NAACPLet's Play Pokemon Platinum! [finished]
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Defenestrator2.0
- Posts: 3931
- Joined: Mon Jun 23, 2008 1:37 am
- Location: The Present
- Contact:
Nnnnnno, I'm quite sure this is a game alright.
Y'know, for something thats an early-game electric Pokemon, it really should have at least one electric move.
I never quite know how Bide works. I mean, I know it causes the Pokemon to deal twice the damage it just took, but how does a Pokemon do that?! Especially as its a Normal-type move so it has no psychic involvement whatsoever, the only logical explanation!
Using leech life against Bide. Clever.
I mean, if you just had to use an attack.
Of course, killing the opponent outright is probably the best counter against Bide.
Aha! An electric Pokemon versus a flying Pokemon! This'll be a cinch!
.......which is what I would be saying if I wasn't fighting a goddamn bat!
A GOD! daisies! BAT!
FUCKEN' FINALLY! Geezus, one single Zubat should not be that hard to take down!
I'd probably be berating you for your evil deeds, except that I'm collecting Pokemon from the Valley Windworks. So how about we call it even and not tell anyone.
GEEZUS calm down dude, a simple "no" would've sufficed!
Oh, a Stunky. As if we haven't seen that a hundred times already.
It doesn't even deserve its own screentime.
Yeah, um, actually I don't. Normally, the Team's second-in-command is supposed to entirely explain away his plan by now. What's the hold-up guys?
I've gotta hand it to the Galactic Admin: he's genre savvy enough to know that his own grunts just love to squeal away the plans at the first opportunity!
Well finally! So whats your big plan already?
Galactic's every-day amnesia even seems to be present in commanders too!
Evil plot revealed! And bang on time too!
Perhaps it's because you keep it entirely in secrecy and don't let anyone know?
Naah! They're obviously just haters!
Um, alright. Most evil guys would've just carried on their business and not totally stop for a wandering stranger.
I don't know which is more ridiculous. The skirt or the hairstyle.
You should totally get a beret! They're cool, rite?
O... kay, so my bat may have evolved a little ahead of schedule...
Eating it, actually. Hope you weren't attached to it very much.
Even when blessed with the power to actually see, it still only managed to knock a portion of its health off. Poor show, I say.
I always thought Tails was better than Rouge! That just goes to prove it.
SWEET MERCIFUL GOD WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN FEEDING THAT THING?!
I MEAN HOW ON EARTH DID YOU EVEN MANAGE TO FIT IT INTO THE POKEBALL?!
Yeah, alright, so maybe I should've head to the Pokemon center before challenging a commander.
Yeah, I'm not sure what I was thinking sending a bird Pokemon out against it...
C'mon Wukong, its all up to you know! Kill that fat-booty excuse for a cat! Put it out of its horrible horrible misery!
Hells yeah!
I mean Wootinary. That's what I meant to say.
Well that's definitely a Wootinary position.
YOU UPPITY BRAT! The harshest of insults!
Speaks like Yoda, he does. Star Wars fan, he must be. Now, it makes sense, Team Galactic's name does.
Actually, Mars, why did you have such pathetic Pokemon anyway if you're a commander? I mean, it took a kid with only one gym badge to beat you. Is this really the top forces of Galactic?
I should totally end my emails with "Barry Monahan, the genius even the boss recognizes"!
...wait, what? Y'know, I'm over here, with only one Pokemon left. Most people would've tried to finish a guy like that off, especially if they're such a genius as you apparently are. Not decide to leave me with just a bit of team life left.
Are you sure you're not a major Square Enix boss?
You show him girl! Men don't boss you around anymore! You're a free woman!
Uh. Okay. I thought you just said you weren't going to be bossed around by him, but okay.
Yeah... I'm not quite sure how they expect to make an entire new planet. I'm sure they must have got their calculations wrong somewhere...
Okay, now I definitely know they need a new mathematician!
I can imagine the headquarters meeting right now:
Guy 1 (on drugs):"Hey, guys, y'know what'd be awesome? Creating an entire universe ourselves!"
Guy 2: "Umm... okay, and how do you propose we do that?"
Guy 3: "ROB A WIND FARM! I always wanted to rob a wind farm!"
Guy 4: "And while we're at it, can we beat up an old man and try capture Pokemon along the way?"
Guy 2: "Sure. But just to be safe, we should tell all our lackeys to announce our plans to anyone who passes by. It's the only way to be sure!"
Guy 3: "Makes sense to me!"
Gee, what a caring and thoughtful daughter. I mean what, were you only asking to have him rescued so that you could insult his smell?
It IS me! Wow, I never would've thought that I'm actually me! What a plot twist!
Yeah... you're a bit behind on that, y'know. They already left for no adequately explained reason.
Umm... thanks, but I didn't actually say anything.
Come to think of it, I don't think I'm actually capable of speech in this game. What, do I go to mime school in the summer or something?
Right, I get it, head to Eterna City! Geez, how many times have I been told to go there?!
And FINALLY I can pass the bridge! Just as long as there isn't a troll or something hiding underneath, asking for payment.
Grumble grumble.
Last edited by Plasma on Mon Jun 15, 2009 7:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Clear Blue
- Posts: 319
- Joined: Wed Feb 25, 2009 4:51 am
Two things, before the LP continues:
1: I've switch from Imageshack to Photobucket. Its easier to use for mass-uploading of images like this. Plus, apparently Imageshack hates me now and wants me dead.
2: I really should've put off an update today as a result from stress; I still have a few extra updates made at the start (double updates) so I could take a day off without upsetting my once-a-day plan. But oh well.
3: I have a good plan for tomorrow's update. Whee.
Of course, just because Team Galactic has left the area doesn't mean there's not an abundance of idiots trying to fight me.
HOLY CRAP A PONY YOU CAN GET boners IN THIS GAME I WANT ONE I WANT ONE SQUEEEEEEE-
*ahem*
I mean, boners are for chumps. Chumps and girlies.
I have a bunch of jokes ready about beating a dead horse, but somehow I think I may have overdone them.
If levels were years, Wukong would be able to vote now.
He'd vote {insert opposed political party here}, of course. They're the only ones who fling around crap more than he does!
Technically, doesn't that make you a cosplayer?
Well it would explain why you have a woman's voice anyway.
Hah! Your Geodude is no match for Wukong's monkey-fu!
Umm... your Geodude's still no match for Wukong's monkey-fu.
Your Geo- ah for gods sake! Take a book out of the Bidoof's page: sending out the same Pokemon but slightly higher leveled does not work!
RPG rulebook article 3.14: "No opponent may be permitted to be found outside of their natural environment except for when the story permits so". Yes, there's a rule alright.
Holy crap, its a slug that looks like a clown! That is effing awesome!
Effing awesome to the max!!
Right...
So when you squeeze it...
It pees itself.
Made all the more worse by the fact that you can ride on top of it with Surf!
I must be the worst trainer possible when it comes to naming my Pokemon!
I really should've done this earlier. I only noticed after catching Shellos that I only had half a Pokemon still conscious.
You can't tell it from the screenshot, but that kid is actually running circles around me. But he can't see me whatsoever.
What a digital dummy!
Aroma Ladies were actually the product of a super-secret woman-only organisation with the aims to control the world. Unfortunately for them, being sweet-smelling only allowed for control of 50% of the population: in their haste, they forgot to give them breast enchancements!
Well geez, for a slug it sure is absolutely pathetic at destroying flowers! What, it waters them? Gives them mud? What kind of slug are you?!
Birds, however, have always been the natural predator of fauna. You ever see a bird nest? For them, having a home made of twigs is the equivalent of a fortress made of bones for us!
I AM DUDE, DESTROYER OF BERRY TREES!
Okay. It was one thing when every item found on the ground was shaped just like a Pokeball. But now other types of balls are coloured the exact same? Isn't there some sort of regulations on these things?
Right. How did you manage to get lost? I mean, the town is just directly south from here!
Heck, you could probably just head straight along any path and you'd find your way somewhere. Routes on this island seem to be rather linear, as if there was only one way that I'm supposed to go through...
....hm. My Shellos just wet himself again. Perhaps pitting him against the towering monstrous rock-snake was not the smartest of moves.
Then again, PeeBrain seems to be able to look after itself! Man that guy is actually rather good!
Play? Play?! I'll have you know, little missie, that Pokemon battles are serious business!
Oh god daisies I hate that fucking penguin.
I hate that penguin! I hate that fucking penguin!
SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS!
BITCH!
Umm... technically speaking, that Pokemon is doing an eternal handstand.
On one hand.
Well that is impressive! It sorta makes up for you sending out that fucking penguin.
Alright, no it doesn't. I still hate your guts and want you dead.
Have fun anyway, Kiddo!
Oh awesome! And do you know what happens when a Shinx reaches level 15?
It evolves!
Wait, did the game just respond to my personal thought?
OH SHIT IT CAN READ MY MIND!
After so many people asking me to evolve him, it's finally time...
...to say FUCK YOU to my audience! AHAHAHAHAH oh I'm evil!
Oh fine, I'll evolve it next time so. (buncha crybabies!)
It's a house! In the middle of nowhere!
What is it doing here?!
Hmm... so, despite being a total stranger and barging into your house, you still want me to sleep for a while?
Well, as suspicious as that is, I'm gonna have to take you up on that offer! It feels like I haven't slept in about three weeks!
*DAWN OF THE SECOND DAY*
Right, now to continue onwards! Next stop, the Viridian Forest knock-off!
Oh yeah. Now I remember why I hated forests so much. You can't go three steps without needing an antidote.
Hm. See, this is normally where I'd go into the new area for about another 10 pictures before calling it a day, but it turns out that our animation budget has ran out. Whoops!
Wild guesses as to whats the plan next update may commence!
1: I've switch from Imageshack to Photobucket. Its easier to use for mass-uploading of images like this. Plus, apparently Imageshack hates me now and wants me dead.
2: I really should've put off an update today as a result from stress; I still have a few extra updates made at the start (double updates) so I could take a day off without upsetting my once-a-day plan. But oh well.
3: I have a good plan for tomorrow's update. Whee.
Of course, just because Team Galactic has left the area doesn't mean there's not an abundance of idiots trying to fight me.
HOLY CRAP A PONY YOU CAN GET boners IN THIS GAME I WANT ONE I WANT ONE SQUEEEEEEE-
*ahem*
I mean, boners are for chumps. Chumps and girlies.
I have a bunch of jokes ready about beating a dead horse, but somehow I think I may have overdone them.
If levels were years, Wukong would be able to vote now.
He'd vote {insert opposed political party here}, of course. They're the only ones who fling around crap more than he does!
Technically, doesn't that make you a cosplayer?
Well it would explain why you have a woman's voice anyway.
Hah! Your Geodude is no match for Wukong's monkey-fu!
Umm... your Geodude's still no match for Wukong's monkey-fu.
Your Geo- ah for gods sake! Take a book out of the Bidoof's page: sending out the same Pokemon but slightly higher leveled does not work!
RPG rulebook article 3.14: "No opponent may be permitted to be found outside of their natural environment except for when the story permits so". Yes, there's a rule alright.
Holy crap, its a slug that looks like a clown! That is effing awesome!
Effing awesome to the max!!
Right...
So when you squeeze it...
It pees itself.
Made all the more worse by the fact that you can ride on top of it with Surf!
I must be the worst trainer possible when it comes to naming my Pokemon!
I really should've done this earlier. I only noticed after catching Shellos that I only had half a Pokemon still conscious.
You can't tell it from the screenshot, but that kid is actually running circles around me. But he can't see me whatsoever.
What a digital dummy!
Aroma Ladies were actually the product of a super-secret woman-only organisation with the aims to control the world. Unfortunately for them, being sweet-smelling only allowed for control of 50% of the population: in their haste, they forgot to give them breast enchancements!
Well geez, for a slug it sure is absolutely pathetic at destroying flowers! What, it waters them? Gives them mud? What kind of slug are you?!
Birds, however, have always been the natural predator of fauna. You ever see a bird nest? For them, having a home made of twigs is the equivalent of a fortress made of bones for us!
I AM DUDE, DESTROYER OF BERRY TREES!
Okay. It was one thing when every item found on the ground was shaped just like a Pokeball. But now other types of balls are coloured the exact same? Isn't there some sort of regulations on these things?
Right. How did you manage to get lost? I mean, the town is just directly south from here!
Heck, you could probably just head straight along any path and you'd find your way somewhere. Routes on this island seem to be rather linear, as if there was only one way that I'm supposed to go through...
....hm. My Shellos just wet himself again. Perhaps pitting him against the towering monstrous rock-snake was not the smartest of moves.
Then again, PeeBrain seems to be able to look after itself! Man that guy is actually rather good!
Play? Play?! I'll have you know, little missie, that Pokemon battles are serious business!
Oh god daisies I hate that fucking penguin.
I hate that penguin! I hate that fucking penguin!
SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS!
BITCH!
Umm... technically speaking, that Pokemon is doing an eternal handstand.
On one hand.
Well that is impressive! It sorta makes up for you sending out that fucking penguin.
Alright, no it doesn't. I still hate your guts and want you dead.
Have fun anyway, Kiddo!
Oh awesome! And do you know what happens when a Shinx reaches level 15?
It evolves!
Wait, did the game just respond to my personal thought?
OH SHIT IT CAN READ MY MIND!
After so many people asking me to evolve him, it's finally time...
...to say FUCK YOU to my audience! AHAHAHAHAH oh I'm evil!
Oh fine, I'll evolve it next time so. (buncha crybabies!)
It's a house! In the middle of nowhere!
What is it doing here?!
Hmm... so, despite being a total stranger and barging into your house, you still want me to sleep for a while?
Well, as suspicious as that is, I'm gonna have to take you up on that offer! It feels like I haven't slept in about three weeks!
*DAWN OF THE SECOND DAY*
Right, now to continue onwards! Next stop, the Viridian Forest knock-off!
Oh yeah. Now I remember why I hated forests so much. You can't go three steps without needing an antidote.
Hm. See, this is normally where I'd go into the new area for about another 10 pictures before calling it a day, but it turns out that our animation budget has ran out. Whoops!
Wild guesses as to whats the plan next update may commence!
-
Defenestrator2.0
- Posts: 3931
- Joined: Mon Jun 23, 2008 1:37 am
- Location: The Present
- Contact:
In tonight's update, the part of Cheryl will be played by BlakYoshi (in exclusive green font). If any part of this episode is sucky, blame him.
Man, this forest is so daisies long, even the word "Eternal" in its name doesn't have an end!
Mute.
You're not a statue, are you? Say something!
I just did! Err... didn't. Hm, I can never get used to this internal dialog thing.
AAH WHAT THE HELL YOU CAN READ MY MIND?!
Oh, I can do many things.
I take it then one of your "many things" is not "ability to not aggrivate everyone in sight" then.
Ah well, it wouldn't be Pokemon if people actually left me alone at some point...
When answering, please keep in mind that saying no will result in me slitting your throat. With my bare hands.
I wish I could say I didn't see this coming, I really could. All I wanted is to meet some nice dialog-reading girl who doesn't want to kill me.
Every RPG has their own fancy way of saying "MINORCHARACTERMAN HAS JOINED THE PARTY".
MinorCharacterMan must really get around.
So you use your Pokemon to h-
And if sheer intimidation fails to keep them on their feet, Chansey can heal them.
...
I don't know whether to be scared or to be worshipping you as a god.
Either one is fine by me.
In all fairness, you really do have no chance if you're trying to beat a gym leader... with bug Pokemon!
I mean geez, a team of Bidoofs could probably do better!
You're one to talk, with a Shellos in your group.
Fuck you! That guy is awesome! PEEBRAIN, USE YOUR PEE ATTACK ON HER!
Odd. Ghost pokemon usually run away from me.
Hey, you're a minor character! You're not supposed to foreshadow!
I do as I wish.
Hey HEY! What do you think you're doing?! This is my battle, damnit!
Oh, you don't want help? Good luck.
No, ah, Gastly, I really wouldn't- oh god, I think I'm gonna be sick!
Normally I'd tell you not to waste Pokeballs, but your Shellos is evidence you'd simply ignore me.
daisies straight! I am gonna catch that Gastly, stick it in a PC, and never touch it again! BECAUSE GASTLYS ARE JUST THAT FUCKING AWESOME!
Using an Ultra Ball on a Pokemon you plan not to use. You're not too bright, are you?
HE'S JUST! THAT! FUCKING! AWESOME!
Whoever wrote this has clearly never met me.
Hey hey HEY! I thought we had an agreement: as a minor character, you are strictly forbidden from having a past before I arrived here! Go get amnesia or something!
Hello, my name's Cheryl. And you are...?
daisies straight!
Okay, here's the plan: we each walk forward at the same time, and take one opponent each
What exactly compels people to wait at wilderness trails miles from civilization and battle any trainers who happen to walk by?
That's a good question, but its also one that can wait until I'm not anywhere around to hear it. Now GO!
...or just stay behind me and I get attacked by both of them? Umm, I don't think that was part of my plan.
Bug pokemon haven't been cool for years... Has he been standing here for that long?
I'm wearing a bright beret and you've got green hair. Somehow I don't think we're the experts at deciding whats cool.
Screw your opinion, I have green hair!
Hah! You still have to fight anyway! Ah, the glories of a broken system!
Oh look, it's one of those obnoxious squirrels. Chansey, fight to kill.
It was an accident! My finger slipped! I didn't mean it, really!
I'm sure...
Well for as long as the game has conditioned me such that sarcasm or lying is completely non-existant, I'm confident you mean it!
I can tell you're going to be very easy to manipulate.
You're telling me. So far, I've been wrapped into giving a parcel to a guy called McPants, discovering as much Pokemon as I can for Rowan, fighting off bad guys for Dawn and Nameless Little Girl, guiding you around a simple forest... and I still think I owe McPants several million bucks.
Oh, that doesn't count. Being chained to the plot comes with the protagonist job.
AHH WHAT THE FUCK?! HOW DOES A SHELLOS GET DEFEATED?! WHAT MANNER OF WITCHCRAFT IS THIS?
Have you been listening to me? Ever?
That fucking penguin set that Wurmple up, didn't he? That must be it!
Wait, wait, wait... did your Pokemon just eat its unborn young??!
The egg's not fertilized, dimwit. Besides, eating it magically heals wounds apparently.
I don't care, its still pretty sick to me!
Nigh invincibility is worth disgusting others for.
Alright, I have to ask: how does a cocoon-based Pokemon manage to tackle a puppy? I mean the thing is completely stationary!
I don't think we're supposed to worry about such things.
You, obviously, have never seen my Puppy in action then! This guy can kick booty 7 ways from... what day is it today anyway?
I've seen your puppy get tackled by a bag of bug guts, and that's good enough for me.
Hmm... y'know, if I didn't know any better, I'd swear there's some sort of theme with those Pokemon.
What, they're all worthless?
That, and I WANT TO CATCH THEM!
Same thing.
Hah! Finally, I can level up Zapuppy!
How is that blue rat STILL ALIVE!?
I told you: pure, unfiltered awesome!
Failing to kill things does not fit my definition of awesome.
Hey, just because you took down all four of those enemies doesn't mean that I couldn't have on my own! ...except when using PeeBrain, he doesn't count.
Hm, whoops. Well, I know I said I'd level it up at level 16, but it turns out that squirrels naturally excrete experience or something.
All the more reason to slaughter them mercilessly.
I don't know which I should be more frightened of: your obvious psychopathic tendancies, or the fact that I've been mowing down dozens of Pokemon on my way here...
Well finally! Its about time this guy learned how to use his jaws!
Oh what a surprise. I totally did not see this happening because I definitely did not use outside information, just like I said I wouldn't. Totally.
Information? You, learn things? Shocking.
A trainer and Pokemon bonding as one? ...Bill didn't screw up his teleportation project again, did he?
Maybe it's like the bond pants-boy has.
The only thing he knows how to bond is a crowbar to people's kneecaps. He doesn't even have a bond from his brain to the rest of his body!
Why don't psychics ever throw pokeballs like normal people?
I bet its just held up by string! ...very, very unbendable string. All magic tricks are just string, y'know.
Glowing string?
the glow is also just balls of string. Probably undergoing fusion or someting. Its not farfetched for magicians to have super-hi-tech string.
AHAHAHAH! Its a flipping Abra! And it didn't even bother to evolve! What're ya gonna do, try and teleport out of battle?!
The quality of v- trainers... in this region truly saddens me.
You said it, chu- HEY!
Wait, wait, what the fuck?! What, did that Abra use to work as an X-man or something? You should be teleporting, damnit, not doing actual damage!
Perhaps I judged too hastily.
daisies right you did! I'm blaming this all on you!
Despite my taking no part in the actual battle.
That's just a technicality!
Why is that rabbit and worm staring at us? At the exact same angle?
Oh wait, Bunearys always have ears like that? Man, I must owe Rowan an apology! Now if only we can find a Pikachu with half a face seemingly missing, I'll be convinced he's really a normal guy!
I grow fonder of this Rowan the more you speak of him.
I think you're a bit too old for him.
That's not quite what I meant...
Of course, I'm sure it won't know how to extend its ears until it witnesses a Coal Badge.
Spring-loaded ears... the world exists to confuse me.
Obscure reference powers activate! (Point goes to Cheryl. I mean BlakYoshi. Although by accident.)
At least you're consistent about catching worthless Pokemon.
Hey, don't take that from her Silcoon! Attack her with Harden!
You know that's not an attack, don't you?
Yeah... mabye you have a point with this Pokemon...
Note that unlike last time, no mention is made of combat abilities.
Y'know, just a thought, but how does this guy evolve anyway? I mean, what, does it have to wait around until a weak Pokemon accidentally trips over it or something?
The mysteries of evolution.
Well its not like I had any other choice on what to name it. Except maybe "Moist Cocoon".
You sicken me.
Oh wow, a shard! OH WOW! AND THERE'S A ROCK RIGHT NEXT TO IT! BEST! DAY! EVER!
What exactly is this a shard OF, anyway?
daisies. I want to explore that area, but there's little shrubs sorta blocking the way. And the only other way in is to climb over this small picket fence. Looks like we'll have to keep on going...
You'll get no argument here.
...I don't know if I could survive listening to you much longer!
Hey, thats low! Mock my Pokemon all you want, slaughter anything I want to catch, but goddamit LEAVE MY VOICE OUT OF THIS!
Without an escort to keep up appearances, things might have gotten... messy.
Y'know, its not a good idea, social-wise, to be talking about that kinda thing in public. Nobody wants to hear about your "tme of the month", however that thing works.
Your sheer ignorance has saved me much trouble.
Ah well, I'm always looking out for the lady folk!
This is the least useful thing I can think of to give you.
Aw man, what happened to the good ol' days when the rescurer always got a facebattle from the lady folk?
Don't even think about it.
Yeah, you're right. Brr, I could've gotten cooties!
Hey, we talked about this! No foreshadowing! Jeez, your last ones weren't even explained in this encounter! You're destroying the entire system, y'know!
I enjoy destroying things.
Well yeah, who doesn't? By the way, does that foreshadowing actually mean something? As in, are we really going to meet again at some point?
I hope not.
Knowing this game, that probably means that we will...
And then she was gone.
I think she had a crush on me!
Man, this forest is so daisies long, even the word "Eternal" in its name doesn't have an end!
Mute.
You're not a statue, are you? Say something!
I just did! Err... didn't. Hm, I can never get used to this internal dialog thing.
AAH WHAT THE HELL YOU CAN READ MY MIND?!
Oh, I can do many things.
I take it then one of your "many things" is not "ability to not aggrivate everyone in sight" then.
Ah well, it wouldn't be Pokemon if people actually left me alone at some point...
When answering, please keep in mind that saying no will result in me slitting your throat. With my bare hands.
I wish I could say I didn't see this coming, I really could. All I wanted is to meet some nice dialog-reading girl who doesn't want to kill me.
Every RPG has their own fancy way of saying "MINORCHARACTERMAN HAS JOINED THE PARTY".
MinorCharacterMan must really get around.
So you use your Pokemon to h-
And if sheer intimidation fails to keep them on their feet, Chansey can heal them.
...
I don't know whether to be scared or to be worshipping you as a god.
Either one is fine by me.
In all fairness, you really do have no chance if you're trying to beat a gym leader... with bug Pokemon!
I mean geez, a team of Bidoofs could probably do better!
You're one to talk, with a Shellos in your group.
Fuck you! That guy is awesome! PEEBRAIN, USE YOUR PEE ATTACK ON HER!
Odd. Ghost pokemon usually run away from me.
Hey, you're a minor character! You're not supposed to foreshadow!
I do as I wish.
Hey HEY! What do you think you're doing?! This is my battle, damnit!
Oh, you don't want help? Good luck.
No, ah, Gastly, I really wouldn't- oh god, I think I'm gonna be sick!
Normally I'd tell you not to waste Pokeballs, but your Shellos is evidence you'd simply ignore me.
daisies straight! I am gonna catch that Gastly, stick it in a PC, and never touch it again! BECAUSE GASTLYS ARE JUST THAT FUCKING AWESOME!
Using an Ultra Ball on a Pokemon you plan not to use. You're not too bright, are you?
HE'S JUST! THAT! FUCKING! AWESOME!
Whoever wrote this has clearly never met me.
Hey hey HEY! I thought we had an agreement: as a minor character, you are strictly forbidden from having a past before I arrived here! Go get amnesia or something!
Hello, my name's Cheryl. And you are...?
daisies straight!
Okay, here's the plan: we each walk forward at the same time, and take one opponent each
What exactly compels people to wait at wilderness trails miles from civilization and battle any trainers who happen to walk by?
That's a good question, but its also one that can wait until I'm not anywhere around to hear it. Now GO!
...or just stay behind me and I get attacked by both of them? Umm, I don't think that was part of my plan.
Bug pokemon haven't been cool for years... Has he been standing here for that long?
I'm wearing a bright beret and you've got green hair. Somehow I don't think we're the experts at deciding whats cool.
Screw your opinion, I have green hair!
Hah! You still have to fight anyway! Ah, the glories of a broken system!
Oh look, it's one of those obnoxious squirrels. Chansey, fight to kill.
It was an accident! My finger slipped! I didn't mean it, really!
I'm sure...
Well for as long as the game has conditioned me such that sarcasm or lying is completely non-existant, I'm confident you mean it!
I can tell you're going to be very easy to manipulate.
You're telling me. So far, I've been wrapped into giving a parcel to a guy called McPants, discovering as much Pokemon as I can for Rowan, fighting off bad guys for Dawn and Nameless Little Girl, guiding you around a simple forest... and I still think I owe McPants several million bucks.
Oh, that doesn't count. Being chained to the plot comes with the protagonist job.
AHH WHAT THE FUCK?! HOW DOES A SHELLOS GET DEFEATED?! WHAT MANNER OF WITCHCRAFT IS THIS?
Have you been listening to me? Ever?
That fucking penguin set that Wurmple up, didn't he? That must be it!
Wait, wait, wait... did your Pokemon just eat its unborn young??!
The egg's not fertilized, dimwit. Besides, eating it magically heals wounds apparently.
I don't care, its still pretty sick to me!
Nigh invincibility is worth disgusting others for.
Alright, I have to ask: how does a cocoon-based Pokemon manage to tackle a puppy? I mean the thing is completely stationary!
I don't think we're supposed to worry about such things.
You, obviously, have never seen my Puppy in action then! This guy can kick booty 7 ways from... what day is it today anyway?
I've seen your puppy get tackled by a bag of bug guts, and that's good enough for me.
Hmm... y'know, if I didn't know any better, I'd swear there's some sort of theme with those Pokemon.
What, they're all worthless?
That, and I WANT TO CATCH THEM!
Same thing.
Hah! Finally, I can level up Zapuppy!
How is that blue rat STILL ALIVE!?
I told you: pure, unfiltered awesome!
Failing to kill things does not fit my definition of awesome.
Hey, just because you took down all four of those enemies doesn't mean that I couldn't have on my own! ...except when using PeeBrain, he doesn't count.
Hm, whoops. Well, I know I said I'd level it up at level 16, but it turns out that squirrels naturally excrete experience or something.
All the more reason to slaughter them mercilessly.
I don't know which I should be more frightened of: your obvious psychopathic tendancies, or the fact that I've been mowing down dozens of Pokemon on my way here...
Well finally! Its about time this guy learned how to use his jaws!
Oh what a surprise. I totally did not see this happening because I definitely did not use outside information, just like I said I wouldn't. Totally.
Information? You, learn things? Shocking.
A trainer and Pokemon bonding as one? ...Bill didn't screw up his teleportation project again, did he?
Maybe it's like the bond pants-boy has.
The only thing he knows how to bond is a crowbar to people's kneecaps. He doesn't even have a bond from his brain to the rest of his body!
Why don't psychics ever throw pokeballs like normal people?
I bet its just held up by string! ...very, very unbendable string. All magic tricks are just string, y'know.
Glowing string?
the glow is also just balls of string. Probably undergoing fusion or someting. Its not farfetched for magicians to have super-hi-tech string.
AHAHAHAH! Its a flipping Abra! And it didn't even bother to evolve! What're ya gonna do, try and teleport out of battle?!
The quality of v- trainers... in this region truly saddens me.
You said it, chu- HEY!
Wait, wait, what the fuck?! What, did that Abra use to work as an X-man or something? You should be teleporting, damnit, not doing actual damage!
Perhaps I judged too hastily.
daisies right you did! I'm blaming this all on you!
Despite my taking no part in the actual battle.
That's just a technicality!
Why is that rabbit and worm staring at us? At the exact same angle?
Oh wait, Bunearys always have ears like that? Man, I must owe Rowan an apology! Now if only we can find a Pikachu with half a face seemingly missing, I'll be convinced he's really a normal guy!
I grow fonder of this Rowan the more you speak of him.
I think you're a bit too old for him.
That's not quite what I meant...
Of course, I'm sure it won't know how to extend its ears until it witnesses a Coal Badge.
Spring-loaded ears... the world exists to confuse me.
Obscure reference powers activate! (Point goes to Cheryl. I mean BlakYoshi. Although by accident.)
At least you're consistent about catching worthless Pokemon.
Hey, don't take that from her Silcoon! Attack her with Harden!
You know that's not an attack, don't you?
Yeah... mabye you have a point with this Pokemon...
Note that unlike last time, no mention is made of combat abilities.
Y'know, just a thought, but how does this guy evolve anyway? I mean, what, does it have to wait around until a weak Pokemon accidentally trips over it or something?
The mysteries of evolution.
Well its not like I had any other choice on what to name it. Except maybe "Moist Cocoon".
You sicken me.
Oh wow, a shard! OH WOW! AND THERE'S A ROCK RIGHT NEXT TO IT! BEST! DAY! EVER!
What exactly is this a shard OF, anyway?
daisies. I want to explore that area, but there's little shrubs sorta blocking the way. And the only other way in is to climb over this small picket fence. Looks like we'll have to keep on going...
You'll get no argument here.
...I don't know if I could survive listening to you much longer!
Hey, thats low! Mock my Pokemon all you want, slaughter anything I want to catch, but goddamit LEAVE MY VOICE OUT OF THIS!
Without an escort to keep up appearances, things might have gotten... messy.
Y'know, its not a good idea, social-wise, to be talking about that kinda thing in public. Nobody wants to hear about your "tme of the month", however that thing works.
Your sheer ignorance has saved me much trouble.
Ah well, I'm always looking out for the lady folk!
This is the least useful thing I can think of to give you.
Aw man, what happened to the good ol' days when the rescurer always got a facebattle from the lady folk?
Don't even think about it.
Yeah, you're right. Brr, I could've gotten cooties!
Hey, we talked about this! No foreshadowing! Jeez, your last ones weren't even explained in this encounter! You're destroying the entire system, y'know!
I enjoy destroying things.
Well yeah, who doesn't? By the way, does that foreshadowing actually mean something? As in, are we really going to meet again at some point?
I hope not.
Knowing this game, that probably means that we will...
And then she was gone.
I think she had a crush on me!
Last edited by Plasma on Tue Jun 16, 2009 6:54 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Ahh... finally, out of the forest! No more bug Pokemon for me!
Welp, spoke too soon.
Using a net ball for just a Cascoon sounds a bit off. But what you didn't see was me wasting 1000 bucks of Pokeballs on it beforehand.
Hah! Step on a Geodude, and it'll get angry. Step on a Cascoon and it will hunt you down until it gets you back! Now thats what I call a Pokemon!
Yeah, so what? I can reuse naming schemes if I want!
Rip down PANK trees to get health. This system is as messed up as God Of War's!
I'm like Robin Hood. I steal from the rich and give to the poor. In completely unrelated matters, I'm unemployed.
A bunch of people staring at their own reflections in the lake. Either they're using invisible rods or people here just really like themselves.
Oooh, finally! A city! Now I can heal up, challenge a gym, and... get stuck on more subplots.
Anyone wanna make bets on whether Rowan will pop up somewhere in here? Because I'm betting 1000 on that he will!
Of course, first thing to do in any new town or city is to heal. You never know when a rival battle will show up!
Also, more team switching! Also, I plan on switching out one of my main three soon. I'm becoming too attached to them, which I don't want to do.
No, see, my name is Dude. Its rather odd that you got it wrong, since everyone else seems to know by instinct.
Hang on? Did I read that right? Did a simple mook not try to beat the tar out of me, despite the insurmountable odds against him? Dear gods, this must be a first for the RPG genre! Nay- this must be a first for every sort of entertainment medium ever!
Woo! Finally! The region's bicycle shop! And, as predicted, their slogan is an innuendo.
And now I know what subplot to follow to get myself a bike without paying!
To the Galactic Building... wherever that is.
I TOLD you there'd be a rival battle here! I FUKKEN CALLED IT!
Damnit McPants, you were supposed to battle me. You're making me look bad in front of my audience!
HOLY CRAP, MCPANTS! A STATUE! WE NEVER EXPECTED THAT TO BE THERE!
Cyrus has a MSc in Spotting The Obvious.
Stephen Hawking would like to have a word with you about your understanding of Spacetime!
Yeah... see, myths don't have any truths in them. Thats why they're just myths.
Oh wait, forgot its an RPG. In that case, whatever the myth is, it is 100% true.
I still say he's So Fucking Cool!
Girls GIRLS! I assure you that is NOT what it sounds like! Do NOT start a fanfic on that sentence!
Hard work, love, and dedication? If so, I am so very screwed.
Well gosh McPants, I must've misjudged your intellect! Man, if only I knew that I could win by not getting hit, I'd have won the League ages ago!
Its... umm, its a statue. Made of bronze. Sorry McPants, but I don't see quite the eye-awakening appeal that you do. Although then again, a bronze statue is probably the highlight of your life.
Man, this game sure does love foreshadowing!
GODDAMIT WHY DO I ALWAYS MEET NPCS AT THIS POINT CAN'T I JUST CHECK OUT THAT BUILDING IN PEACE?!
Trainer.
Wait, crap! Do-over!
Seriously, do I have a flipping name tag stuck on my back or something?
Aw c'mon, I already have two rivals. Does this mean I'm going to have to fight you at some point too?
Dear GOD what is it you people and that statue?! I swear, I'm gonna rip out the heart of the next guy to ask "Hey, did you know that giant bronze Pokemon-shaped thing is actually A STATUE?!"
So, once again, a complete stranger decided to entrust me with gifts.
Not that I'm complaining, mind!
And once again, the gift is a HM. Which begs the thought: if strangers weren't so kind, or if another trainer went ahead of me, would I be stuck in this area forever?
Don't all HMs do that? Well, I mean except for Fly, because thats awesome enough for itself. And Defog, which is good because its the kinda HM that you want to throw away as soon as you get it. Sorta like Flash in times when caves weren't made of dimly glowing earth.
Conclusive proof that Cynthia is channeling the spirit of Obi Wan Kenobi. Seriously, how Gamefreak has not been sued for any part of this game yet is well beyond me.
...yup, Galactic's base is located in plain view from just about anywhere in the town. And of course, it'll rely on me alone to clear them out. Because there's no such thing as a "police force" or "militia" on this island.
Either that, or everyone trying to arrest them bumped into this bush, realise that their Pokemon won't do anything at all to cut it down until they see the right badge, were too eco-friendly to just cut or burn it down themselves, and just went home.
I would not put it past the inhabitants of this region to do that though.
Oh woo! I get to battle the gym leader without the annoying cannon fodder trainers that come with! This city has redeemed itself!
But... but you're right here!
How do those random trainers do that "stop a guy in your immediate eyesight until you can fight him" move anyway? That'd be real handy here!
Why does everyone keep running away from me like that?
Actually, a better question is why I missed out on commenting on the massive innuendo there. I must be losing it!
Y'know, I once heard Eterna City was built from the ground up by Captain Obvious. I'm beginning to see why he said that...
Yeah yeah, fight trainers, crush their dreams, and completely knock out all their Pokemon. Y'know, for a caretaker, you're awfully enthusiastic about people spilling blood in your gyms.
I'll give this trainer one thing: at least they trained their Pokemon how to put up their hands and surrender!
Y'know, if levels were inches, then my bird would be rather daisies big! Man, it'd be easy to get with girls with a bird that size! I mean, that bird would be a full half the size of my wang!
Fun fact: Endeavour sets the opponents HP to that of the users.
Funner fact: you can purposefully cause your Pokemon to be low on health just to royally piss off opponents with this move!
Yay! I can use it to cross that giant lake of petals over there! Because heavens forbid that I actually try and cross the SWEET SMELLING FLOWERS! My masculinity could never take a hit like that!
And don't even suggest going through the sprinklers; I already took a shower this month and I don't plan on another!
Ah geez, I hope nobody actually sees me like this! Especially not from an overhead view, for some bizarre reason! I'd never live down the shame!
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Defenestrator2.0
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