AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Head of The Brothel wrote:are you trying to imply that an easter egg that most people never knew about and is completely optional anyway somehow detracts from the fight

Kamak wrote:And where the hell did I say that? I was rebutting your statement that it was a glitch.

Kamak wrote:Which I didn't think was all that awesome, to be honest. It had a little bit of everything, but it just wasn't as great and atmospheric as previous end fights.

Kamak wrote:farting noises

Crawfish wrote: OPINION ZONE AHEAD.

TP was a terrible Zelda game, but it was still a good game. I'd rather play the worst Zelda game than the best Halo any day of the week. The game's art style was incredible and it really got the cinematics down; like sometimes I forgot that I was playing a Zelda game because there were certain things you never got to experience in classics like Ocarina of Time.

But okay, what made Twilight Princess bad was just...everything else.

The plot made little sense when you got right down to it. Let's think of the very first hour or so of the game; Link has a great standing in this village, he works as a rancher and...has no parents. What's his backstory? How did he live here, where did he come from? He's obviously been an outsider at some point yet this is never addressed. Okay so he has the Triforce birthmark on his hand. That's great and all but it doesn't answer ANYTHING. So then the village children get kidnapped by some boar riders. Okay. WHY? Why are these monsters invading? Why can they summon Twilight? What is the motivation here?

We never learn about this throughout the entire game. We're maybe lead to think that Ilia is important, but...she really isn't. She's essentially a more-developed (and weird-looking) Malon, in that her only real story significance is that she tells you the name of your horse.

I liked just about every aspect of the game up until about the climax (Link obtains the Master Sword). I thought the throwbacks to our Hyrule from OoT were nice, albeit they overdid it sometimes. I liked the region's layout, and I liked the provinces. I remember my jaw dropping when I realized that the patch of field that you ran into once outside of Faron's Woods wasn't even CLOSE to being the entire overworld. The dungeons were okay, but I didn't feel challenged until the Lakebed Temple. Even then, they were all very tedious and required copious amounts of backtracking, while not having very interesting items or puzzles. The music sucked too. If you're going to trap me in an underground labyrinth for two hours, at least make me interested to be there.

I liked the Twilight, and I liked searching for all of the insects, which I was surprised to find that most people hated. I liked the wolf transformation because it brought something unique and new to an otherwise complete re-hash of a game that I had already played. I even grew fond of Midna, but I found her story arc throughout the game predictable at every point. Was anyone surprised to learn that she was the Twilight Princess? Or that her little imp mode wasn't her "true form"? The Fused Shadows were really boring as quest items, but I guess they get points for being "mysterious." Really, the narrative during the first half of the game was really cool and very spot-on.

However, the second Link pulls the Master Sword is where everything just went downhill for me. As soon as the wolf transformation became an optional form is when I loathed it. You were downgraded in power and just felt like some moron running around in the dungeons. If Wolf Link had received some periodic upgrades, I think I would have liked it more. Give him better swimming abilities or let him run on walls for brief moments or SOMETHING. Sniffing out fucking ghosts is not going to keep my attention.

The story also lost focus. I don't really BLAME Nintendo for pulling Ganondorf back into the spotlight, but it just didn't feel as interesting. he got that cool execution cutscene but that was about it. You couldn't take Zant seriously anymore because you knew that ultimately he wasn't the driving antagonism behind your quest, and was just some goon with a creepy helmet. They also didn't delve into the possible evilness of the Fused Shadows and Twili, but I'm not here to write out story suggestions. I just felt little motivation once that sword was pulled out of the Sacred Grove's pedestal. The Mirror Shards were also kind of lame and didn't really make sense in terms of the dungeons. Why did Armoghoma and Argorok have them? At least we get a story that Yeta found it and then it turned her evil or whatever.

Arbiter's Grounds was boring and despite being the designated "creepy" level, was not creepy at all. The Spinner was awesome but you used it for about 10 minutes.

Snowpeak Ruins was actually fairly original in terms of dungeon design and puzzles, but when the only time I had to stop and THINK about something in a Zelda game was when I was doing a daisies block-pushing puzzle, something is seriously wrong.

Temple of Time was stupid. It only had music and nostalgia factor going for it. The Dominion Rod was a useless piece of shit.

City in the Sky was just....stupid. The Oocca were gross and creeped me out, the dungeon didn't have a logical layout and there were no puzzles. The boss battle was also just completely fucking stupid, I don't know why people say it's "epic." You just circle a dragon too slow to breathe fire or charge at you.

Palace of Twilight was pretty cool actually! I got seriously stumped looking for that Boss Key!

Everything about the game is easy. The bosses are easy, if you lost more than a heart (if any health at all) on any of them, then you are probably just stupid. All of the enemies were easy too, and had pretty terrible AI. People credit the Darknuts for giving a challenge and I guess I can agree there. The only challenge comes from waiting to press the A button, but they really made you feel like you were doing something cool so that was nice.

The final battle with Ganondorf was laughably easy and his entire presence was pathetic. Beast Ganon was a unique fight I guess but it didn't challenge me. The horseback segment seemed forced and then the actual final DUEL with ganondorf was just...The atmosphere killed it for me. You're just fighting in some random-booty zone of Hyrule Field, who gives a fuck? What's Link's motivation? Oh yeah I guess he just killed Midna but we all knew that wasn't going to stick. Why didn't the Light Spirits just nuke Ganondorf with BRIGHT ORBS OF LIGHT while he was engaged in his fancy cage match with Link? All he did was swing around his sword, there was bodaciously no challenge or eloquence to the fight. You strafed and mashed buttons.

Well...that's all. Again, some people LOVE Twilight Princess, and I guess that's okay. It was probably their first Zelda game or they haven't played enough. Or they judged the game simply on cinematics and graphics, whatever. I think the game's main fault is that it was overhyped. Nintendo made this whole big deal that this would be the ZELDA TO END ALL ZELDAS. Are we forgetting it was delayed for more than a year? It sold Wiis, that's about all it really accomplished. Awesome financial strategy, but...if you make me wait THAT long for just a mediocre game, then I guess....

Well, idk really. Good job. Hopefully Skyward Sword doesn't pull the same shit, it looks awesome so far.

Head of The Brothel wrote:

Kamak wrote:farting noises

I'm going to copy and paste that line for a second time but this time it is colour coded for convenience

red = not an important word, blue = important word

are you trying to imply that an easter egg that most people never knew about and is completely optional anyway somehow detracts from the fight

Kamak wrote:When has an Easter egg ever detracted from anything in a game?