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Zink
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Post by Zink »

Badfish wrote:
They'll just fight uselessly to the death for no reason.
tsk tsk charlie, double negatives.
Uselessly because they suck at fighting.

For no reason because there is no reason for them to be fighting to the death.

They are referring to different things.

Koeqepp
Posts: 566
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Post by Koeqepp »

Zink did you know you can cast a 'beguile' or some such spell on a person and you don't have to do the persuasion minigame? You can even make a custom one that goes to 100 and lasts a second that will work for the entire time you talk to them if you start the conversation in that 1 second. The only downfall is that they turn bright green.

Anyways, I never got past like the third fighters guild quest cuz they always sent you back and forth for no reason whatsoever and you doing them is kinda cool. I can watch you do things I was too lazy to do. So, thanks dude.
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Decker
turns everyone into furries
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Post by Decker »

Or he can kill a load of mages, sell their daggers, and then spam the Bribe button.

People being bright green would be kind of weird to look at, really.

Eat_box
Posts: 4291
Joined: Sat May 16, 2009 9:54 am
Location: Somewhere. Everything's somewhere, man.

Post by Eat_box »

>Set self on fire

>Become a man
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Master War
Posts: 76
Joined: Sun Apr 04, 2010 10:46 am
Location: Australia

Post by Master War »

How much artifacts have you got, because for Mora's quest you need to complete all the other daedric quests so you should have 14.

Edit: Nevermind you need to have started blood of the daedra.
Last edited by Master War on Sat Aug 28, 2010 10:16 am, edited 1 time in total.

Topazshot88
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Location: The Northeast

Post by Topazshot88 »

Maybe that last guy wanted to protect himself from ninjas.

Zink
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Post by Zink »

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I wonder what Oreyn wants from me this time?

I hope it's a SUPER SPECIAL SECRET MISSION

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OH BOY IT SURE SOUNDS LIKE ONE

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Well, they were Fighter's Guild members, so my guess is they were all easily and horribly killed.

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If it's so important that this mission must be completed quickly, why did you specifically send for me instead of just asking someone nearby- oh right I killed them all.

Sorry about that

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I repeat: they were all killed.

If the men you sent were competent, they wouldn't be working for the Fighter's Guild.


...I mean, yeah, I work for the Fighter's Guild, but... I'm different, okay!?

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The mine is on the complete other end of Cyrodiil.

I HAVE A JOURNEY AHEAD OF ME

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AND NOW SAID JOURNEY IS BEHIND ME.

Well, let's see what happened. Who knows, maybe these members were competent and didn't get killed. Perhaps they're just taking a really long time because they want to be absolutely sure that every single troll is dead.

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I enter the cave and am immediately greeting with a woman laying dead in what is probably a pool of her own blood.

Well, that blows that theory to hell!

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Wow, the bodies are everywhere!

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I can't take more than a few steps without tripping on a corpse!

They must have gotten slaughtered!

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The blood definitely looks fresh.

I'm surprised I haven't slipped in it yet.

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There doesn't seem to be any troll corpses around.

Or any live ones, for that matter.

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In fact, the only thing that seems to be around that isn't a dead Fighter's Guild member is this mudcrab.

...Is this what killed them all?

Wow, I can't believe this. Fighter's Guild members have actually managed to surprise me with their incompetence!

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Another one? Wow, I can't believe there were so many-

...Wait a minute...

...This isn't a Fighter's Guild member... This is clearly Blackwood Company armor.

Something seems odd about this...

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There's another body nearby, but that just seems to be another Fighter's Guild corpse.

I have a bad feeling about this. I think I some take some precautions...

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There! Now I have the perfect disguise!

I don't exactly trust these Blackwood types, so, if I run into any, I want to be sure that it is I who trick them, not the other way around.

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Suddenly, almost as if on cue, a Troll appears!

Looks like the Fighter's Guild failed their mission really badly.

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Luckily, I am far more competent than the Fighter's Guild will ever be.

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Finally, near the very back of the cave, I find the body of Viranus.

The guildmaster probably isn't going to like this. But, oh well, she'll get over it.

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His body is located a couple yards away from this guy named "Eduard".

...I'm not quite sure how I am able to identify a body just by looking at it, even if I've never met the person before when they were alive.

Oh well. Only one thing left to do now: loot the dead!

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Hmm? A journal?

Well, it isn't like Viranus is gonna need it any more.

I suppose that he also won't mind if I take a moment to read his private journal.

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These first two pages just tell me that the Guild Master is over-protective and probably shouldn't be leading the Fighter's Guild, and that Viranus doesn't get a lot of missions for just those reasons.

In other words, a bunch of stuff I already know.

Come on, journal! I'm not prying into the private life of the recently deceased so I can hear about things someone told me already! Show me some of the good parts!

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Well, apparently, Viranus was really good friends with this Eduard fellow, and the lack of missions started to give him low self-esteem.

That's a bit better, but still not the most interesting of secrets.

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Hey, that entry is about me! ...Well, kinda, anyway. It's nice that he appreciates what I-

...WAIT A MOMENT! "Keep that new boot alive"? He thought he was the one keeping me alive!?

This man is even dumber than I thought!

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"naive as he is beautiful"? Viranus seems to write about Eduard fairly... passionately. Sounds like they may have been just a bit more than just friends.

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Unfortunately, after that entry, all that's left is a bunch of relevant stuff about how apparently the Blackwood Company came out of absolutely nowhere and killed the fuck out of everybody.

I'm slightly disappointed. The only good secret this journal contained was Viranus's secret crush or whatever, but even that was only implied.

This is the worst journal.

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Well, everything in that cave that wasn't me or the Punch Misers is dead, so I guess that means I'm done there.

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Everyone is dead.

That's really all there is to say about the matter.

Also I found Viranus's journal, but it wasn't particularly interesting.

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If it makes you feel any better, at least one of those Blackwood Co. guys died too.

I stripped him naked and took his armor in case I ever need a good disguise.

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Yeah, about Vilena... is there any particular reason why it seems like everyone in her family has a name starting with "V"?

It seems kinda dumb.

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Why, is she a "shoot the messenger" kind of leader?

Well, if you get fired, I may consider letting you join the Punch Misers.

...Maybe.

For now, I guess I should go see one of the other mission guys.

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Anvil is a fairly nice place, but it seems kinda... desolate, since I killed everyone in it.

I still cannot for the life of me remember why I did that.

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...Bad news? Why is it bad?

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Demoted? Why!? For making sure Viranus didn't get killed during that one mission and then completing the mission he did fail at?

I don't see how I did anything wrong here.

If the Guild Master wasn't immune to death, I would beat her to death so badly right now.

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Fine, fine, I suppose getting angry won't solve anything, I'll do your stupid little mission.

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Bruma then. Got it.

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It's been a while since I've been in Bruma.

I really did a number on those clones last time, huh?

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...There are still quite a few left, though.

I should probably do something about that sometime.

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Yeah, whatever.

I'm here about some stupid statue or something?

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I don't even know who Alessia is, nor do I care.

Just tell me where the stone is so I can kill whoever took it and bring the bloodstained stone back to you.

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No shit, asshole.

They robbed you in the middle of the night and then ran off. I am pretty sure that, by definition, that makes them bandits.

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Only four or five? Ha. Those kind of numbers pose no threat to me.

I'll get your stone back to you by morning.

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I doubt the bandits got far.

Bandits are generally too stupid to go very quickly without getting the sudden, insane urge to hide in a random cave.

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Hmm? Who's that square over there?

That must be one of the bandits!

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Well, he certainly seems down today. ...Maybe I should try to cheer him up before killing him?

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Yeah, I bet it was.

I mean, it sounds like just some stupid statue. I don't really see why it's such a big deal.

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Stolen again, eh? Didja get pickpocketed by a beggar or something?

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Ogres, you say?

That shouldn't be too much of a problem. For me, I mean. Obviously it was a problem for you, seeing as how all of your friends are dead.

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Sure, I'll you be. After one last thing...

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There we go. Much better.

If I get paid to kill some bandits, I am going to kill some daisies bandits.

THAT IS JUST THE WAY THINGS WORK!

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These must be the ruins.

...I admit, it's kinda cool how it's built into a mountain like that.

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We head in, beat the shit out of some ogres, and track down the stone.

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Wow, they ogres even put it on a pedestal!? They must be bigger art-lovers than I thought.

I have the stone, back to the chapel!

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Yes, as I matter of fact, I have.

It isn't bloodstained, though. I guess I was wrong about that.

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He gives me strong potions of healing.

Because I clearly need more of those

With that out of the way, I head back to Anvil for my official payment.

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Yep.

It was pretty easy to find, actually.

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Unfortunately for me, he lacks any more assignments for me.

Like, at all. Forever.

That was bodaciously the last assignment I will ever receive from him.

That means I'll never have to deal with his idiocy ever again.


YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Last edited by Zink on Sat Aug 28, 2010 11:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
Guyperson
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Post by Guyperson »

They demoted you? They demoted you?
I hope you get to kill the guild master in the end.
AwkwardSkeleton wrote:This is just crying out to be a signature.

Eat_box
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Location: Somewhere. Everything's somewhere, man.

Post by Eat_box »

Getting demoted to meaningless rank 5 to meaningless rank 4 is the worst.
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User avatar
Aranai
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Post by Aranai »

You know, every so often I tinker around trying to make a mod that makes that disguise thing Charlie tries every so often actually work. It's hard, factions are a pain. :|
[img]http://i89.photobucket.com/albums/k205/Aranai/morrigandisapproves.png[/img]

Durry
Posts: 13
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Location: Utah

Post by Durry »

Aranai wrote:You know, every so often I tinker around trying to make a mod that makes that disguise thing Charlie tries every so often actually work. It's hard, factions are a pain. :|
I remember downloading something that does just that, but I think it conflicted with some other mod I had
[img]http://i957.photobucket.com/albums/ae58/Durry_Quill/blurbdurry.jpg[/img]

http://www.youtube.com/user/DurryQuill

Zink
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Post by Zink »

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I'm not sure how many Fighter's Guild missions are even left. I mean, I bodaciously completed every single mission in Anvil. I can't imagine that there's many that I've left un-completed.

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...You know, somehow it never really occurred to me before now what a huge asshole this guy is.

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Let us all take a moment now to be thankful for the fact that our last name is not "Rugdumph".

Truly we are blessed.

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...An Orc noble? Is that like... a normal thing?

I seem to remember that Grey Prince fellow constantly whining about how no one would accept his noble lineage because he was an Orc. Then again, he was a pretty stupid and emo guy, so he was probably just looking for an excuse to complain about something.

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Ha, compared to your manners, my manners are...


...Well, okay, yeah, they're still pretty bad in comparison.

But I will still make no attempt to be more polite than usual simply out of spite.

So, anyway, who's this Orc girl I'm supposed to find or something?

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You know, it doesn't make sense that Orcs constantly complain about the "ALL ORCS ARE MEAN AND TOUGH" stereotype when they seem to go out of their way to keep it alive.

Just saying.

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Lord Funny-Name's estate is located a bit north of Cheydinhal.

I go on a short journey and blah blah blah. Point is I am there now.

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Seems like this guy has a fair amount of cheddar.

Still, you'd think a rich guy like whoever this guy is would like an estate closer to society.

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The decorations inside the house look expensive, if a bit superfluous.

That's probably Lord Made-Fun-Of-Mercilessly-In-Elementary-School-Due-To-Awful-Last-Name standing over there.

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What

What is this

What are you doing to the English Language

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What

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ANSWER THE daisies QUESTION, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING TO MY LANGUAGE!?

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Oh my god talking to you is like watching a thesaurus get digested and then thrown up, chunk by chunk!

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If she talks anything like you do, I also fear for her return!



...But... I suppose a job is a job. Where are these ogres, anyway?

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Okay, you know what? Nevermind. I'm not talking to you anymore.

Seriously, being around you is like watching vocabulary get stabbed to death in a dark city alleyway.

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STOP.

SAYING.

WORDS.

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Arghhh... that was horrible.

Hopefully punching Ogres to death will be enough to take my mind off of it...

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Hmm... those are definitely ogres.

But that Orc girl appears to be extremely elderly. Based on her clearly gray hair, anyway.

Maybe Lord Rug-Dumb is just really really old and is thus able to have a daughter who is also really really old.

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Well, time to get into a fistfight with a gang of giant ogres.

Business as usual.

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The thing I most dislike about ogres is that they take a lot of hits to go down.

It makes my fists tired.

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Anyway, the Punch Misers soon catch up to me, and there is a big ol' clusterfuck of a fight!

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I approach the orc lady and she starts muttering something about being embarrassed. I'm not sure why, considering I just-...

...Wait, what if she wasn't the person I was supposed to save? Come to think of it, the ogres didn't appear to be harming her in any way. They were just sort of... standing around. I hope they weren't just having a pleasant conversation or something, because I hate how awkward it gets when I murder someone's friends right in front of them.

Or maybe she's just upset that she got kidnapped in the first place. WHO KNOWS.

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Yeah, yeah, just keep telling yourself that. "The sun was in your eyes", "you were off-guard", "they cheated", blah blah blah. Go ahead, keep making excuses to hide your own inadequacy.

Well, now that I've apparently saved Lord I'm-Out-Of-Jokes's daughter, I should probably get back to his estate. I just can't wait to see how he mercilessly assaults the English language this time... urghh...

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Okay now he's not even trying anymore.

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Hey, what did I tell you about saying words?

Now stop it and shut up!

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Pfft. Weapons. That's adorable.

Sometimes I forget that some people actually need to use those.

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The thing that the man who can't say words gave me was a sword.

Honestly it's like people are mocking me at this point.

At least I can get my shitty Fighter's Guild payment...

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It's not much, but it's enough.

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Only one more? Sure, I'll take it on. I've got nothing better to do.

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If only that meant something

...Now what was that about disappearances?

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Mmmkay.

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I go over to Harlun's Watch. Sure enough, it seems strangely devoid of people.

All except for one person!

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..."We?"

By the looks of it, you're the only one here.

Are you one of those weirdos who refer to themselves as "we"? I hate those guys.

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They were probably all killed by whatever was causing the lights.

Possibly bandits waving around torches out of sheer boredom or something.

I've seen this kind of thing before.

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That's probably because it is difficult to see torches in the middle of the day.

But, whatever, I'll go investigate.

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Hmmm... A broken Oblivion gate, eh? I think this may have been the one I tore down during my Mage's Guild adventures. Perhaps that was the source of the light? It would definitely explain why they didn't come back.

...Of course, that was a while ago. I doubt that Dark Elf girl would wait that long to hire a search party.

Unless she's just really irresponsible, of course.

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Yeah, that's probably-... wait... Are those.

Oh... Oh god.

OH GOD NO

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MOTHER

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FUCKING

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WILL-O-WISPS!

I HATE THEM

I HATE THEM SO MUCH

MY HATRED IS SO STRONG IT PRODUCES THE HEAT OF AN ACCOUNTANT DIPPED IN GASOLINE AND THEN GLORIOUSLY LIT AFLAME.

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Do you have any idea how hard it is to punch these things?

It is like like punching air.

Have you ever tried to PUNCH AIR to DEATH!?

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After an irritatingly long and painful struggle, I finally manage to take those goddamn things down.

And you know what the worst part is? The absolute worst part?

There are no bodies around here. Which means that I have to investigate that cave.

Arrrrrggggggghhhhhhhh...

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Luckily, the cave is only filled with trolls.

Trolls I can handle.

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A bit deeper into the cave, I find the bodies.

That explains the disappearances.

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Queston tells me that the best course of action would be to commit troll genocide.

Generally Queston knows what he's talking about, so I decide to listen.

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AND WHAT A GLORIOUS GENOCIDE IT IS!

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Once the genocide is complete, I head back to town to talk to what's-her-face.

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Oh I found them alright.

Or, at least, what was left of them.

Which wasn't much.

...It was actually really unpleasant. Much like the trolls that killed them.

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...Well, that was an incredibly quick period of grieving. Glad to see you got over it, I guess.

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The ring actually seems... really good!

I think I'm going to stick with my current ones for now, but who knows, maybe I'll decide to switch sometime in the future.

I'd better head back to base for my normal payment, I guess.

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Yeah, it did kind of seem like over-kill.

Those dorks really picked a bad place to live.

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Well, okay then! Looks like my work with the guild is finally done!

...Hmm... That does leave me with very little to do... maybe I should finally go to Cloud Ruler Temple and-

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-Oh? Is he?

It sounds kinda shady...

I am 100% in!

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BurntToShreds
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Post by BurntToShreds »

So are you going to go through the entire last part of the quest line in your next update?
Burn 'em to shreds, tear 'em to ashes.

Zink
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Post by Zink »

BurntToShreds wrote:So are you going to go through the entire last part of the quest line in your next update?
Probably not.

Maybe the next two. Possibly three.

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supermario566
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[i]If she talks anything like you do, I also fear for her

Post by supermario566 »

Zink wrote:Image
Wait, he FEARS for her safe return.

How does this make any sense.
Ignore me.

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