When we last left our hero he drove away, and thats about it
Look at all those adoring fans trying to get in
PEOPLE, YOUR GOD IS HEROHMYGOD
Holy shit, these aren't my fans, they're pasty white skinned blood ravenous nature isn't natural for humans!
Must be a Twilight convention nearby
"Yeah man, cuts me deep, she left this little sod of a daughter with me"
Ohhhhh ice cold burn
Look at this fucker, he's loving it
"I am going to kill you dead in so many ways after this is over"
"I heard a guy who covered wars was in the former..."
The platform rises...
Kids say the darndest things?!
oh i guess that'll do
INCOMING GIANT HAM
Meet the Terror Is Reality host, TYRONE KIIIIIING
But you can call him TK, baby
Cont: "Are you ready for some PAAAAAAAYBAAAAAACK?"
AND I, THE BLACK, MOTHERFUCKIN BARON (stop staring) WILL GUIDE YOU THROUGH THIS
TK: "with my penis"
YEEEEEEEAHHHHH
Chuck: "I am going to destroy the competition, by bodaciously destroying them"
"Just add my custom coloured limited edition Protoman helmet and...."
"my body is ready"
HEAVEN OR HELL
LETS ROCK
Welcome to Slicycles, this is the first and last time we're playing it
the goal is to cut as many zombies in half as possible, and the ones with PANK balloons on their heads explode and give extra points, so they're a nice target
LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR
LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR
LET THE BODIES HIT THEEEEEEE
FLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR
"Oh man i am tearing shit up, I'm definately gonna get-"
"-second place?! oh man that sucks, I am going to kill the victor so much, in ADDITION to the green jackass
oh wait its the same person
that saves time"
those are the best co-hostesses in the history of forever
he doesn't
Chuck: "Don't you piss me off too, this kill list is getting kinda big"
Chuck only gets the average cheddar
GIGANTIC HAM MAN OUT
Later, in the locker room
"Fuck yeah, gonna get rustled tonight"
"Might as well watch the news"
"Hey! I'm in Fortune City too, wonder if I'll see these guys"
"Ah I'm not interested, I hate zombies, if it was my choice I'd kill every zombie ever, along with my kill list"
"But yeah, can't wait to spend all my cheddar and finish this sentence uninterrupte-"
"Who the hell are you?"
"I heard some guy who should be in the third installment of some fighting game was in Willamette too, maybe they met there, you know, before zombies killed them"
"This naked guy might know where Katey is"
"Alright thanks...
And for god's sake put some pants on"
Oh cool I can move now
As I run down the hallway I see a bathroom, no use denying Chuck nature's call"
Chuck promises he'll be quick
and Kale what are you doing in this shot get out of there you're not even in this game
you aren't even Chuck Greene
All done, he even washed his hands
"Who's that I spy down there?"
"Hey! Thats my line!"
I am the biggest man
Ice cold burn
Alright we get it small penis geez
"I would kill you but I don't really kill women, unless they're women zombies of course, so I'll just mess up your room or something"
"Its like you want me to kill you"
"Well screw you anyway, I'm getting the lift"
"Man that woman's a bitch"
"Still smoking hot though
Oh hey the lift is here"
"WELL WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE?"
"I know, I should kill more zombies"
"What is it with you two and penis jokes?"
Awesome
"Man this lift ride is so boring, isn't this usually the part in the story where things go downhi-"
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
(this is to compensate for me not being able to get a shot of that bit)
Dudes out cold
"Man that god daisies hurt
I'm adding whoever caused this to my list"
"Gotta get out of here
when I'm in a confined space too long i end up killing the air"
"Whys everyone running?
I wasn't gonna kill
everyone, just a few people"
"Hey buddy you seem cool enough, whats going on?"
"Uhhhhhhh...you okay?"
"Oohhhhhh shit"
"He's a zombie
wait this means i can kill it
right now"
"Gotta get the hell outta this lift"
"And kill the shit out of him"
For some reason some guy just straight up dives infront of that zombie
"You got lucky this time zombie"
WHOO, ACTUAL GAMEPLAY AND ACTION
I grab the nearest weapon I can find which happens to be a fireaxe
"I'M GONNA CHOP YOUR HEAD OFF!"
I do just that as I desperately try to save this woman, she might have more weapons
DON'T WORRY I WON'T STOP UNTIL YOU'RE SA-oh shit is that a guitar in the background?
Sweet it fucking is, I'm sure that woman can survive while i take it
I NOW HAVE THE POWER OF ROCK BEHIND ME
Turns out that wasn't enough to save Alice
woops
I WILL AVENGE YOU
actually I need to get to the Green Room
"All these people I've never met are dying and I KNOW THEIR NAMES"
"FUCK GET OFF THERE THOSE ARE NOT TASTY CHICKEN NUGGETS OR SOMETHING FFFFFFFFFGETOFFFFFFF"
"SIT THE FUCK DOWN"
I'm going in before shit goes downhill more
"Oh shit could it be?"
"Could I be free of that little tool stealing sod?"
"I want to kill her too"
"Commander Shepard..."
"How the mighty hath fallen"
"Shit she's still gonna be alive and in that cupboard isn't she?"
"Bitch what did I tell you about touching my clotheshanger"
"Or else I will punch the scared out of you"
"Man I gotta do everything don't I, even gotta carry your heavy booty"
"This is gonna suck..."
"God daisies you're heavy"
So anyway when you are carrying Katey you are basically untouchable, so you can run through that shit
God daisies that's a lot of people, I wonder how many will die...
Well that guy does
Heading outside now
Chuck I can't see get out of the camera shot
Thats better
Guy: "Come on run, you only have a
little bit of zombie on you"
Guy: "God fine I'll just leave you and say you facebattled me or something I don't know"
"What a douche"
"ALRIGHT THANKS EMINEM"
"Thanks for pointing out that giant obvious god daisies sign there kiddo"
"By we I mean you"
"GOD FINALLY I CAN PUT YOU DOWN
Gonna need a breather after carrying your fat booty"
"For me that is"
Worrying about texts and Facebook at a time like this eh?
YOUNG PEOPLE
"Oh cool the doors opening"
"WELL WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE?"
Meet Sullivan, an agent who overlooks the saferoom
Sullivan: "Thats it move along theres nothing to see here"
Sullivan: "You too Eminem"
Fun fact, this line is in the description of my Natascha in TF2
"That wasn't me, trust me"
Zombies are an existing condition
I mean look out a window
"Don't worry, I have the MacGuffin"
"Three Days?!"
"God daisies it I bet there isn't even an Xbox in here"
Sullivan: "Basically I'm saying get the hell out of here"
Wait I recognize that booty
Sullivan: "
Awesome"
"daisies I'm out of plot device"
"I wasn't"
Turns out that booty was the CURE lady Stacey
"You'd be going on the list if you did say anything"
"You THINK? Thats not good enough"
Stacey now has the nickname "The Walking Midriff"
"This is a piece of shit
it doesn't even have Snake on it"
"Why are you squinting at me like that, stop it"
"Yeah I don't give a shit"
"Kill them?"
"To kill them"
"Look at her with her PSP, she doesn't give a shit I carried her booty out of here"
"Hello whats this?"
"I can write my kill list on this, She won't mind if I borrow this"
Dear god I can control him again, oh my god that was forever
Quick trip to the bathroom
And then we can kick this thing into maximum overdrive
HOLY SHIT THAT WAS TOO LONG
nearly 200 screenshots
fuck man
I need to make these shorter
my English coursework is shorter than this
NEXT EPISODE:
PHARMACIES
NO GOODNIKS
ORANGE JUICE
AND MUCH MORE
