Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 2:19 am
Well, I have to wait until midnight before I can go see the night mother or whatever.
I do so.
OH BOY WHAT FANTASTIC LOCATION WILL WE BE OFF TO NEXT
...The statue of the Lucky Old Lady? Really?
...I expected somewhere more... you know... less of a good reputation?
So, wait, the Lucky Old Lady was really a tool of the Dark Brotherhood this whole time?
...Wow.
...It's not really overwhelming. All you've really said is "THERE IS A SECRET PASSAGEWAY HERE".
I'm used to that sort of thing.
Anyway, what's-her-face yells some stupid crap, and the statue moves. revealing a secret passageway.
We all head down into the crypt. That ghost is, apparently, the night mother.
This is another one of those annoying times where the speech doesn't have subtitles, so let me explain.
What's her face (WHF): NIGHT MOTHER WE NEED YOU TO MAKE NEW LISTENER BECAUSE LUCIEN WERE BAD MAN
Night mother: YOU ARE DUMB LUCIEN WERE LOYAL SERVANT STUPID
What's her face: O RLY
Night mother: YA RLY
And that pretty much sums it up.
The Black Hand member who was obviously the traitor the whole time then draws his blade and says something along the lines of "enough of this"
He then SLOWLY starts killing two of the other Black Hand members. No one does anything about this. Even the guys that he is slashing to death just stand there like idiots.
I can't do anything because I am still stuck in CUTSCENE MODE and can't move at all.
Yep. There he is.
Swinging his sword.
Taking his time.
While everyone else just stands there.
Looks like the remaining Black Hand member is starting to take action.
And by that I mean "slowly walk forward a bit".
...The amount of incompetence in this room is stifling.
Finally, I am allowed to move and take part in this battle.
About daisies time.
I take the time mid-battle to take the robes off one of the dead Black Hand members.
They have some really badass robes.
I then proceed to give the traitor a beating like no other.
Finally, the guy is dead.
I'm pretty sure every Dark Brotherhood member except what's-her-face and I is dead now.
So apparently the night mother is very impressed with me.
I would be too if I were her. Especially compared to the incompetence she usually has to deal with.
Apparently, the night mother actually knew about all of this the whole time.
She is a terrible leader.
...yay?
Yeah, I am pretty awesome, aren't I?
And I get free stuff, too?
Today is a good day
The Cheydinhal Sanctuary?
Really?
Really?
That's the only place I can truly call home? What about, I don't know, my house?
Anyway, I take all the stuff she told me to take.
It's all pretty valuable. Mostly useless to me, but I can sell most of it for a fair price.
WHAT
WHAT
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR FACE
IT LOOKS
REALLY MESSED UP
SOMEONE GET THIS THING AWAY FROM ME
Anyway, since I seem to be making a habit of killing my superiors, I attempt attacking the night mother.
It doesn't have any affect.
I am disappointed.
Anyway, I talk to her and tell her I'm ready to leave.
...Uh...
I'm... not exactly into necrophilia...
That would probably be useful if I used weapons.
Which I don't.
And then I am in the Cheydinhal Sanctuary.
Woohoo.
The improved blade of woe looks kind of crappy. Even for those that do use weapons.
I'm probably just going to sell it.
AHHH
FACE LADY
WHY ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME
You mean I don't get to assassinate people anymore?
Seriously?
This is the worst promotion ever!
Yeah, no. You can find someone else to do your stupid chores.
There's no way I'm doing any of this crap.
I leave the sanctuary and immediately re-enter.
I want to take a look at these new recruits.
Hey, one of the bodies of one of the Dark Brotherhood members that I had to kill all that time ago is still here.
For some reason, this one stayed while all the others disappeared.
Weird.
All right, you new-recruits! I'm in charge around here! I have the authority to kill each and every one of you for any reason I desire!
Hey, you! The Khajiit! You look at me when I'm talking to you! You think I'm kidding? You think I'm joking? "Oh yeah, right, he ain't gonna kill us". Is that what you're thinking!?
Well, who's kidding now, dork-for-brains!?
Turning your back? What's wrong? Do you have a problem with death? Huh?
That's funny, you seem quite comfortable with it now!
You there! Skeleton man! Who said you could lurk around these halls? I sure as hell didn't!
We will just have to fix this...
The Charlie Manhuge way!
What's this? Sleeping? Did I say you could sleep? I don't believe I did!
Hmmm... Don't worry, I think I see a solution to this problem...
There! You can sleep all you want now!
...I guess all the new recruits are dead now. Too bad they couldn't have just followed orders.
You there! Face-lady! You expect me to just run back and forth every week getting you your little list while you get to have all the fun and, you know, assassinate people?
Well, I have problems with that!
Have at thee, face-lady! Let me teach you what happens to those that try to stop me from killing!
THERE IS A FIGHT
She's a really tough opponent. Sure, she doesn't do a lot of damage, but nothing does these days. However, she takes punches like a goddamn punching bag. My attacks seem to do almost nothing!
She also falls down.
A lot.
Seriously, every few punches she just collapses to the floor. She really needs to learn how to balance.
I knock her down a million times, even send her flying at one point, but she just takes the blows and keeps getting back up.
Finally, I achieve victory.
About time.
Unfortunately, she is marked as essential, so I have to leave her alive. Which is a shame.
I then turn and leave the sanctuary, leaving the only surviving member of the Dark Brotherhood unconscious on the floor.
It's been fun, Dark Brotherhood, but this is where we part ways. I was only in this for the assassination. However, now that I am no longer allowed to take part in that, I see no reason to stay any longer. Have fun running this organization without a Listener.
From now on, I, Charlie Manhuge, declare myself an enemy of the Dark Brotherhood. Any Dark Brotherhood member is as good as dead.
...Although, I think there is only one Dark Brotherhood member left. And I already beat that one unconscious.
...I guess there isn't even enough of the Dark Brotherhood left for me to declare myself an enemy of...
Huh.
I decide to head back to my house and relax for a little while. It's been a while since I've been here.
Remember how I took the severed head of the traitor's mother last update?
I decide to put in above my fireplace, so I can remember all of my great accomplishments in the Dark Brotherhood.
I think it really adds atmosphere.
I also decide to try on my new Black Hand robes.
They look really badass.
...I guess Martin got left behind when I teleported to Bravil, and then to Cheydinhal.
Oh well, I'm sure he'll catch up eventually.
...I've been with the Dark Brotherhood for so long, it's hard to believe it's over. I guess I'm going to have to find something new to occupy my time.
But what?