AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Contents

Episode 1: Oh balls
Episode 2: Dammit, why do you insist on disagreeing with me?
Episode 3: Those are not geckos

Ahh that was a wonderful sleep. I feel so refreshed and cheerful and- AJISHIJSJIJKJJD WHAT IS THIS I appear to be tied up. I'm sure it's an innocent misunderstanding I'll just raise my head and-



Oh howdy. You look...vaguely intimidating. I was wondering if you could help me untie these ropes?



HAHAHAHA!
Oh I'm sorry your face. You seem to only have a top row of teeth. That is quite hilari-



Oh balls.



NO NO! I'M SORRY YOU HAVE A REALLY LOVELY FACE IT'S VERY NICE AND LOVELY AND NICE PLEASE DON'T KILL-



...me. Oh well I don't look my best. But considering I was just shot in the head I would expect some mark. Perhaps a little permanent scarring or sort of indenture or mark. BUT NOPE MY HEAD IS PERFECT aside from it's horrifying ugliness. Splendid.

So some Doctor or something leads me over to a machine while somehow has the power to influence my entire skill set. Cool.



There is always a hint of awkwardness when you're so close to being naked with another fully clothed man. A hint.



So he asks me a bunch of useless questions which I answer to the utmost of my abilities. I Cecil Pippin am always honest whereupon he tells me I'm obviously a horrible person. Thanks Doc. I feel better already.



I look kind of awesome here. Also AJSIJDIJJUWEJIDJWI you are incompetent. The point of a medical history form is to make sure your treatment doesn't harm the patient but judging by the fact I am not dead I WOULD SAY THAT STAGE OF THE HEALING PROCESS WAS OVER MONTHS AGO. Jesus. I hate you Doc.



Oh wait no. It's one of those magical medical history forms. That's ok then.



On the other hand he's still incompetent. I steal a pencil to teach him a lesson.



GIFTS! I wonder what it'll be! An awesome weapon? Unbreakable armour? A heavily fortified companion? A house? A massive skill boost? Anything as long as it's not a-



FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
Hello clunky interface. It's nice to meetcha again.



The Doc offers some more earth-shattering advice. One day I will be back to rob your home and kill you. One day soon.



OH MY GOODNESS THAT IS VERY BRIGHT VERY BRIGHT INDEED MY EYES HURT VERY MUCH PLEASE TURN OFF THE SUN



Better. Well this looks nice. A little run down possibly but very nice indeed. I'm sure there's somewhere I can kip and certainly there'll never be any reason to leave this town. After all nothing bad can get me her-



ARHJFKJJKFKLJ! Robot robot robot! Or indeed cowboy robot. Cowboy robot that might or might not be hitting on me. I think I'll run away for now I'm sure it has no necessary information. Hey a general store that place looks useful.



I and the general store owner have a slight disagreement.



It does not go well for the general store owner. It goes well for me. I say those clothes looks pretty sweet...



Heh heh heh. I don't know how I feel about having just stripped a man naked but it's only a very minimal amount of shame.



Anyway I go and see into the Saloon and am immediately accosted by this woman. Her voice is extremely annoying. She also may or may not be hitting on me. I follow her out back.



Make that a not. She's given me a gun but using it on bottles seems wasteful. I think I'll-



Heh heh heh. Well that worked very well. I guess we can advance our quest now eh Sunny?

...uh Sunny?



Oh very well. Take that bottles laying on the ground from a very short range!



She offers me a job. I accept because I have bugger all else to do. However before I do that I just have to do one thing...



Oh my. That is a badass picture. I think I'm gonna stay here a while longer and admire it. Heh. Almost makes up for my hideous face.

So, I finally go running after Sunny. This looks like it will be a pleasent, entirely non-dangerous trip. After all, look at that fearsome dog!



I and the fearsome dog have a small disagreement. Sunny doesn't seem to give a shit.



I hang back while she kills all the....uh....geckos. Geckos? Are they really? They are HUGE.



She really doesn't care about me slaughtering her dog. Ah well. Good...I guess. We go hunting again.



DON'T ENCOURAGE THEM YOU STUPID WOMAN SHUTUPSHUTUP THEY'RE RUNNING AT ME



I finally find a situation I can prove my heroic skills in. Let's just take out those geckos and...



Oh arse. A couple of my bullets went wild. Ah well. It probably doesn't- SUNNY WHAT ARE YOU DOING?



I resolve her small disagreement with me. She may not have given a shit for her dog, but she sure as hell loved that unknown, unnamed villager



Hmm.



Waste not, want not. I strip her. I find this much more agreeable than stripping the general store owner.



Rolling back into town, I spy the saloon. That looks gossip-y.



Balls. Why do I always wander into fights? He soon leaves however.



Just to put this in perspective a little, I just accidently shot milimetres above her head. She is one badass lady.




All of a sudden, SUPRISE! I put all my points into speech. Combat doesn't really seem very important...




I fix a radio. Gee, life in this -wasteland- sure is serene. In fact, I haven't really had to do much troublesome at all.



I suddenly notice something very odd. I appear to be vilified. But everyone's being so friendly...
I guess they're just pop flyin' to have a visitor. How sad.



I and a young bighorner have a small disagreement. It tries to escape. IT WILL NOT ESCAPE!



It does not escape, and I walk out of town. Doesn't seem to be much going on here. On the way I see this. A Keep Out sign facing towards the town. The way that no one except people coming away from the town would be able to read it. You're all stupid, I am never coming back here except to kill the incompetant Doc.



AHJHSHJDKJDSJKJDKDWK WHAT ARE THEY THEY LOOK TOUGH AND THERE ARE MANY OF THEM



Two minutes later. This was not a small disagreement. This was not a smal disagreement at all. Gee, maybe I will have to fight things occasionally. Shit. Hadn't expected that.

...I better think about this for awhile.

http://www.awkwardzombie.com/forum/view ... f=4&t=4079

A second New Vegas LP?

Oh fuck. I did not see that.

...should I stop?

Nah, it doesn't really matter.

Xabyrn wrote:Nah, it doesn't really matter.

Alright, good good. Just hope people like it now

Ame no Akai wrote:Honestly? You're jumping around too much. There's potential, but try to stick to a line here, be that the main quest or whatever you can come up with, but this is a little... erratic.

How'd ya mean?

Also - so it kinda has potential then?

I thought it was funny. Nice muttonchops dude.

Live Grenade wrote:I thought it was funny. Nice muttonchops dude.

Why thank you kindly sir. New post soon.

I know. Muttonchops rule the world.

Nice LP, good to see a new Fallout LP after the last New Vegas one died and Zink is at a questionable schedule with his.
I'd try slowing down a bit, or taking more screenshots.

I adjust my path a little, and set out towards a big towny thing I can see in the distance. Apparently it's called Primm. It looks extremely safe and no doubt entirely not filled with muderous outlaws. Heh. Think of the irony if it is.



All of a sudden- AjKSJLAKSDJKSKJDLAKJD get out of my head, pop-up screen! There is no better choices than the ones I've made. I challenge you to have the courage to have 0 strength and 0 endurance. Eh? Yeah. Didn't think so.

...so I guess I'm talking to myself out here now. That is not a good sign.



That is an even worse sign.



OHMIGOD THEY'RE FALLING AT ME



DIE FALLING BEASTS WHICH TOTALLY DO NOT LOOK LIKE GECKOS, DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE



Where are you all even coming from and why does this one have a pedo-stalkerish look on its face?
After I kill it I shoot a blowfly, and have a look around. Suddenly, I notice-



Euuuuugh WHAT EVEN IS THAT I DO NOT KNOW I HAVE NEVER SEEN BLOWFLY MEAT BEFORE EVER YOU MIGHT AS WELL EAT PIG MEAT HEH THAT IS RIDICULOUS



A remaining gecko tries to flee. I have a disagreement with that.



It stops running, and starts dying, like any decent..."gecko."
Well I guess that's the end of-



OHMYHOLYMOTHEROFSHITITISFUCKINGFLYING



After that, there are two more running at me. I can't even be bothered to scream at this point. You can all go to hell. I take no joy in it as I slaughter you all while manically laughing. No joy.



Finally after that detour - a detour in which I killed about 15+ of those beasts! - I see a sign for Primm. Good. Even more helpful, just beyond the sign I can actually see Primm. Even better.



Called it. Well, I'll just be strolling inside and finding some nice te-



...ok, do not anger Cecil Pippin. I didn't kill a fucking flying gecko just to be talked at by you like that. Oh, you don't like that huh? Cmon then, have at thee!



There is a small disagreement.



Disagreement neutralised.



Disagreement de-clothed.
Well, that's lovely. Hopefully I can finally head into Primm without any more interupt-



Oh my Jesus. Stop, just stop. Victor, why are you even here? Fuck off. Please, fuck off. Why do you keep TALKING TO ME EVERYWHERE I GO STOP THAT IS IS MOST IRRITATING.
I run away from Victor into the town. There are LOTS AND LOTS of red dots, but no one seems to be on the streets, and no one attacks me.
I walk up the street.
I hear gunfire.
I run up the street.
I quickly go into a casino-y place. It's a well known fact only honest people with good intentions go into casinos - they're practically a repellent for criminals.



Wow I- I can't believe that logic actually worked. But, gone to hell? Balls. I was counting on retiring here.
I guess I'll ask a bit about those men that shot me. No harm.





Is Deputy Beagle by any chance imprisoned by about a thousand outlaws in an abandoned building and I have to rescue him? HE IS?
THUNDERCUNTS!



Well I guess I'll do that. But first, I have to work on my emo photoshoot. daisies. That's emo. Except I'm ginger.

No emo is manly enough for muttonchops. Not one.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who ever had to face a legion of Geckos.
You're going to have a tough run if you keep getting into these "disagreements" though. Even if the cool free clothes are ever so tempting.

Live Grenade wrote:You're going to have a tough run if you keep getting into these "disagreements" though. Even if the cool free clothes are ever so tempting.

But they started it, they started it!

Bullets don't solve everything.
...Well mabye they do, but they lead down a very friendless path.