck, that isn't a real word. And apparently "spellcheck" isn't either. Well, there has to be one stupid meaning to that combination of Unown.
Maybe I could use some anagram decoder to make sense of it... Oh, look, here's one! And Google saves my life once again.
Andy, you're my only hope.
Luckily, there's only one "real" word that can be made from the letters of "Elaev".
Maybe there's some significance to this word. Maybe it's telling me something about the game, that it is not to be played. Maybe it is telling me to leave... Maybe I should leave...
Nah.
Enough with metaphors. Here's our dear Cyndaquil, HURRY.
HURRY. Really. What kind of a name is that. I cannot derive any significance from that name at all. bodaciously none. I'm not even being in character here, it just makes no logical sense to me.
...And of course, our only "alright" critter has no offensive moves to speak of at all.
What kind of arselock would remove the offensive moves from a Cockfighting Society and replace it with goddamn Flash.
This is just getting cruel.
I suppose it's time to check our Pokédex. OH WAIT, WE DON'T HAVE ONE.
Exit menu.
Now, onto more pressing matters...
Where the Giratina am I supposed to go?
Every corner is sealed. ALL OF THEM.
This seems to be the only defining structure in this room. I don't suppose I could enter through it, though... I mean, that would be just plain ridiculo-
What.
On second thought, maybe it's a good thing I have Flash.
Show your skills, Meaningless Name.
Blood red.
Oh lord.
Oh lord.
Oh child.
This is going to be a long day, isn't it?