Posted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 10:54 pm
How about that Paragon?
SHENANIGAN TIME
That's right, folks, it is time for another grand episode of ME WRITING ABOUT SHIT I DID IN WARCRAFT
BUT WITH ODDS THIS TIME
AND SCREENSHOTS
THESE ARE BOTH VERY IMPORTANT THINGS
Anyway, you may notice that I am level 62. I am actually level 65 now, since I've put off writing this for a while.
I am lazy okay.
Now, I will try to write this in a way similar to last time. As in, I will try to keep it so you ONLY have to read the writing to understand what is going on. The screenshots will just be there because WHY NOT.
And now, with the introduction over, LET THE GAMES BEGIN
SO THERE WE WE WERE, riding through the forest of Ashenvale, on our way to DARKSHORE! It is there that we would storm the the port town of... something... hi-jack a ship, and fight our way through those two little stupid Draenei isles.
It would be a long, perilous journey, filled to the brim with slaughtering unarmed Alliance citizens, me hiding behind Odds when the guards come and cowering like a little girl, and me dying a bunch of times!
We soon make it to the port town. We immediately start murdering everyone in sight. We leave no survivors. They are Alliance, we are Horde, so they are the enemy.
I would mention something, at this point, about how this means killing A LOT of women, which is not a very gentlemanly thing to do, but I did that last time. I wouldn't want to make this thing redundant.
We fought our way to the docks. Odds, being level 80, destroyed everything in her path. I was barely able to so much as hit something once before it was already dead at her feet.
It was really irritating because I very much enjoy shooting things. I had a lot of trouble doing so when everything within a 30 mile radius of her was already nothing more than a corpse.
Soon, we arrived at the dock. We had just barely missed the boat. We cursed, but there was nothing more we could do but wait.
And wait we did. We waited a long time. The boat seemed to be taking forever. Mostly because it was.
However, Odds soon slipped and fell. This didn't seem like a huge problem, at first. We laughed it off, and she began to swim back to shore so she could get back to the docks.
But then, the unthinkable happened.
The boat had pulled in.
This was a problem. The dock was long, and the swim back was even longer. Odds had almost no chance of making it back in time.
There was some panicking. There were many words typed in all-caps. However, all that was for naught. The boat pulled away, and we found ourselves on the dock, waiting, the same position as before.
After yet another FOREVER, the boat returned. We made our way on to it. Despite the fact that the guards on the boat are not aggressive, Odds insisted on slaughtering them all. I would have joined her, were it not for the fact that I was very outmatched by them. Instead, I simply stood at the end of the boat, very still, and hoped no one noticed.
Soon, the boat arrived at Azuremyst Isle, the Draenei starting area. I stepped off the boat and immediately fell off the dock into the water. It wasn't a large problem, as the shore was very close. Well, it wasn't a huge problem at first, I should say. It was one, however, that would come back later to bite me in the booty.
Now that we were in Azuremyst, however, we found ourselves at a loss as to what to do. Odds mentioned something about the Draenei capital. We soon stumbled across the entrance to said city. We started walking in, two lone horde members heading straight into enemy territory. I told her that this was probably stupid. She agreed. We continued anyway.
The guards of the city had a problem with our arrival, which was quite rude of them. I mean, what did we ever do to them? We just wanted to sight-see.
Although I was far too low-leveled to take on any of these guards, Odds was not. She began taking each and every one of them down.
It was quite a sight to behold.
The Draenei capital wasn't so much a city as it was a big, open, cavern-type place. There weren't any buildings so much as there were rooms, mere pieces of a much larger complex.
It was all very pretty.
Also, I died.
Many times.
Unlike Odds, I was killed easily by the angry and hostile guards.
They killed me repeatedly. Over and over again. I would go through all the trouble of resurrecting only for them to hit me with their swords until dead all over again. I kind of resent them for that.
Anyway, during the times I wasn't dying, we explored the city. Odds killed the guards, I killed the innocent civilians, and all in all it was a pretty fun time. However, there was far more to do in these isles than just explore a city of death. We soon fled the city, being chased by a legion of guards. I threatened to sic Odds on them, but they did not listen. We managed to escape anyway, though. Jerks.
Despite the fact I was not finished exploring the Azuremyst Isle, we decided to go to the other isle, the Bloodmyst Isle.
The Bloodmyst Isle initially appeared to be a gray, dead area. However, it was not soon before we came across a red river dividing the land. Everything beyond that area was red, corrupted, and surprisingly awesome looking.
We then set out to explore. We came across a few Draenei towns, which we slaughtered all the residents of. The guards of those town were no match for even me, so it was pretty much just like mowing the lawn.
In one encampment, however, there was a man. He appeared to be a normal Draenei citizen, other than that he was of "elite" status. Since he was so low-leveled, I was still able to easily take him down despite this.
And take him down I did. However, something was amiss. For, standing above his corpse, was him.
Well, this was odd, I thought to myself, but nothing a few arrows can't solve, and so once again he fell. Now there were two of his corpses on the ground. And, as before, it was only a moment before yet another him was there.
It appears as though this man would reappear no matter how many times I shot him dead. Clearly, there was only one thing to do in a situation like this...
...paint the ground with his corpses.
And so, I repeatedly murdered this reappearing man, and soon every part of the ground within a 20 foot radius was littered with his own dead bodies.
It was hilarious.
Anyway, there was some more exploration, some more murdering, and some more shenanigans that don't matter. Soon, I had completely explored Bloodmyst and we returned to Azuremyst. While exploring and mercilessly slaughtering some low-leveled furblogs, we happened across a Dwarven Paladin. I politely waved to him. He waved back at me.
With his hammer.
And so I was dead. Odds immediately engaged the dwarf in combat. They battled. I ended up missing most of the fight, as I had to release spirit and return to my corpse.
However, as we started to move away, he resurrected. We returned yet again to teach him a lesson. In retrospect, killing him once was probably lesson enough, but SHUT UP WE FOUGHT HIM ANYWAY
It was not long before he was dead.
The thing was, he wasn't alone. There was a human mage with him. At least, I think it was a mage. It might have been a warlock or priest or something. I don't really remember.
It was not long before I was dead.
I resurrected just as Odds was about to finish her off. However, it turns out that she was an engineer, as she quickly used her rocket boots to escape. Coward.
Pretty much everything after that was business as usual. Exploring, raiding Draenei cities, killing any Alliance character we come across, Etc. Soon, I had explored every part of Azuremyst (and the entire continent of Kalimdor) except for one tiny spot near the boat out of here.
I ran around in circles trying to find the spot that would mark it on my map. Yet, I was unable to. I spent at least 10 minutes just walking around in circles, over and over again, trying to get the daisies spot to appear. Soon, the boat pulled in. I figured I had to hurry this up. I eventually gave up. I stepped on the dock.
The dock that I had fallen off of in the beginning was the spot I needed to step on
I AM NOT SURE IF THAT IS IRONY OR NOT BUT IT KIND OF SEEMS LIKE IT TOO ME.
However, we still had to wait for the boat. As we did, I mentioned something to Odds about the Blood Elf capital. She then offered to make a portal there, which is an offer that I accepted.
I stepped through the portal and found myself out of enemy territory and into the more friendly sort.
And so ended my day of shenanigans with Odds!
IT WAS A GOOD DAY, INDEED!
