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Posted: Mon Apr 19, 2010 12:41 pm
by Zink
BurntToShreds wrote:I must've missed an update or two. Why exactly are there clones of Charlie Manhuge in Bruma?
...See last page.

You missed the big 100th update, yo.


@Master War: Lolwut?

That screenshot appears to be from forever ago.

I'm... not exactly sure what you are talking about.

Edit: Whoops this was a page get I guess it's now the page before last page.

...Just go to the table of contents and click the 100th one.

Posted: Mon Apr 19, 2010 12:47 pm
by Fooflyer
do not question him.
the master knows all

Posted: Mon Apr 19, 2010 2:13 pm
by Zink
By the way guys I think it is important for me to mention that I am suddenly enjoying writing these updates again.

I guess that means you can expect a lot of updates over the week.

Goodie goodie for you.

Posted: Mon Apr 19, 2010 3:31 pm
by Zink
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Well, now that I have that taken care of, I guess I should join the Fighter's Guild.

What fun.

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Hooooooooly shit.

I did not know that bounties could go that high.

Armand is really going to have his hands full with this one...

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I arrive in the Imperial City and- WHOOPS looks like that bounty is going to get even higher.

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The guard and I fight for a little bit, and then suddenly this guy shows up and starts trying to fight the guard with his bare hands. What an idiot.

...I mean, yeah, I fight guards with my bare hands, but unlike him, I'm good at it.

He attempts to run away once the guard kicks his booty a little bit, but I chase him down and finish him off. Idiots don't deserve to live.

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WHOOPS looks like he was actually a member of the Thieve's Guild. I'm going to have to pay cheddar to get back in.

Oh well, I already have a bounty of around 62,000. It's not like another 1,000 gold added on top of that makes much of a difference.

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Unfortunately, the guard isn't quite done trying to kill me. Neither are my underlings, actually.

...Why do my sidekicks always try to kill me whenever a guard attacks?

Anyway, the guard is soon killed, the Punch Misers soon yield, blah blah blah you know the drill.

I enter the Thieve's Guild and attempt to wait for Armand...

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...Only to get this message.

...huh...

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A guard soon bursts into the guild and attempts to arrest me.

You'd think he'd want to go back and report that he, you know, found the daisies Thieve's Guild first.

There is a fight and he dies. No you don't need to see it.

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A few hours later, Armand shows up.

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31945 gold!?

THAT IS A VERY LARGE FINE

VERY LARGE INDEED

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Urgh... I can afford to pay it, but I'm nowhere near as rich as I used to be... Didn't I used to have, like, 90,000 gold?

Those were the days...

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I head to Cheydinhal and-


Wait what what are those guards doing to Velwyn?

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Everyone is trying to kill Velwyn.

Why is everyone trying to kill Velwyn?

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Now they are trying to kill Jerome.

Why?

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After Velwyn and Jerome have both been beaten unconscious, the guards put away their weapons and walk away.

...That was really weird.

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I see that they got rid of the bodies already.

Well, time's a wasting, I'd better join.

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What

I have no bounty

I should be able to join

What is this

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It turns out that he doesn't want me to join because of my ridiculous infamy.

Not because I murdered almost every single member of the guild or anything. No, that would make sense.

Anyway, in order to join when I have an Infamy of over 100, I must also have a Fame of over 100. I don't have time for that, so I'm just going to cheat and use a console code to raise my Fame to 101, join, and then put it back to 58.

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He is very pop flyin' to accept my application.

Even though I killed all his friends.

What a weirdo.

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Well, I already murdered every single member of the guild and you're still okay with me joining. I don't really see how I could do anything worse than that.

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Simple enough.

I'M OFF

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The entrance to the mine was guarded by several goblins.

I don't like where this is going...

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Huh? Who are those guys over there? daisies it, they must be bandits! They're probably in league with those goblins!

I charge forward and attack those filthy bandits!

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Die you pathetic bandits!

Die I say!

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Die you filthy swi-

...Wait a minute...

That man back there... with the bow...

...Could it be?

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It is! I can't believe it! Nameless is alive! NAMELESS IS ALIVE!

And Guilbert is trying to kill him!

Well, I'm certainly not going to let that happen!

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I proceed to beat each of the Punch Misers unconscious.

That's what they get for trying to kill Nameless!

...Again...

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It really is you, Nameless!

...Sorry for leaving your body in the middle of that haunted fort under a deadly dart trap, by the way.

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We really taught those bandits a thing or two, eh? Let's see what they have on them...

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A mine key? Why would bandits have-

...Ohhhhh... They were never bandits after all, were they?

...I think I may have accidentally murdered the guild members I was supposed to give weapons too. It would definitely explain why there were all unarmed.

WHOOPS.

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Out of curiosity, I venture deeper into the mine using the key.

I find a large amount of non-aggressive goblins. Which is odd, considering that they are called "savage" goblins. That's quite a misnomer.

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I beat them to death anyway, though.

Suddenly, a hear a cry from several Punch Misers. "Murder!" they cry! At first I thought they were talking about my slaughter of the goblins. But then I walk over and I see something. I see something much much worse.

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NOOOOO NAMELESS

NOT AGAAAAAAAIIIIIN

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You! It was you, wasn't it, Martin? Don't turn your head! Look at me! We are supposed to be a team, yet all you guys seem to want to do recently is kill each other! And know you've finally done it! You've killed one of your own teammates!

I AM ASHAMED

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I take out my rage on some more harmless goblins.

I really need something to punch.

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After I finish mercilessly slaughtering the innocent goblins, Queston tells me I should report back to the Fighter's Guild.

Which is weird, considering that my mission was to deliver weapons, not murder the people I was supposed to give weapons to and then beat up some goblins.

Oh well I am okay with this anyway.

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...That's it?

I kill the fellow guild members I was supposed to be delivering weapons to, and all I get is a "don't do it again"? And you still pay me?

At this point I'm starting to think that this guild is just way too scared of me to actually attempt to punish me in any way.

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WHAT

I've killed every single guild member I've come across and failed the only mission you've asked me to do miserably and yet you still congratulate and promote me!?

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He then goes to sleep like nothing ever happened.

I think he may very well be the worst guild leader ever.

Posted: Mon Apr 19, 2010 3:41 pm
by Darkin
No, HE IS THE BEST EVER

Posted: Mon Apr 19, 2010 4:59 pm
by Topazshot88
Remember that thing where Martin kept attacking you when you attacked things because his disposition was so low? I think all of your followers have that aspect now.

Posted: Mon Apr 19, 2010 5:06 pm
by Zink
Topazshot88 wrote:Remember that thing where Martin kept attacking you when you attacked things because his disposition was so low? I think all of your followers have that aspect now.
Yeah. They do.

I don't have any way to fix it, though, so OH WELL.

It's pretty funny anyway.

Posted: Mon Apr 19, 2010 8:19 pm
by Kupti Tranamo
Dang! I was excited that nameless was alive and THEN martin just has to kill him.

Posted: Mon Apr 19, 2010 8:54 pm
by Not Malum
It makes me wonder how martin could have been a priest.

I mean aren't Priests the kind of guys that would pity and HELP those kind of people!?

Posted: Mon Apr 19, 2010 10:47 pm
by Darkin
Zink wrote:Image
I love how he is looking away. "I didn't do it, don't know what you're talking about"

Posted: Mon Apr 19, 2010 11:01 pm
by Superior Bacon
i am excite for more updates!

poor nameless. may he rest in peace.

Posted: Mon Apr 19, 2010 11:57 pm
by Decker
Can't you use console cheats to trigger the Essential NPC flag on Nameless?

Posted: Tue Apr 20, 2010 12:08 am
by Zink
Decker wrote:Can't you use console cheats to trigger the Essential NPC flag on Nameless?
But then he wouldn't die and that would mean we would have less drama.

It's better than just having boring nothingness happen all the time.

(In fact, I maybe sorta kinda let him die on purpose the first time for that reason)

Posted: Tue Apr 20, 2010 8:04 am
by Fooflyer
nameless can reincarnate into any dark brotherhood member

Posted: Tue Apr 20, 2010 10:10 pm
by Not Malum
Decker wrote:Can't you use console cheats to trigger the Essential NPC flag on Nameless?
1.Open console
2. make self essential
3.???
Profit!