Well... I'm certainly never going to
that place again.
I might as well head to Cheydinhal. That is one place that I like. It's where I got my first house, after all!
Whoops I forgot that Bruma incident gave me a bounty
Somehow.
I took like a billion screenshots of these fight but it is actually pretty boring. Just me killing some more guards.
So this is the only one you get.
Well, okay, fine, you can have this one too. This is from when the Punch Misers started killing each other for no reason after the fight.
They are really weird sometimes.
Anyway, a few dead guards and one Punch Miser civil war later, I decide to check out the Fighter's Guild.
I mean, it isn't like I have anything better to do. They'd basically just be paying me to kill things.
That is the sort of job I like.
Yeah, sure I am. Where do I sign up?
Okay, I guess I should find this "Burz" guy then.
...Burz is a really cool name...
WHAT? You
dare refuse
my offer to join!? How
dare you! You will PAY for your insolence!
For the arrogance of your guild, I shall slay
every single member of your petty guild!
Well, the ones capable of dying anyway.
Hey, sleepy-head, guess who's first in line.
It's you.
Your first in line.
...Of course, you probably already figured it out, since you
are dead.
THERE IS A FIGHT
I knock that one guy I asked to join unconscious
And kill the Porter.
Well, that takes care of that...
...Hmmm... I can't help but feel that maybe,
just maybe, there is someone else that is normally here...
...I'd better wait an hour (or day) or two just to be safe...
AHA!
I was
right!
And he is dead.
What a wondrous occasion!
Now, off to the Bravil fighter's guild to kill everyone there!
Whoops, it looks like the guards aren't too pop flyin' with my presence.
Sucks to be them, then.
This is the result of their pride.
...Oh, hey, look, I ended up killing that one guy who I had to save from his own dreams.
Whoops.
They should not have misjudged me.
TO THE FIGHTER'S GUILD!
Yes. I am.
Too bad you won't be alive to see my initiation.
Velwyn begins distracting one of the other members with conversation.
I take advantage of the opening.
The three other members start trying to kill me.
They fail miserably.
TO LEYAWIIN
The guards here don't like me either.
I'm not even going to
bother showing you a screenshot of what happened to those guards. You should be able to guess by now.
I enter the Fighter's Guild and promptly begin killing all who can be killed.
Even though I killed se
veral of his comrades
right in front of him, the Fighter's Guild Porter is pop flyin' to accept my yield.
What an idiot.
What a very dead idiot.
~Doo dee doo~, massacring the Fighter's Guild, ~Doo dee doo~
This is the most fun I've had in a long time!
Time for Chorrol's!
Oh ho ho, look at these guards.
Trying to kill me.
How pathetic.
Oh look, A mage's guild member who just ripped his shirt off in preparation for battle.
... I don't understand why they keep doing that...
Oh well, who cares what a dead man does, anyway.
Whoops, it appears as though a million guards showed up when I wasn't looking.
...This...
...Might be difficult...
Very difficult.
Very, VERY difficult.
But certainly not impossible.
NOW, WHERE'S THAT GUILD?
Take that, you-
Oh, wait, he's essential. Oh well, at least I had the pleasure of beating him unconscious. Better than nothing, I suppose.
...Wha-?
The
Fighter's Guild employs
old ladies!?
...I... really think that maybe this guild isn't as elite as it pretends to be.
Anyway, I easily beat her, but she turns out to be essential.
It turns out that I already killed all the Fighter's Guild members in Chorrol from unrelated conflicts. Not surprising, considering how many street brawls I've been involved with here.
Anyway, the old lady and the other guy start talking about goblins, as if someone didn't just barge in and try to murder them.
Weirdos.
I go to Skingrad.
I kill a bunch of guards.
I think you know the drill by now.
NOW TO KILL EVERYONE IN THE-
...Fighter's... Guild...?
...Uh... that woman does not look like a Fighter's Guild member. I think I might have the wrong address...
Oh, would you look at that! It turns out I accidentally entered the
Mage's guild! Good thing I didn't kill everyone
there, as that would have been
really awkward once I realized my mistake. It would be all like "Oh, man, I'm
really sorry about killing you guys. I thought you were the
Fighter's guild. It was just a little misunderstanding".
Whelp, time to kill everyone in the
real Fighter's Guild.
Unfortunately, my plans of getting the jump on the members are ruined when a guard barges in and demands my immediate arrival at local jail.
I make sure he isn't able to barge in to anywhere ever again.
Anyway, I kill that one Argonian and not-Argonian.
...Wait... I remember seeing one more member when I walked in...
Aha! Thought you could escape, eh?
Well, nice try. You'll get it next time.
...Well, you
would, if it weren't for the fact that you will be very busy being
dead.
Anvil time.
Woohoo.
Once again, I'm not gonna bother showing you the battle with se
veral guards. You guys should be familiar with that shit already.
I walk in, kill the Porter, and am immediately attacked by a Dunmer woman and a... Breton, I think? It's hard to tell sometimes.
Not that it matters anymore anyway.
Oh hey guys.
I just killed a few of your members downstairs.
It went a little something like that.
One of the members walks past all the dead bodies and starts taking a nap.
What an idiot.
Now, next on my list is...
...Oh god.
No. No way. No way in
hell. There's not way that I'm going back to-
Bruma.
*sigh*.
Well, if I want everyone in the Fighter's Guild dead (who can be killed, anyway), I guess I have no choice. I'll just walk in calmly and naturally, and hopefully the clones won't bother me.
...Although, I must say, there is something
very unnerving about seeing an exact clone of yourself dead in front of you.
What?
A guard?
But... but...
HOW
WHAT THE FU-
HOW THE HE-
WHAASIOAFJDIOASJDF
YOU ALL DIED
HOW ARE THEIR SO MANY OF YOU
AND IN ONE PLACE!
and so there was a grand old fight
...Now...
...is not my time...
...to die...
*cough*
...Geez... that was the biggest guard battle I have ever won... I didn't even know there could be that many guards in one place.
...They probably hid from the clones or something... or maybe they
are clones. Sort of like how there were clones of me, there are now clones of the guard. Or something.
One thing's for certain, these guys are
definitely still in charge. Look at the way they just guard every single inch of the city.
...At least they don't seem aggressive anymore...
Inside the Fighter's Guild, I find one Argonian swinging his blade at nothing, despite the fact there is a training dummy like
right over there.
I end his life with one good hit.
He is the only one here. The only other Fighter's Guild member in Bruma was killed during the clone incident.
Well, there you have it. Every Fighter's Guild member that
can be killed
has been killed.
And all it took was a billion murders, guard genocide, and lots and lots of punching.
...Well, anyway, I guess that's punishment enough for the Fighter's Guild. I should probably pay off my bounty (which is like 50,000-60,000 right now) and go ahead and join them like I was going to.
What fun.
