Don't Play With Drugs-An Earthbound LP!-Episode 20?!?!?!?!?
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Rinoko
- Shipping Guru
- Posts: 10078
- Joined: Sun Jul 31, 2011 10:12 pm
- Location: Editing the shipping wall
GOSH FREAKING AJKFHBLAFKG
Well, I was PLANNING to start uploading frames for the new episode today, but I guess Majhost had other plans.
[Citation Needed] wrote:your superinsulatory properties have always been a founding tenet of our friendship
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Exeres
- Master of Puppets
- Posts: 23438
- Joined: Sat Sep 11, 2010 10:11 pm
- Location: i'm the only hell mama ever raised
just kidding it's never gonna happen why am i so awful
And now that the competition known as Marcato has been removed, I am free to CONTINUE MY OWN LP!
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
The A in this case stands for Armageddon. As in, Armageddon a boner because this plane has a fucking HOWITZER sticking out of it.
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Rinoko
- Shipping Guru
- Posts: 10078
- Joined: Sun Jul 31, 2011 10:12 pm
- Location: Editing the shipping wall
Which means a lot of work now for less work later
EXCEPT WE'RE BACK NOW SUCKER
Although I think it would be for the best if I took some time to move my screenshots over to Imgur. I think I can upload more than one frame at a time on that site, plus it's more stable.
Although I think it would be for the best if I took some time to move my screenshots over to Imgur. I think I can upload more than one frame at a time on that site, plus it's more stable.
[Citation Needed] wrote:your superinsulatory properties have always been a founding tenet of our friendship
-
Rinoko
- Shipping Guru
- Posts: 10078
- Joined: Sun Jul 31, 2011 10:12 pm
- Location: Editing the shipping wall
Chapter Three Episode Eighteen
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it's new episode time!
....Hmm? What's that, you say? It hasn't been two months since my last episode? Well, how about that. You're absolutely right.
Episode Eighteen: We Break the LSD Meter, Find a Zombie, and Wry Battles Satan
Soundtrack: Oncoming Foe
Hi there! Without any further ado, it's time for a battle!
Soundtrack: Battle Against a Weird Opponent
Whoa, TWO new enemies! Let's hope the LSD Meter can handle it!
Let's start with Fido back there. Looks like we found a zombie finally.....I guess.
LSD Meter: OH GOSH I CAN SEE BONES. GEEZ, THIS IS A KID'S GAME.
Next up, we've got the bee from Bee Movie. Who cares what his name was, that movie was stupid.
LSD Meter: Man, the Cheerios Bee looks like he's tripping just as much as me!
Warning: LSD Meter approaching maximum capacity
I'm sorry, he's a No Good FLY? OK, I've seen plenty of flies in my time, and that ain't no fly. I'm not giving this a free pass!
....Sigh, OK, FINE, I'm not letting this one FLY. Happy?
When you get past the fact that he's kind of completely terrifying, he's actually sort of cute! What's the worst he could d-
OH SWEET MERCY
Wry, that thing needs to take a dirt nap, pronto, if you'd please!
All right, Rover, now play dead!
Good dog!
Hey, you can look, but you can't touch, bub!
All of a sudden, I realize that this is uncomfortably similar to a horrible tragedy that occurred early in this adventure.
Soundtrack: You Win!
I....kind of regret doing that now! I hope the Exposition Fairy wasn't related to that guy....
Soundtrack: Threed, Zombie Central
What's that, boy? Timmy's stuck in the well? That's......actually probably a safer place to be than out here! Good thinking, Timmy!
Looks like someone else wants to play fetch with my bat!
And who am I to say no to such a reque-
WHOA HANG ON I WASN'T READY YET
Oh gosh oh gosh oh gosh
Hang on, Wry, you're not a zombie yet! You still have time to kill it!
Oh man oh man oh man
Come on come on come on kill it kill it kill it
WRY NOOOOOOOOOO
YOU CANINE SON OF A GUN
I'LL KILL YOU
I'LL KILL YOU ALL
I may have won the battle
BUT I LOST SO MUCH MORE
Farewell, sweet Wry....
Oh, great. And now I get to by haunted by my dead girlfriend's eternal spirit!
Or maybe guided by her angelic presence?
Either way, I'm single now and that SUUUUUUUUUUCKS
There is but one hope left for Wry.
OK, technically two, but hospitals cost money and we're on a budget here.
Wry! You're back! And with half your PP gone.....! Yay.....
Well, at least you died before you had the chance to turn into a zombie. And I'm not single again! So all in all, we could be in much worse shape!
All right, let's beat it before more bad things happe-CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAP
Good grief, those things make me nervous now. If it hadn't missed, I might have had to pay for your hospital bill!
It's time to exact your revenge, Wry!
SHOW NO MERCY
I'm detecting a hint of mercy here.
Oh man, I almost forgot that the TOTALLY NOT BEES were even IN this fight!
OH GEEZ THIS IS IT
....Oh. Well, that's MUCH more manageable! As long as it doesn't-
OH DOGGONE IT
I can't take you anywhere, can I?
Hey, you stay out of this, you flying little pest!
HOLY GEEEEEEEZ YOU ARE A LUCKY GIRL, WRY
OK, now drink this and stop dying and/or almost dying!
Looks like I'll have to take care of those gaping wounds myself, though.
There, all better! Let's get the heck out of here, already!
This graveyard seems like a much better alternative. After all, there's just a bunch of trash cans here, and those never hurt anybody, right?
OH WHAT THE HECK
Soundtrack: Battle Against a Mobile Opponent
ANOTHER two new enemies?!?!? Oh, the poor LSD Meter.....
Warning: LSD Meter approaching maximum capacity
Warning: LSD Meter approaching maximum capacity
Warning: LSablfkjhb Metbhglajh approabbjafhbalkfjb maximumbakbjhafkjbh capacacacacacacacacacacity
Uhh.... Let's start with the Smelly Ghost then. Because garbage ghosts are a thing.
LSD Meter: HafkbjhalkgbjhalgagbWARNING
Huh. Right. How about Oscar the Grouch over there on the right?
LSD Meter: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Oh, that's not good....
Screw you, game, he's totally Oscar the Grouch!
Well, since they're lined up in a nice little row, Wry can easily, heheh, take out the trash.
Well, what do you know! The devil-looking thing can't handle a little fire!
Oscar the Grouch, on the other hand....
This episode was brought to you by the letter P, for pain, and the number 911!
Man, Oscar's got a bit of an arm behind him!
And so does Satan, apparently!
Well, it's already been proven that Wry is angelic in nature, so this shouldn't take too long.
But probably longer than I would have liked.....
Not that it matters in the end!
Short-lived, but effective nonetheless!
I prefer a more direct approach, however.
Ha! Wry's taken worse than that and.....OK, well, she died, BUT SHE STILL TOOK IT LIKE A CHAMP.
It's pretty chilly out tonight, Satan. You'd better grab a jacket or you're liable to....
FREEZE TO DEATH
IT'S JUST YOU AND ME NOW, OSCAR
AND ALSO WRY, BUT SHE HONESTLY WON'T BE MUCH HELP HERE
Soundtrack: Ambush!
Well, after that fight ended abruptly due to my AMAZING screenshot capturing skills, it's time to move o-GOSH DANG IT
Soundtrack: Battle Against a Mobile Opponent
Oh gosh, Wry is losing vital organs! We need to end this battle NOW!
I think we'll be OK as long as it's just the ARE YOU SURE THEY AREN'T BEES attacking Wry.
OH COME ON NOW
I'm starting to feel almost left out!
What did I say earlier about almost dying? I'm pretty sure it was that you're supposed to NOT do that!
Among the many uses I've already displayed my bat having, being a fly swatter is something we haven't seen up until now!
Oh, good, I'm included again!
It's hard to believe, but Wry's fry pan is a more effective SERIOUSLY THEY'RE BEES killing machine than my bat at times.
(But only when she gets a SMAAAAASH attack.)
And today's battle was brought to you by the letter B, for bludgeon!
Or bat. Your choice!
HEY COULD YOU MAYBE NOT
THAT'D BE GREAT, THANKS
Since our friend here eats Wry's PSI for breakfast without any milk, she's stuck trying to contribute whatever she can muster with her cookware and underdeveloped biceps.
Holey moley, we are getting too lucky with these fights lately.
I swear, Wry, we are going to have a staff meeting about this later!
But first, let's knock the stuffing out of this Muppet wannabe!
Time to put a lid on this guy!
You had this coming, man. You made me resort to using terrible puns.
Soundtrack: You Gained a Level!
Yay, Wry earned a new level!
Somehow!
Soundtrack: Spell Learned
Hey, and she even got more firepower to boot! Quite literally, in fact!
That last fight was.....actually pretty brutal! I can't remember the last time I had to heal MYSELF after a scuffle!
Wait
Is that
Could it be
Is it really
YES
A ZOMBIE
FINALLY
WE FINALLY GET TO FIGHT A ZOMBIE
I-
Soundtrack: That Was Easy!
I think I'm going to hurt something.
Soundtrack: Battle Against an Unsettling Opponent
OH GOSH WHY DID I OPEN MY BIG MOUTH
I DIDN'T WANT THIS
DSL Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeteteteteteteter: Hello Da-Da-Da-Da-Dave I am hooooooooooooooooooome........
Well, at least this one looks SLIGHTLY more normal than the other one. Plus I don't have to look at it for very long if Wry keeps this up!
GET DEAD
Oh, thank goodness!
Oh, Magic Butterfly, you always know just how to make me forget my horrible experiences here....
BUT THEY JUST KEEP ON COMING
THEY'RE LEARNING
GROWING STRONGER
GET DEAD GET DEAD GET DEAD
WRY I COULD REALLY USE SOME ELBOW GREASE FROM YOU RIGHT ABOUT NOW
Actually, now that I look at this guy a little closer, he actually has a pretty sweet scarf! Maybe he's not such a bad guy after all. Hey, maybe we could even be bros!
OK NOPE WE CAN'T BE BROS
DEFINITELY CAN'T BE BROS
For the last time, GET DEAD
WRY SERIOUSLY
OK, I have had just about enough puppetry for one adventure!
MORE PUPPET SLAYING POWER
Oh yes..... This pleases Marc....
THIS VERY MUCH PLEASES MARC
SO MUCH PLEASURE INDEED
Whatever level I said before was the best level has been officially dethroned!
BEST LEVEL
Well, even with all that excitement out of the way, we still aren't any closer to getting rid of the zombies!
I guess we'll look around this graveyard next. It's the only place left to check!
OH FANTASTIC
MORE GARBAGE GHOSTS
It's kind of unnerving how often Satan and Oscar the Grouch hang out together.
I feel like maybe in the future I should tell my kids not to watch Sesame Street.
Wry doesn't even want to DEAL with the Devil right now!
Quite the resilient Lord of All Evil, isn't he?
Sorry to say it, but this is a war of attrition you're going to lose, man.
I guess Putrid Moldyman and I aren't going to do anything. We'll just let Satan and Wry have their little cat fight over there.
Yeah, this fight is over.
Wry: 2
Satan: 0
Christians: 0
Atheists: 0
Apparently Oscar the Grouch isn't too happy that Wry beat his friend!
Hey, this is between you and me, mister! Leave the lady out of it!
Unless she wants to intervene, of course. I mean, who am I to stop her?
Thanks for the assist, dear!
Hey, you actually managed to get through a few fights without getting seriously injured! Yay for improvement!
I know some COME ON THEY ARE BEES that would LOVE this stuff!
(Yes, the Insecticide Spray does extra damage to insect enemies, like the No Good Fly!)
But not you, Magic Butterfly.
I would never hurt you!
WELL SPEAK OF THE DEVIL
BUT NOT THE ACTUAL DEVIL, BECAUSE WRY KILLED HIM TWICE ALREADY
If all else fails, burn it to death! That's Wry's philosophy!
Ooh.
Ouch.
Yowza.
Just call me the Orkin Man!
(I'm actually not sure if I used the Insecticide Spray here or not, BUT LET'S ASSUME I DID.)
Oh gosh, I think I'm gonna be sick.
That CANNOT be healthy for you, darling.
Well, fortunately, it looks like the COUGHCOUGHBEESCOUGHCOUGH have no follow-through!
Why don't you just throw these guys onto the fry pan, Wry?
Mmm, just like Mama used to make!
I think this one needs to be tenderized a bit. Use #743 for my bat!
I guess this is what you'd call
PESTICIDE
HE'S ON FIRE!!!
Well, well, well! This certainly looks like a party! Let's tango!
Excuse me, sir, my bat was looking for a place to stay for the night and your face looks like th-oh.
O-oh......
U-umm.....
I
I think we'd better call it a night.
OR I GUESS NOT
It would seem our old friends are back to settle the score!
Man, this one could be tricky. I don't know how we're gonna get out of this one-
PSI Fire.
Dead.
Dead.
DEAD
Your friends have failed you, good sir! I would weep at your loss, but-
Or I could actually start crying, thanks!
I'm sorry, Wry. You should never have to see a grown man cry!
Err, I mean a ten year old boy!
Well, now I'll give HIM something to cry about!
I'm an idiot and forgot that the crying status effect goes away at the end of a battle, OKAAAAAAAAAAAAY?
And we're off to the hotel for a well-earned rest! But first, this man, who appears to be having a delightful conversation with this building!
A chick?!? We must return it to the farm at once!
Don't you DARE say anything bad about Farmer Brown!
Well, of course you do, they're adorable and soft before they're old enough to be dinner, and after they're old enough to be breakfast!
Anyway, let's investigate!
Huh. She's a lot less cute and poultry-like than I was expecting.
Wait a minute
It's her
BENEDICTETTE ARNOLDETTE
She's escaping into the hotel! My sense of justice urges me to chase after her!
Uhh, yeah, that's it!
Anyway, we can't let her get away!
We've got her cornered! And only seconds after the chase began! Man, I'm so good at this!
Soundtrack: Heartless Hotel
AHA! THERE YOU ARE!
TELL US WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT THE ZAMBOS
HEY
GET BACK HERE
All right then, let's start over again.
TELL US WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT THE-
Doggone it, stay put!
I said TELL US WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT THE-
Zam....bos.....
Soundtrack: Whoops!
H-hey, let's just talk about this for a sec-
OWIE
good...night...moon.....
thank you admiral
no no i think ive had quite enough martinis for one night
Soundtrack: Threed, Zombie Central
Ooh.... My aching head...and back....and everything else.
Ergh..... Well, I've got to admit, I've woken up in worse places before.
And with worse company!
Rats! We're stuck in here! I KNEW I should have taken that Lock Jimmying 101 class!
Got any ideas how to get out of here, Wry?
....Wry?
Uhh.....Wry....?
You
You doing OK over there?
You're kind of scaring me, sweet pea.
I'll just
Uhh
Yeah, umm....
You
You just do your thing
We'll see if Wry doing her thing actually works in the next episode!
I sure hope it does....
....Hmm? What's that, you say? It hasn't been two months since my last episode? Well, how about that. You're absolutely right.
Episode Eighteen: We Break the LSD Meter, Find a Zombie, and Wry Battles Satan
Soundtrack: Oncoming Foe
Hi there! Without any further ado, it's time for a battle!
Soundtrack: Battle Against a Weird Opponent
Whoa, TWO new enemies! Let's hope the LSD Meter can handle it!
Let's start with Fido back there. Looks like we found a zombie finally.....I guess.
LSD Meter: OH GOSH I CAN SEE BONES. GEEZ, THIS IS A KID'S GAME.
Next up, we've got the bee from Bee Movie. Who cares what his name was, that movie was stupid.
LSD Meter: Man, the Cheerios Bee looks like he's tripping just as much as me!
Warning: LSD Meter approaching maximum capacity
I'm sorry, he's a No Good FLY? OK, I've seen plenty of flies in my time, and that ain't no fly. I'm not giving this a free pass!
....Sigh, OK, FINE, I'm not letting this one FLY. Happy?
When you get past the fact that he's kind of completely terrifying, he's actually sort of cute! What's the worst he could d-
OH SWEET MERCY
Wry, that thing needs to take a dirt nap, pronto, if you'd please!
All right, Rover, now play dead!
Good dog!
Hey, you can look, but you can't touch, bub!
All of a sudden, I realize that this is uncomfortably similar to a horrible tragedy that occurred early in this adventure.
Soundtrack: You Win!
I....kind of regret doing that now! I hope the Exposition Fairy wasn't related to that guy....
Soundtrack: Threed, Zombie Central
What's that, boy? Timmy's stuck in the well? That's......actually probably a safer place to be than out here! Good thinking, Timmy!
Looks like someone else wants to play fetch with my bat!
And who am I to say no to such a reque-
WHOA HANG ON I WASN'T READY YET
Oh gosh oh gosh oh gosh
Hang on, Wry, you're not a zombie yet! You still have time to kill it!
Oh man oh man oh man
Come on come on come on kill it kill it kill it
WRY NOOOOOOOOOO
YOU CANINE SON OF A GUN
I'LL KILL YOU
I'LL KILL YOU ALL
I may have won the battle
BUT I LOST SO MUCH MORE
Farewell, sweet Wry....
Oh, great. And now I get to by haunted by my dead girlfriend's eternal spirit!
Or maybe guided by her angelic presence?
Either way, I'm single now and that SUUUUUUUUUUCKS
There is but one hope left for Wry.
OK, technically two, but hospitals cost money and we're on a budget here.
Wry! You're back! And with half your PP gone.....! Yay.....
Well, at least you died before you had the chance to turn into a zombie. And I'm not single again! So all in all, we could be in much worse shape!
All right, let's beat it before more bad things happe-CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAP
Good grief, those things make me nervous now. If it hadn't missed, I might have had to pay for your hospital bill!
It's time to exact your revenge, Wry!
SHOW NO MERCY
I'm detecting a hint of mercy here.
Oh man, I almost forgot that the TOTALLY NOT BEES were even IN this fight!
OH GEEZ THIS IS IT
....Oh. Well, that's MUCH more manageable! As long as it doesn't-
OH DOGGONE IT
I can't take you anywhere, can I?
Hey, you stay out of this, you flying little pest!
HOLY GEEEEEEEZ YOU ARE A LUCKY GIRL, WRY
OK, now drink this and stop dying and/or almost dying!
Looks like I'll have to take care of those gaping wounds myself, though.
There, all better! Let's get the heck out of here, already!
This graveyard seems like a much better alternative. After all, there's just a bunch of trash cans here, and those never hurt anybody, right?
OH WHAT THE HECK
Soundtrack: Battle Against a Mobile Opponent
ANOTHER two new enemies?!?!? Oh, the poor LSD Meter.....
Warning: LSD Meter approaching maximum capacity
Warning: LSD Meter approaching maximum capacity
Warning: LSablfkjhb Metbhglajh approabbjafhbalkfjb maximumbakbjhafkjbh capacacacacacacacacacacity
Uhh.... Let's start with the Smelly Ghost then. Because garbage ghosts are a thing.
LSD Meter: HafkbjhalkgbjhalgagbWARNING
Huh. Right. How about Oscar the Grouch over there on the right?
LSD Meter: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Oh, that's not good....
Screw you, game, he's totally Oscar the Grouch!
Well, since they're lined up in a nice little row, Wry can easily, heheh, take out the trash.
Well, what do you know! The devil-looking thing can't handle a little fire!
Oscar the Grouch, on the other hand....
This episode was brought to you by the letter P, for pain, and the number 911!
Man, Oscar's got a bit of an arm behind him!
And so does Satan, apparently!
Well, it's already been proven that Wry is angelic in nature, so this shouldn't take too long.
But probably longer than I would have liked.....
Not that it matters in the end!
Short-lived, but effective nonetheless!
I prefer a more direct approach, however.
Ha! Wry's taken worse than that and.....OK, well, she died, BUT SHE STILL TOOK IT LIKE A CHAMP.
It's pretty chilly out tonight, Satan. You'd better grab a jacket or you're liable to....
FREEZE TO DEATH
IT'S JUST YOU AND ME NOW, OSCAR
AND ALSO WRY, BUT SHE HONESTLY WON'T BE MUCH HELP HERE
Soundtrack: Ambush!
Well, after that fight ended abruptly due to my AMAZING screenshot capturing skills, it's time to move o-GOSH DANG IT
Soundtrack: Battle Against a Mobile Opponent
Oh gosh, Wry is losing vital organs! We need to end this battle NOW!
I think we'll be OK as long as it's just the ARE YOU SURE THEY AREN'T BEES attacking Wry.
OH COME ON NOW
I'm starting to feel almost left out!
What did I say earlier about almost dying? I'm pretty sure it was that you're supposed to NOT do that!
Among the many uses I've already displayed my bat having, being a fly swatter is something we haven't seen up until now!
Oh, good, I'm included again!
It's hard to believe, but Wry's fry pan is a more effective SERIOUSLY THEY'RE BEES killing machine than my bat at times.
(But only when she gets a SMAAAAASH attack.)
And today's battle was brought to you by the letter B, for bludgeon!
Or bat. Your choice!
HEY COULD YOU MAYBE NOT
THAT'D BE GREAT, THANKS
Since our friend here eats Wry's PSI for breakfast without any milk, she's stuck trying to contribute whatever she can muster with her cookware and underdeveloped biceps.
Holey moley, we are getting too lucky with these fights lately.
I swear, Wry, we are going to have a staff meeting about this later!
But first, let's knock the stuffing out of this Muppet wannabe!
Time to put a lid on this guy!
You had this coming, man. You made me resort to using terrible puns.
Soundtrack: You Gained a Level!
Yay, Wry earned a new level!
Somehow!
Soundtrack: Spell Learned
Hey, and she even got more firepower to boot! Quite literally, in fact!
That last fight was.....actually pretty brutal! I can't remember the last time I had to heal MYSELF after a scuffle!
Wait
Is that
Could it be
Is it really
YES
A ZOMBIE
FINALLY
WE FINALLY GET TO FIGHT A ZOMBIE
I-
Soundtrack: That Was Easy!
I think I'm going to hurt something.
Soundtrack: Battle Against an Unsettling Opponent
OH GOSH WHY DID I OPEN MY BIG MOUTH
I DIDN'T WANT THIS
DSL Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeteteteteteteter: Hello Da-Da-Da-Da-Dave I am hooooooooooooooooooome........
Well, at least this one looks SLIGHTLY more normal than the other one. Plus I don't have to look at it for very long if Wry keeps this up!
GET DEAD
Oh, thank goodness!
Oh, Magic Butterfly, you always know just how to make me forget my horrible experiences here....
BUT THEY JUST KEEP ON COMING
THEY'RE LEARNING
GROWING STRONGER
GET DEAD GET DEAD GET DEAD
WRY I COULD REALLY USE SOME ELBOW GREASE FROM YOU RIGHT ABOUT NOW
Actually, now that I look at this guy a little closer, he actually has a pretty sweet scarf! Maybe he's not such a bad guy after all. Hey, maybe we could even be bros!
OK NOPE WE CAN'T BE BROS
DEFINITELY CAN'T BE BROS
For the last time, GET DEAD
WRY SERIOUSLY
OK, I have had just about enough puppetry for one adventure!
MORE PUPPET SLAYING POWER
Oh yes..... This pleases Marc....
THIS VERY MUCH PLEASES MARC
SO MUCH PLEASURE INDEED
Whatever level I said before was the best level has been officially dethroned!
BEST LEVEL
Well, even with all that excitement out of the way, we still aren't any closer to getting rid of the zombies!
I guess we'll look around this graveyard next. It's the only place left to check!
OH FANTASTIC
MORE GARBAGE GHOSTS
It's kind of unnerving how often Satan and Oscar the Grouch hang out together.
I feel like maybe in the future I should tell my kids not to watch Sesame Street.
Wry doesn't even want to DEAL with the Devil right now!
Quite the resilient Lord of All Evil, isn't he?
Sorry to say it, but this is a war of attrition you're going to lose, man.
I guess Putrid Moldyman and I aren't going to do anything. We'll just let Satan and Wry have their little cat fight over there.
Yeah, this fight is over.
Wry: 2
Satan: 0
Christians: 0
Atheists: 0
Apparently Oscar the Grouch isn't too happy that Wry beat his friend!
Hey, this is between you and me, mister! Leave the lady out of it!
Unless she wants to intervene, of course. I mean, who am I to stop her?
Thanks for the assist, dear!
Hey, you actually managed to get through a few fights without getting seriously injured! Yay for improvement!
I know some COME ON THEY ARE BEES that would LOVE this stuff!
(Yes, the Insecticide Spray does extra damage to insect enemies, like the No Good Fly!)
But not you, Magic Butterfly.
I would never hurt you!
WELL SPEAK OF THE DEVIL
BUT NOT THE ACTUAL DEVIL, BECAUSE WRY KILLED HIM TWICE ALREADY
If all else fails, burn it to death! That's Wry's philosophy!
Ooh.
Ouch.
Yowza.
Just call me the Orkin Man!
(I'm actually not sure if I used the Insecticide Spray here or not, BUT LET'S ASSUME I DID.)
Oh gosh, I think I'm gonna be sick.
That CANNOT be healthy for you, darling.
Well, fortunately, it looks like the COUGHCOUGHBEESCOUGHCOUGH have no follow-through!
Why don't you just throw these guys onto the fry pan, Wry?
Mmm, just like Mama used to make!
I think this one needs to be tenderized a bit. Use #743 for my bat!
I guess this is what you'd call
PESTICIDE
HE'S ON FIRE!!!
Well, well, well! This certainly looks like a party! Let's tango!
Excuse me, sir, my bat was looking for a place to stay for the night and your face looks like th-oh.
O-oh......
U-umm.....
I
I think we'd better call it a night.
OR I GUESS NOT
It would seem our old friends are back to settle the score!
Man, this one could be tricky. I don't know how we're gonna get out of this one-
PSI Fire.
Dead.
Dead.
DEAD
Your friends have failed you, good sir! I would weep at your loss, but-
Or I could actually start crying, thanks!
I'm sorry, Wry. You should never have to see a grown man cry!
Err, I mean a ten year old boy!
Well, now I'll give HIM something to cry about!
I'm an idiot and forgot that the crying status effect goes away at the end of a battle, OKAAAAAAAAAAAAY?
And we're off to the hotel for a well-earned rest! But first, this man, who appears to be having a delightful conversation with this building!
A chick?!? We must return it to the farm at once!
Don't you DARE say anything bad about Farmer Brown!
Well, of course you do, they're adorable and soft before they're old enough to be dinner, and after they're old enough to be breakfast!
Anyway, let's investigate!
Huh. She's a lot less cute and poultry-like than I was expecting.
Wait a minute
It's her
BENEDICTETTE ARNOLDETTE
She's escaping into the hotel! My sense of justice urges me to chase after her!
Uhh, yeah, that's it!
Anyway, we can't let her get away!
We've got her cornered! And only seconds after the chase began! Man, I'm so good at this!
Soundtrack: Heartless Hotel
AHA! THERE YOU ARE!
TELL US WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT THE ZAMBOS
HEY
GET BACK HERE
All right then, let's start over again.
TELL US WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT THE-
Doggone it, stay put!
I said TELL US WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT THE-
Zam....bos.....
Soundtrack: Whoops!
H-hey, let's just talk about this for a sec-
OWIE
good...night...moon.....
thank you admiral
no no i think ive had quite enough martinis for one night
Soundtrack: Threed, Zombie Central
Ooh.... My aching head...and back....and everything else.
Ergh..... Well, I've got to admit, I've woken up in worse places before.
And with worse company!
Rats! We're stuck in here! I KNEW I should have taken that Lock Jimmying 101 class!
Got any ideas how to get out of here, Wry?
....Wry?
Uhh.....Wry....?
You
You doing OK over there?
You're kind of scaring me, sweet pea.
I'll just
Uhh
Yeah, umm....
You
You just do your thing
We'll see if Wry doing her thing actually works in the next episode!
I sure hope it does....
[Citation Needed] wrote:your superinsulatory properties have always been a founding tenet of our friendship
-
Rinoko
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- Joined: Sun Jul 31, 2011 10:12 pm
- Location: Editing the shipping wall
Probably horrible ideas, but I'm still excited
I just wanted to mention that I have the next eight episodes lined up, and I'm excited to show you all where the story takes us and to implement some ideas I've had for the LP!
[Citation Needed] wrote:your superinsulatory properties have always been a founding tenet of our friendship
-
Rinoko
- Shipping Guru
- Posts: 10078
- Joined: Sun Jul 31, 2011 10:12 pm
- Location: Editing the shipping wall
Then I woke up and got back to work
Hey there!
I know I said updates would be more frequent after I switched to Imgur, but apparently when you decide to change majors, you get pretty busy all of a sudden! WHO KNEW
Anyway, I'm almost done getting the nitty gritty sorted out, and once that's done, I can get back to writing this silly LP!
Once I dreamed of a place where no LP was ever delayed again.....
I know I said updates would be more frequent after I switched to Imgur, but apparently when you decide to change majors, you get pretty busy all of a sudden! WHO KNEW
Anyway, I'm almost done getting the nitty gritty sorted out, and once that's done, I can get back to writing this silly LP!
Once I dreamed of a place where no LP was ever delayed again.....
[Citation Needed] wrote:your superinsulatory properties have always been a founding tenet of our friendship
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Rinoko
- Shipping Guru
- Posts: 10078
- Joined: Sun Jul 31, 2011 10:12 pm
- Location: Editing the shipping wall
Chapter Three Episode Nineteen
New episode! Maybe I'll be more punctual with the next one! I'm sorry....
Episode Nineteen: Kira Breaks Out Of Jail.... Do Not Collect $200
Soundtrack: In Winters, There is a Genius
We now find ourselves in the beautiful snowy lands of.....someplace.
We pass by an ominous looking cave, and OK seriously, where are we?!?
A little help here, please, game?
Ah, there we go! We find ourselves in the beautiful snowy lands of the creatively named Winters!
....I knew that.
Yes, truly this is a land of rushing winds, freezing temperatures, and-
Buildings with terrifying faces on them, apparently.
Seriously, that thing looks like it wants to eat me!
What is this, some kind of prison?
WORSE
MUCH WORSE
Soundtrack: Buzz Buzz's Prophecy
Well, who are these two now?
I might as well pick one of them to portray for the time being, since Marc is temporarily unavailable.
Let's see..... I think I'll pick that handsome stallion of a man in the back there!
Whoa, voices in my head! I feel like this shouldn't be a recurring theme among young boys!
Well, mission accomplished! Let me just go change my pants now!
As you command, mistress. I am but a humble servant of the plot.
IT KNOWS MY NAME
THIS IS MORE THAN SLIGHTLY DISTRESSING
Hey, yeah, that's great and all, but some coordinates might be nice. Latitude? Longitude? Zip code?
Yes OK great I STILL DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU ARE
Points for Star Wars references, but I feel like I could be so much more useful with a better sense of direction than "south".
Welp, looks like that's all I'm getting out of the creepy girl's voice in my head. Let's get to it!
.....Hot dang, I am a fine looking fellow. I think we need to go remind this kid in the next bed of that truth!
Or I guess he's already aware of that!
Fear not, unnamed companion, I just forgot to take my medication and I'm starting to hear the voices in my head again.
At least this time they didn't tell me to cover myself in raw meat and fight bears.
Uhh...... "South".
Sorry, that's honestly the best I can do! You know how cheeky and elusive my hallucinations are!
Yeah, yeah, be back in your cell by 9:00 and don't stab the other inmates, I got it....
Can I go now, MOM?
Ain't no punishment that can stop me
Cause they can't take away MY PRIDE
You look like you want to try to stop me. You know what they put me in here for?
.....OK, it was for tax evasion, but the point is that I'm busting out of this joint!
The voices tell me to go south, I go south.
The voices tell me to cover trees in mayonnaise and sing the praises of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, I cover trees in mayonnaise and sing the praises of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
Simple as that.
NOPE
NO
YOU AREN'T OLD AND WIZARDY ENOUGH FOR THAT EITHER.
So as long as we're breaking one rule, we might as well just break them all? I like the way you think, son.
Great idea. You cover my six. If anyone shows up, make the eagle sound and I'll make a break for it.
CAW CAW
Soundtrack: A Good Buddy
Sweet, my new friend has a name now!
Wait, what do you mean that's not the sound eagles make? Exactly how many eagles have YOU seen, bub?!?
Soundtrack: Snowman(Snow Wood Boarding House)
Well, now that I have free reign once again, let's see what I've got on my stunning bod-WOW this is a lot of useless crap.
(The protractor and ruler don't do anything, and we can't use the broken spray can yet.)
OH GOOD
DEFINITELY READY FOR THIS ADVENTURE
(Kira, or Jeff as he's canonically known, has no PP because he doesn't learn any PSI. He makes up for this by getting powerful special items that only he can use.)
And of course, they took away my "tools" when they dumped me in this joint.
I sure hope creepy lady voice in my head knows what she's talking about.
Well, if I head too much farther south, I'm going to hit a wall. The voices must be testing my intellect!
Let's see if our fellow inmates have any valuable hints.
Come on, man, don't call the lifeguard a creature, it hurts her feelings!
Well, yeah, I mean she IS a very attractive lady, but I'm pretty sure that's not what happened.
Did.....did your parents ever give you The Talk?
Gossip more juicy than her liposuction surgery?
DO TELL
Did they finally ask the Cave Girls to the prom?!?
Oh my word, that is SO. FETCH.
As in, together? Like TOGETHER together?
I can't. I can't even. 100% out of can.
You look more like a Dopey to me.
Well, I must say, it's refreshing to see young people like you taking an interest in entrepreneurship!
.....Wait.
Well, I'd hate to be called a blabbermouth but......YES. IT'S TRUE. THE CAVE BOYS ASKED THE CAVE GIRLS TO PROM.
SQUEEE
Oh.
Well, who cares about that, the whole school needs to know about the prom!
Geez, get your priorities straight!
I seem to recall you've got 10-20 more to serve, pal. I'll wait up for you.
Now then, what's behind door #2?
ILLEGAL CONTRABAND
JACKPOT
Ah, yes, my inside man. Good to know I've got a mate to cover my tracks in this hole.
So the like the Morgan Freeman of this universe. Sweet!
Yeah, I know he works hard for the money.
So hard for it, honey.
Well, in a few minutes here, there's going to be a far more dangerous and handsome one wandering around.
YEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH
Looks like you'll have to fight that other guy for the title.
In any case, that's two dwarves down, five to go!
Wow, that was really generous and kind of you! I'm sure Tony will love-
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Oh man, I'm never getting out of here alive if they catch me with all this!
I'm sorry! The voices told me to do it!
But man, this is a lot of LSD Cookies! Quite the operation you've got going on here, sir!
We made it down the stairs without incident. Security detail is surprisingly loose tonight.
Suspiciously so, in fact.
Looks like there's some WICKED SCIENCE going on in here.
I think we just found out where the LSD Cookies came from.
Don't worry, we get that a lot.
Usually from the ladies, though.
That's right, and tonight, FREEDOM is on the menu!
You'd probably have a bit more success if the government hadn't cut your funding, but once again, STUPID ETHICS has to get in the way of scientific progress.
You know, I tell myself that same thing every day.
THANKS FOR NOTHING, DAD. YOU COULD HAVE POSTED MY BAIL, YOU KNOW.
Another thing I tell myself daily!
LIKE HOW YOU COULD HAVE AGREED TO BE A CHARACTER WITNESS AT MY COURT APPEAL.
I've heard him called names that I can't say around Tony.
Ah, yes, back before they started looking into the "science" of recreational drugs.
YEP OK DAD'S THE BEST LET'S MOVE ON NOW
Dang it, that was one of the words we can't say around Tony! Don't you know how sensitive he is?!?
We're working on getting him past "silly goose" right now.
No, no, don't cry, Tony, I didn't mean it!
Our heroes, ladies and gentlemen.
Soundtrack: Key Item Fanfare
Sweet!
Now let's get out of here before the warden spots us.
There are better ways to ask someone on a date, you know.
Not that I would have said yes.
Ah ha ha ha....ha?
Mmyep, time to bounce!
Rats! How annoyingly sensible of the other inmates to properly and safely stow their belongings away like this!
Luckily, sensibility is once again thwarted by resourcefulness!
That's a thing, right?
Anyway, we'll just fit this key in here like this, and....
What the-
WE'VE BEEN DUPED
EXCUSE ME SIR
I AM DISSATISFIED WITH YOUR PRODUCT AND WOULD LIKE TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER
I hope you're not expecting me to pay for whatever this is.
...Patent pending, I presume?
Well, fortunately for you, your polite words combined with my laziness in finding a more suitable location means I'll be shopping here again in the future.
Soundtrack: Key Item Fanfare
Uhh
IF?
Should.....should I be concerned?
I'm about 98% certain that technological prowess isn't passed down through genetics, but thank you!
Because we all know that science is powered by happy thoughts.
OK then, Round Two vs. the locker door!
Jackpot!
Looks like we struck out with this one, though. There's nothing inside!
I feel at least twice as intelligent and arrogant now!
We're running out of cargo space here. And since we obviously can't get rid of the LSD Cookies....
There! Perfect! Who needs dumb old school supplies, anyway?
(I'm....not sure why I didn't get rid of this stuff earlier!)
Ah, Maria, my old friend.
Looks like your brother took a hit during processing, miss. I'll see what I can do to fix him up.
(I think now's as good a time as any to talk about this. Like Maxwell was saying earlier, Kira/Jeff can fix broken items, the catch being that you have to have a high enough IQ to do so, with each item requiring a different amount of IQ to fix.)
Well, with my gun and hat in tow, I am armed and FABULOUS.
The only thing my ensemble is missing now is SWEET FREEDOM.
The guards must have noticed we weren't there for evening roll call, Tony. Time to hit the gas!
OK, I appreciate you facebattling the ground I walk on as much as any guy, but this probably isn't the best time!
Wait, Tony, no! You're coming with me! You'll never survive in the clink by yourself!
C'mon man, we can figure this out! We can both escape this horrible place!
Quit playing around already! "No more of this slop they feed us!", remember that? We promised!
Sniff.... I guess.... If you've made up your mind....
Godspeed, Tony. Don't let 'em get to you before your time is up.
GERONIMO
Soundtrack: Winters White
I'm gonna miss that kid. Hope they're not too harsh on him now that I'm gone.
Ooh, what's that over there?!?!?
AWW YEAH
Shopping spree time!
Soundtrack: Buy Somethin' Will Ya!
Better put on my new equipment, though. You never know when you might need to get out of a jam after the store clerk recognizes you from the papers.
Is it Juicy Fruit?!? I hope it's Juicy Fruit!
Probably not Juicy Fruit, then.... Sigh....
Dang! I forgot my card back at the big house!
Oh, well.... $2 shopping spree, anyone...?
I have literally been waiting all my life for someone to tell me that.
Bubble gum AND a free monkey?!?!? Lady, you've got yourself a deal!
I can't hand you this cash fast enough oh gosh oh gosh oh gosh
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
DANG IT DANG IT DANG IT I WANT MY MONKEY
Well, this cuts into my potential profits dealing these to a guy I know, but it's for the monkey!
HOW IS MY DOLLAR BILL NOT IN YOUR HAND ALREADY
Soundtrack: Key Item Fanfare
Oh yeah, I nearly forgot I was getting gum, too.
MONKEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You can have all the gum you want if you but ask it of me, O Master.
I don't even know if I'm high or not right now.
And honestly I don't really care.
Soundtrack: A Good Buddy
BEST. PARTNER. EVER.
Yes, hello, what can I buy here for, uhh, a dollar?
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING
Oh, and by the way, I didn't realize this was a Starbuck's. Six bucks for coffee?!?
Hey Maxy, are they out looking for me yet? Be a pal and keep my cover for me, would you?
What are you, an idiot?!? No! That is quite literally the LAST thing I want you to do right now!
GOSH DANG IT ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING
As much as I'd like to, the voices are telling me that break time isn't for several more frames.
I mean-
You've got to learn to be one if you're out on the lam like this.
Yeah, uhh, see you around, you creepy old man.
I wonder if that was revenge for standing him up on that date.
Anyway, no time for that now! Let's hightail it before we get spotted!
Soundtrack: Oncoming Foe
OH GOSH TOO LATE, THEY'VE BROUGHT IN THE GUARD GOATS
Soundtrack: Battle Against a Weird Opponent
Don't fail me now, Maria. You too, fancy hat.
This looks like a good time to test out my latest completely original invention, LSD Meter Version 2.0!
What, you don't think I look like an inventor? I went to MIT before they put me in the slammer, I'll have you know!
Now then, let's boot this baby up!
LSD Meter: That's a pretty sick beard for a goat!
Yes, thank you for your contribution, Bubble Monkey.
Really turned the tides of battle right there, you did.
Thankfully, the goat isn't contributing too much more!
Although my frail young body can't take too much abuse, no doubt thanks to that awful gunk they called "food" back in jail.
Ouch, right in the forehead!
(Seriously, Exeres, bring this LP back!)
BUBBLE MONKEY SERIOUSLY
WE COULD DIE HERE
OW GEEZ OK THAT MORE THAN TICKLED
Good grief, I've gotta do everything myself, don't I?
HEY COULD YOU MAYBE NOT?
OK, time for you to stop moving!
Huh.
Now this may be the drugs talking, but it appears to me that you're STILL MOVING.
GET. DEAD.
Soundtrack: You Win!
Thank goodness. I am NOT going back, unless it's in a body bag!
You hear me, coppers?!? Not unless I'm in a bo-
Soundtrack: You Gained a Level!
Yay, level up!
Let's see some results!
Those....weren't quite the results I was hoping for.
Also I gained another level during that fight and forgot to record it.
WHOOPSY~
You, mister, have some explaining to do!
Right after you GET THESE FREAKING TARANTULAS OUT OF MY EYES
Wow
WOW
Those
are great LSD Cookies.
This ground
is so
WHITE
Looks like this dog wants a piece of me next!
And by me, of course I mean my gun!
Soundtrack: Battle Against a Weak Opponent
I can hear the Sarah McLaughlin songs already.
LSD Meter: From the look of it, that dog is more tripped out than I am.
Whoa, deja vu.
Ah ah ah, not today, thank you!
Pew pew pew!
Breakfast is served, Abu.
And speaking of heroic criminal types being chased by law enforcement....
OK, we are having a staff meeting about this later!
At least now the goat's attacks aren't as severely crippling!
Mine, however, still have plenty of oomph!
Now what does he win, Pat?
EXCELLENT
The boys in blue just don't give up, do they?!?
MY POWER ONLY GROWS STRONGER
You're totes gonna die.
Totes ma-goats.
....Sorry.
Good thing there aren't any orphan children around to make me feel guilty about this.
Look, I've got places to be and you're clearly not getting anywhere with this, how about we give this a rest, huh?
No? Fine then!
At least I offered!
Well, Bubble Monkey, you're adorable, I'll give you that, at least....
YES THIS WOULD GO GREAT WITH MY LSD COOKIES, THANKS
Oh no
YOU AGAIN
I MEAN THIS IS ACTUALLY THE FIRST TIME WE'VE MET SO I HAVE NO REASON TO CRINGE
Soundtrack: Battle Against a Weak Opponent
I have no explanation for this seething rage I currently am feeling.
LSD Meter: Eh, not that bad. Kira hasn't hit the Kamak for a few days.
Wait, what? Kamak...? Looks like the the LSD Meter Version 2.0 has a few kinks left in it.
Well, it would appear that my blind, unwarranted hatred of these things is just that!
Bye bye, birdie!
Look, he even gave me another LSD Cookie after the fight! He's not such a bad crow, after all!
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG
(This is one of the few mechanics in Earthbound I don't like. You don't get to choose whether or not to use a condiment, or even which kind to use. It's all automatic, which more often than not leads to bad combinations, which means no additional healing bonuses. This is why I try to avoid using condiments entirely, they're a waste of inventory space, in my humble opinion.)
Blehh..... My cooking skills definitely aren't what they used to be!
(THANKS FOR GIVING ME THE CHOICE, GAME. AJKFBHALKJHBLAG)
Yeah OK that still hurts a little!
But Maria hurts a lot more!
Oh...yay....Bubble Monkey got a SMAAAAASH......
Well, he killed the thing, so..... Good job today, soldier!
Aww yiss, more levels!
AWWWWWWWW YISSSSSSSSSS
Geez, they have to run out of goats some century!
I'm running out of patience WAY faster than I'm running out of bullets, pal.
Bubble Monkey! You're starting to be semi-useful!
Gaah, still not quite a tickle, but we're getting there! Baby steps, Kira, baby steps.
The fuzz are hot on our trail, Bubble Monkey. We've got to lay low for a bit. This tent seems to be the perfect place for laying of the low variety!
Hey, yeah, that's cool, listen, can I stay here for a little while?
And can you not tell anyone I'm here?
Is....is that legal? I mean, I'm only ten.....
Well, when did I ever start questioning the legality of my actions? Lay it on m-
OH
Uhh
Y-yes, please. Chamomile, thank you!
Yes, I'm feeling much better now that the police are go-I MEAN now that I've had some lovely tea!
All right, then! We continue south!
OR MORE GOATS
Aww, man, you were on such a roll, Bubble Monkey!
Not that it matters in the end!
Anyone else?
Well, this dog seems eager for a taste of what Maria has to offer!
And she is more than happy to deliver!
Bubble Monkey wants to be included first, though, and who am I to say no to him?
KA-BLAM
Precision really isn't your strong suit, is it, Bubble Monkey?
Maria, you truly are my most reliable friend.
GOSH DANG IT BUBBLE MONKEY WE ARE ON A SCHEDULE HERE
OH I CAN HARDLY CONTAIN MY JOY. GEEZ FREAKING LOUISE.
At least SOME good came out of that fight...
I'm quickly running out of south to go to. Looks like it's time to forage for more clues! Perhaps this tent has the answers we need?
OR IT COULD BE EMPTY
Whoa, LOTS of tents! There sure is SOME kind of party going on down here! Let's just hope it's the kind I'd want to be invited to.
I'm starting to get the feeling we aren't talking about the lifeguard.
But that was before the Fire Nation attacked, right?
You know you can take your hands off your binoculars to cover your sneeze, don't you?
And also not sneeze DIRECTLY ON ME?
WHOA HEY BACK OFF
That's MY monkey and he'll get gum from me, thank you very much!
Uhh....yeah! That's right! They hate the stuff! Yessir!
That was close. I just about lost Bubble Monkey to a wandering conspiracy theorist!
You are such a sane individual and I value our conversation immensely.
Ah, yes, the second club Dad formed.
Another empty tent! Where the heck am I supposed to find clues now?!?!?
Oh gosh, I didn't even feel it bite me! Am I going to die, Doctor?!?
Hehe, yeah....
"Luck"....
Come on, there's got to be a clue in THIS tent!
Aha, of course! I can't possibly think straight on an empty stomach!
HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO STUPID
Whoa, that was SOME stew.....
Oh, hello again, strange voice. I'm glad we're friends!
Hey, bossy pants, I'm working on it!
You know, if you gave me better directions than "south", maybe this wouldn't take so long!
SLEEP IS FOR NERDS
But....so is fixing broken things for fun....
Uhh
Filled with a liquid of my own design!
I minored in Chemistry at MIT, just so you know.
Soundtrack: A Good Night's Rest
Soundtrack: Tessie Has Been Sighted!
Ah, what a beautiful morning! The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, the wind....is blowing....
No... No way....
Are you serious?!?
I don't think so, we don't get the paper delivered to the big houseOVER IN THE NEIGHBORING TOWN. Which is where I live. Yeah.
You could try robbing a gas station.
....Just saying.
Record all you want, my friend, they'll never catch me now!
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Ahem. Well, I do believe that's all for now. Come back next time, where we.....keep going south!
Episode Nineteen: Kira Breaks Out Of Jail.... Do Not Collect $200
Soundtrack: In Winters, There is a Genius
We now find ourselves in the beautiful snowy lands of.....someplace.
We pass by an ominous looking cave, and OK seriously, where are we?!?
A little help here, please, game?
Ah, there we go! We find ourselves in the beautiful snowy lands of the creatively named Winters!
....I knew that.
Yes, truly this is a land of rushing winds, freezing temperatures, and-
Buildings with terrifying faces on them, apparently.
Seriously, that thing looks like it wants to eat me!
What is this, some kind of prison?
WORSE
MUCH WORSE
Soundtrack: Buzz Buzz's Prophecy
Well, who are these two now?
I might as well pick one of them to portray for the time being, since Marc is temporarily unavailable.
Let's see..... I think I'll pick that handsome stallion of a man in the back there!
Whoa, voices in my head! I feel like this shouldn't be a recurring theme among young boys!
Well, mission accomplished! Let me just go change my pants now!
As you command, mistress. I am but a humble servant of the plot.
IT KNOWS MY NAME
THIS IS MORE THAN SLIGHTLY DISTRESSING
Hey, yeah, that's great and all, but some coordinates might be nice. Latitude? Longitude? Zip code?
Yes OK great I STILL DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU ARE
Points for Star Wars references, but I feel like I could be so much more useful with a better sense of direction than "south".
Welp, looks like that's all I'm getting out of the creepy girl's voice in my head. Let's get to it!
.....Hot dang, I am a fine looking fellow. I think we need to go remind this kid in the next bed of that truth!
Or I guess he's already aware of that!
Fear not, unnamed companion, I just forgot to take my medication and I'm starting to hear the voices in my head again.
At least this time they didn't tell me to cover myself in raw meat and fight bears.
Uhh...... "South".
Sorry, that's honestly the best I can do! You know how cheeky and elusive my hallucinations are!
Yeah, yeah, be back in your cell by 9:00 and don't stab the other inmates, I got it....
Can I go now, MOM?
Ain't no punishment that can stop me
Cause they can't take away MY PRIDE
You look like you want to try to stop me. You know what they put me in here for?
.....OK, it was for tax evasion, but the point is that I'm busting out of this joint!
The voices tell me to go south, I go south.
The voices tell me to cover trees in mayonnaise and sing the praises of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, I cover trees in mayonnaise and sing the praises of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
Simple as that.
NOPE
NO
YOU AREN'T OLD AND WIZARDY ENOUGH FOR THAT EITHER.
So as long as we're breaking one rule, we might as well just break them all? I like the way you think, son.
Great idea. You cover my six. If anyone shows up, make the eagle sound and I'll make a break for it.
CAW CAW
Soundtrack: A Good Buddy
Sweet, my new friend has a name now!
Wait, what do you mean that's not the sound eagles make? Exactly how many eagles have YOU seen, bub?!?
Soundtrack: Snowman(Snow Wood Boarding House)
Well, now that I have free reign once again, let's see what I've got on my stunning bod-WOW this is a lot of useless crap.
(The protractor and ruler don't do anything, and we can't use the broken spray can yet.)
OH GOOD
DEFINITELY READY FOR THIS ADVENTURE
(Kira, or Jeff as he's canonically known, has no PP because he doesn't learn any PSI. He makes up for this by getting powerful special items that only he can use.)
And of course, they took away my "tools" when they dumped me in this joint.
I sure hope creepy lady voice in my head knows what she's talking about.
Well, if I head too much farther south, I'm going to hit a wall. The voices must be testing my intellect!
Let's see if our fellow inmates have any valuable hints.
Come on, man, don't call the lifeguard a creature, it hurts her feelings!
Well, yeah, I mean she IS a very attractive lady, but I'm pretty sure that's not what happened.
Did.....did your parents ever give you The Talk?
Gossip more juicy than her liposuction surgery?
DO TELL
Did they finally ask the Cave Girls to the prom?!?
Oh my word, that is SO. FETCH.
As in, together? Like TOGETHER together?
I can't. I can't even. 100% out of can.
You look more like a Dopey to me.
Well, I must say, it's refreshing to see young people like you taking an interest in entrepreneurship!
.....Wait.
Well, I'd hate to be called a blabbermouth but......YES. IT'S TRUE. THE CAVE BOYS ASKED THE CAVE GIRLS TO PROM.
SQUEEE
Oh.
Well, who cares about that, the whole school needs to know about the prom!
Geez, get your priorities straight!
I seem to recall you've got 10-20 more to serve, pal. I'll wait up for you.
Now then, what's behind door #2?
ILLEGAL CONTRABAND
JACKPOT
Ah, yes, my inside man. Good to know I've got a mate to cover my tracks in this hole.
So the like the Morgan Freeman of this universe. Sweet!
Yeah, I know he works hard for the money.
So hard for it, honey.
Well, in a few minutes here, there's going to be a far more dangerous and handsome one wandering around.
YEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH
Looks like you'll have to fight that other guy for the title.
In any case, that's two dwarves down, five to go!
Wow, that was really generous and kind of you! I'm sure Tony will love-
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Oh man, I'm never getting out of here alive if they catch me with all this!
I'm sorry! The voices told me to do it!
But man, this is a lot of LSD Cookies! Quite the operation you've got going on here, sir!
We made it down the stairs without incident. Security detail is surprisingly loose tonight.
Suspiciously so, in fact.
Looks like there's some WICKED SCIENCE going on in here.
I think we just found out where the LSD Cookies came from.
Don't worry, we get that a lot.
Usually from the ladies, though.
That's right, and tonight, FREEDOM is on the menu!
You'd probably have a bit more success if the government hadn't cut your funding, but once again, STUPID ETHICS has to get in the way of scientific progress.
You know, I tell myself that same thing every day.
THANKS FOR NOTHING, DAD. YOU COULD HAVE POSTED MY BAIL, YOU KNOW.
Another thing I tell myself daily!
LIKE HOW YOU COULD HAVE AGREED TO BE A CHARACTER WITNESS AT MY COURT APPEAL.
I've heard him called names that I can't say around Tony.
Ah, yes, back before they started looking into the "science" of recreational drugs.
YEP OK DAD'S THE BEST LET'S MOVE ON NOW
Dang it, that was one of the words we can't say around Tony! Don't you know how sensitive he is?!?
We're working on getting him past "silly goose" right now.
No, no, don't cry, Tony, I didn't mean it!
Our heroes, ladies and gentlemen.
Soundtrack: Key Item Fanfare
Sweet!
Now let's get out of here before the warden spots us.
There are better ways to ask someone on a date, you know.
Not that I would have said yes.
Ah ha ha ha....ha?
Mmyep, time to bounce!
Rats! How annoyingly sensible of the other inmates to properly and safely stow their belongings away like this!
Luckily, sensibility is once again thwarted by resourcefulness!
That's a thing, right?
Anyway, we'll just fit this key in here like this, and....
What the-
WE'VE BEEN DUPED
EXCUSE ME SIR
I AM DISSATISFIED WITH YOUR PRODUCT AND WOULD LIKE TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER
I hope you're not expecting me to pay for whatever this is.
...Patent pending, I presume?
Well, fortunately for you, your polite words combined with my laziness in finding a more suitable location means I'll be shopping here again in the future.
Soundtrack: Key Item Fanfare
Uhh
IF?
Should.....should I be concerned?
I'm about 98% certain that technological prowess isn't passed down through genetics, but thank you!
Because we all know that science is powered by happy thoughts.
OK then, Round Two vs. the locker door!
Jackpot!
Looks like we struck out with this one, though. There's nothing inside!
I feel at least twice as intelligent and arrogant now!
We're running out of cargo space here. And since we obviously can't get rid of the LSD Cookies....
There! Perfect! Who needs dumb old school supplies, anyway?
(I'm....not sure why I didn't get rid of this stuff earlier!)
Ah, Maria, my old friend.
Looks like your brother took a hit during processing, miss. I'll see what I can do to fix him up.
(I think now's as good a time as any to talk about this. Like Maxwell was saying earlier, Kira/Jeff can fix broken items, the catch being that you have to have a high enough IQ to do so, with each item requiring a different amount of IQ to fix.)
Well, with my gun and hat in tow, I am armed and FABULOUS.
The only thing my ensemble is missing now is SWEET FREEDOM.
The guards must have noticed we weren't there for evening roll call, Tony. Time to hit the gas!
OK, I appreciate you facebattling the ground I walk on as much as any guy, but this probably isn't the best time!
Wait, Tony, no! You're coming with me! You'll never survive in the clink by yourself!
C'mon man, we can figure this out! We can both escape this horrible place!
Quit playing around already! "No more of this slop they feed us!", remember that? We promised!
Sniff.... I guess.... If you've made up your mind....
Godspeed, Tony. Don't let 'em get to you before your time is up.
GERONIMO
Soundtrack: Winters White
I'm gonna miss that kid. Hope they're not too harsh on him now that I'm gone.
Ooh, what's that over there?!?!?
AWW YEAH
Shopping spree time!
Soundtrack: Buy Somethin' Will Ya!
Better put on my new equipment, though. You never know when you might need to get out of a jam after the store clerk recognizes you from the papers.
Is it Juicy Fruit?!? I hope it's Juicy Fruit!
Probably not Juicy Fruit, then.... Sigh....
Dang! I forgot my card back at the big house!
Oh, well.... $2 shopping spree, anyone...?
I have literally been waiting all my life for someone to tell me that.
Bubble gum AND a free monkey?!?!? Lady, you've got yourself a deal!
I can't hand you this cash fast enough oh gosh oh gosh oh gosh
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
DANG IT DANG IT DANG IT I WANT MY MONKEY
Well, this cuts into my potential profits dealing these to a guy I know, but it's for the monkey!
HOW IS MY DOLLAR BILL NOT IN YOUR HAND ALREADY
Soundtrack: Key Item Fanfare
Oh yeah, I nearly forgot I was getting gum, too.
MONKEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You can have all the gum you want if you but ask it of me, O Master.
I don't even know if I'm high or not right now.
And honestly I don't really care.
Soundtrack: A Good Buddy
BEST. PARTNER. EVER.
Yes, hello, what can I buy here for, uhh, a dollar?
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING
Oh, and by the way, I didn't realize this was a Starbuck's. Six bucks for coffee?!?
Hey Maxy, are they out looking for me yet? Be a pal and keep my cover for me, would you?
What are you, an idiot?!? No! That is quite literally the LAST thing I want you to do right now!
GOSH DANG IT ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING
As much as I'd like to, the voices are telling me that break time isn't for several more frames.
I mean-
You've got to learn to be one if you're out on the lam like this.
Yeah, uhh, see you around, you creepy old man.
I wonder if that was revenge for standing him up on that date.
Anyway, no time for that now! Let's hightail it before we get spotted!
Soundtrack: Oncoming Foe
OH GOSH TOO LATE, THEY'VE BROUGHT IN THE GUARD GOATS
Soundtrack: Battle Against a Weird Opponent
Don't fail me now, Maria. You too, fancy hat.
This looks like a good time to test out my latest completely original invention, LSD Meter Version 2.0!
What, you don't think I look like an inventor? I went to MIT before they put me in the slammer, I'll have you know!
Now then, let's boot this baby up!
LSD Meter: That's a pretty sick beard for a goat!
Yes, thank you for your contribution, Bubble Monkey.
Really turned the tides of battle right there, you did.
Thankfully, the goat isn't contributing too much more!
Although my frail young body can't take too much abuse, no doubt thanks to that awful gunk they called "food" back in jail.
Ouch, right in the forehead!
(Seriously, Exeres, bring this LP back!)
BUBBLE MONKEY SERIOUSLY
WE COULD DIE HERE
OW GEEZ OK THAT MORE THAN TICKLED
Good grief, I've gotta do everything myself, don't I?
HEY COULD YOU MAYBE NOT?
OK, time for you to stop moving!
Huh.
Now this may be the drugs talking, but it appears to me that you're STILL MOVING.
GET. DEAD.
Soundtrack: You Win!
Thank goodness. I am NOT going back, unless it's in a body bag!
You hear me, coppers?!? Not unless I'm in a bo-
Soundtrack: You Gained a Level!
Yay, level up!
Let's see some results!
Those....weren't quite the results I was hoping for.
Also I gained another level during that fight and forgot to record it.
WHOOPSY~
You, mister, have some explaining to do!
Right after you GET THESE FREAKING TARANTULAS OUT OF MY EYES
Wow
WOW
Those
are great LSD Cookies.
This ground
is so
WHITE
Looks like this dog wants a piece of me next!
And by me, of course I mean my gun!
Soundtrack: Battle Against a Weak Opponent
I can hear the Sarah McLaughlin songs already.
LSD Meter: From the look of it, that dog is more tripped out than I am.
Whoa, deja vu.
Ah ah ah, not today, thank you!
Pew pew pew!
Breakfast is served, Abu.
And speaking of heroic criminal types being chased by law enforcement....
OK, we are having a staff meeting about this later!
At least now the goat's attacks aren't as severely crippling!
Mine, however, still have plenty of oomph!
Now what does he win, Pat?
EXCELLENT
The boys in blue just don't give up, do they?!?
MY POWER ONLY GROWS STRONGER
You're totes gonna die.
Totes ma-goats.
....Sorry.
Good thing there aren't any orphan children around to make me feel guilty about this.
Look, I've got places to be and you're clearly not getting anywhere with this, how about we give this a rest, huh?
No? Fine then!
At least I offered!
Well, Bubble Monkey, you're adorable, I'll give you that, at least....
YES THIS WOULD GO GREAT WITH MY LSD COOKIES, THANKS
Oh no
YOU AGAIN
I MEAN THIS IS ACTUALLY THE FIRST TIME WE'VE MET SO I HAVE NO REASON TO CRINGE
Soundtrack: Battle Against a Weak Opponent
I have no explanation for this seething rage I currently am feeling.
LSD Meter: Eh, not that bad. Kira hasn't hit the Kamak for a few days.
Wait, what? Kamak...? Looks like the the LSD Meter Version 2.0 has a few kinks left in it.
Well, it would appear that my blind, unwarranted hatred of these things is just that!
Bye bye, birdie!
Look, he even gave me another LSD Cookie after the fight! He's not such a bad crow, after all!
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG
(This is one of the few mechanics in Earthbound I don't like. You don't get to choose whether or not to use a condiment, or even which kind to use. It's all automatic, which more often than not leads to bad combinations, which means no additional healing bonuses. This is why I try to avoid using condiments entirely, they're a waste of inventory space, in my humble opinion.)
Blehh..... My cooking skills definitely aren't what they used to be!
(THANKS FOR GIVING ME THE CHOICE, GAME. AJKFBHALKJHBLAG)
Yeah OK that still hurts a little!
But Maria hurts a lot more!
Oh...yay....Bubble Monkey got a SMAAAAASH......
Well, he killed the thing, so..... Good job today, soldier!
Aww yiss, more levels!
AWWWWWWWW YISSSSSSSSSS
Geez, they have to run out of goats some century!
I'm running out of patience WAY faster than I'm running out of bullets, pal.
Bubble Monkey! You're starting to be semi-useful!
Gaah, still not quite a tickle, but we're getting there! Baby steps, Kira, baby steps.
The fuzz are hot on our trail, Bubble Monkey. We've got to lay low for a bit. This tent seems to be the perfect place for laying of the low variety!
Hey, yeah, that's cool, listen, can I stay here for a little while?
And can you not tell anyone I'm here?
Is....is that legal? I mean, I'm only ten.....
Well, when did I ever start questioning the legality of my actions? Lay it on m-
OH
Uhh
Y-yes, please. Chamomile, thank you!
Yes, I'm feeling much better now that the police are go-I MEAN now that I've had some lovely tea!
All right, then! We continue south!
OR MORE GOATS
Aww, man, you were on such a roll, Bubble Monkey!
Not that it matters in the end!
Anyone else?
Well, this dog seems eager for a taste of what Maria has to offer!
And she is more than happy to deliver!
Bubble Monkey wants to be included first, though, and who am I to say no to him?
KA-BLAM
Precision really isn't your strong suit, is it, Bubble Monkey?
Maria, you truly are my most reliable friend.
GOSH DANG IT BUBBLE MONKEY WE ARE ON A SCHEDULE HERE
OH I CAN HARDLY CONTAIN MY JOY. GEEZ FREAKING LOUISE.
At least SOME good came out of that fight...
I'm quickly running out of south to go to. Looks like it's time to forage for more clues! Perhaps this tent has the answers we need?
OR IT COULD BE EMPTY
Whoa, LOTS of tents! There sure is SOME kind of party going on down here! Let's just hope it's the kind I'd want to be invited to.
I'm starting to get the feeling we aren't talking about the lifeguard.
But that was before the Fire Nation attacked, right?
You know you can take your hands off your binoculars to cover your sneeze, don't you?
And also not sneeze DIRECTLY ON ME?
WHOA HEY BACK OFF
That's MY monkey and he'll get gum from me, thank you very much!
Uhh....yeah! That's right! They hate the stuff! Yessir!
That was close. I just about lost Bubble Monkey to a wandering conspiracy theorist!
You are such a sane individual and I value our conversation immensely.
Ah, yes, the second club Dad formed.
Another empty tent! Where the heck am I supposed to find clues now?!?!?
Oh gosh, I didn't even feel it bite me! Am I going to die, Doctor?!?
Hehe, yeah....
"Luck"....
Come on, there's got to be a clue in THIS tent!
Aha, of course! I can't possibly think straight on an empty stomach!
HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO STUPID
Whoa, that was SOME stew.....
Oh, hello again, strange voice. I'm glad we're friends!
Hey, bossy pants, I'm working on it!
You know, if you gave me better directions than "south", maybe this wouldn't take so long!
SLEEP IS FOR NERDS
But....so is fixing broken things for fun....
Uhh
Filled with a liquid of my own design!
I minored in Chemistry at MIT, just so you know.
Soundtrack: A Good Night's Rest
Soundtrack: Tessie Has Been Sighted!
Ah, what a beautiful morning! The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, the wind....is blowing....
No... No way....
Are you serious?!?
I don't think so, we don't get the paper delivered to the big houseOVER IN THE NEIGHBORING TOWN. Which is where I live. Yeah.
You could try robbing a gas station.
....Just saying.
Record all you want, my friend, they'll never catch me now!
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Ahem. Well, I do believe that's all for now. Come back next time, where we.....keep going south!
[Citation Needed] wrote:your superinsulatory properties have always been a founding tenet of our friendship
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Rinoko
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Or maybe I'll get suddenly super busy again, who knows
Placeholder post because I don't want to post one episode right after another. More than likely, I'll be able to put another episode out either this week or the beginning of next week. Maybe now that school's out, I can update more frequently than bi-monthly.
[Citation Needed] wrote:your superinsulatory properties have always been a founding tenet of our friendship
-
Rinoko
- Shipping Guru
- Posts: 10078
- Joined: Sun Jul 31, 2011 10:12 pm
- Location: Editing the shipping wall
Not like anyone's going to comment on it anyway
Sorry for the delay, my grandparents' slow as heck Internet is pissing me off and making everything harder to do. I'll get the episode out as soon as I can.
[Citation Needed] wrote:your superinsulatory properties have always been a founding tenet of our friendship
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Rinoko
- Shipping Guru
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- Joined: Sun Jul 31, 2011 10:12 pm
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Chapter Three Episode Nineteen and a Half
New episode is coming, I promise. My grandparents' Internet finally decided to stop jerking me around, so I can actually get some work done on it. It's right here in front of me, as a matter of fact. Can't you see it? It's adorable. What a cute lil' episode.
In the meantime....
Episode Nineteen and a Half: Some Stuff I Forgot to Explain
OK, I keep meaning to talk about this and I then I keep forgetting, so we're doing this now!
Ignore the enemies on screen, this is just where I am currently in the LP.
No, stop looking at them.
STOP IT
Now, let's talk about battle options. There's not a whole lot to it, but there are a few things I think are worth mentioning.
Here we have Marc's battle options: Bash, PSI, Goods, Defend, Auto Fight, and Run Away. I'll go over each of them a little bit.
Bash is your standard attack, and it measures damage from your Offense, yadda yadda, you probably knew this already.
PSI is your magic of sorts, and unless you REALLY haven't been paying attention, you should know that too. However, one thing you might not know is that it's not measured by a stat. Each PSI attack has a certain range of damage(PSI Shippn a is something like 90-120), and certain enemies have weaknesses and resistances to increase or reduce that damage, respectively.
Goods are your items, not much to say here. If you've played an RPG, you should understand this function.
Defend lets you not attack and reduce the damage dealt to you for one turn, but it's usually not too useful.
Auto Fight is a function only Marc has(except right now in the LP when Kira's the leader). It's pretty self-explanatory, you can just let the game play itself and everyone will Bash each turn. Of course, you usually don't want to do that.
Run Away is another function only for Marc(again, except for Kira at the moment). This allows you to, well, run away from battles! It doesn't always work, though, and then you have to sit through a turn of enemy attacks to try again.
Wry has an action unique to her called Pray. Tip #1: PRAY SUCKS AND DON'T USE IT. Unlike Rosa's Pray from Final Fantasy IV, which could only benefit you from using, Wry's Pray actually has a chance to NEGATIVELY affect your party. And the potentially good things it can do are overshadowed by PSI. There is exactly one time when you should use Pray, and we'll get to that in time.
Kira has one unique action, and one kind of unique action.
His kind of unique action is Shoot. Mostly this is just for continuity, since he's using a long range weapon, but I think it also means he can't SMAAAAASH enemies? Although I could be wrong about that.
Kira's real unique action is Spy. Not only does it allow you to see an enemy's HP, stats, and weaknesses, but if the enemy would have dropped an item at the end of a battle, Kira automatically takes it if he has room!
And that about covers all I wanted to talk about for now! See you in the next episode!
In the meantime....
Episode Nineteen and a Half: Some Stuff I Forgot to Explain
OK, I keep meaning to talk about this and I then I keep forgetting, so we're doing this now!
Ignore the enemies on screen, this is just where I am currently in the LP.
No, stop looking at them.
STOP IT
Now, let's talk about battle options. There's not a whole lot to it, but there are a few things I think are worth mentioning.
Here we have Marc's battle options: Bash, PSI, Goods, Defend, Auto Fight, and Run Away. I'll go over each of them a little bit.
Bash is your standard attack, and it measures damage from your Offense, yadda yadda, you probably knew this already.
PSI is your magic of sorts, and unless you REALLY haven't been paying attention, you should know that too. However, one thing you might not know is that it's not measured by a stat. Each PSI attack has a certain range of damage(PSI Shippn a is something like 90-120), and certain enemies have weaknesses and resistances to increase or reduce that damage, respectively.
Goods are your items, not much to say here. If you've played an RPG, you should understand this function.
Defend lets you not attack and reduce the damage dealt to you for one turn, but it's usually not too useful.
Auto Fight is a function only Marc has(except right now in the LP when Kira's the leader). It's pretty self-explanatory, you can just let the game play itself and everyone will Bash each turn. Of course, you usually don't want to do that.
Run Away is another function only for Marc(again, except for Kira at the moment). This allows you to, well, run away from battles! It doesn't always work, though, and then you have to sit through a turn of enemy attacks to try again.
Wry has an action unique to her called Pray. Tip #1: PRAY SUCKS AND DON'T USE IT. Unlike Rosa's Pray from Final Fantasy IV, which could only benefit you from using, Wry's Pray actually has a chance to NEGATIVELY affect your party. And the potentially good things it can do are overshadowed by PSI. There is exactly one time when you should use Pray, and we'll get to that in time.
Kira has one unique action, and one kind of unique action.
His kind of unique action is Shoot. Mostly this is just for continuity, since he's using a long range weapon, but I think it also means he can't SMAAAAASH enemies? Although I could be wrong about that.
Kira's real unique action is Spy. Not only does it allow you to see an enemy's HP, stats, and weaknesses, but if the enemy would have dropped an item at the end of a battle, Kira automatically takes it if he has room!
And that about covers all I wanted to talk about for now! See you in the next episode!
[Citation Needed] wrote:your superinsulatory properties have always been a founding tenet of our friendship
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Rinoko
- Shipping Guru
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- Joined: Sun Jul 31, 2011 10:12 pm
- Location: Editing the shipping wall
Chapter Three Episode Twenty
Thought we were done? Not even close!
Also thank you for 10,000+ views, everybody!
Episode Twenty: A-maze-ing Dungeon Ducks
Soundtrack: Tessie Has Been Sighted!
So....now what? We've gone just about as far south as we can go, and Miss Bossy Voice In My Head seems to have abandoned me!
Soundtrack: What a Great Picture!
Let's just take another look arou-WHAT
UHH
Why yes, I do believe that's an individual I'd like to not ever meet again.
Geez, I thought I was done with fuzzy pickles after I put my prison days behind me!
Wait, what's that in the water?
It seems that Bubble Monkey knows what's going on. Surely his infinite wisdom will allow us to continue south and-
Doggone it, again?!?!? I think it's about time we had an intervention, you and I!
.....Wow, irony. Uhh....here, have some gum and let's not talk about our problems!
I leave everything in your capable, gummy simian hands.
By the way, how do you blow bubbles bigger than your hea-
Aaaaaand he's gone.
Hey, so what exactly is your plan here, Bubble Monkey?
You do realize that you're just going to land in the...ocean?
Uhh
I
This is
Umm
Hmm
Screw it, let's ride the magic sea pony!
Away!
(Tessie montage time? Tessie montage time.)
Soundtrack: Tessie!
(I love this track, by the way. It feels so contemplative and adventurous at the same time.)
Soundtrack: Winters White
Well, that was actually pretty peaceful if you forget how disconcerting it is riding a giant aquatic dinosaur.
Hey, look, we can go further south now!
God dammit WHAT IS THIS
You must have some sick sense of humor, Bossy Voice!
Well, what have we here?
Oh....a free dungeon. My....favorite?
Soundtrack: Apple Kid's Theme
OH
A FREE MAZE DUNGEON
DEFINITELY MY FAVORITE
I DEFINITELY DON'T WANT TO KILL SOMETHING RIGHT NOW
Boy oh FREAKING boy, I can't wait....
Well, at least there's plenty of goodies in here for me to-
Soundtrack: Oncoming Foe
OH WHAT IS THIS DECEPTION
Soundtrack: Battle Against a Weak Opponent
You are not a goody.
LSD Meter: Good name, man, good name. I'm terrified of you now.
Ha! Your traitorous friends have abandoned you!
And now I see how you earned your namesake! This should be a piece of ca-
OH GOD DAMMIT
I guess your traitorous friends finally DID decide to show up!
Oh, for crying out loud, Bubble Monkey!
You're lucky you're adorable and Maria is so handy, you know that?
One grape jelly blob down, one to go!
Hey, you and me both, buddy.
(Seriously, what is the point?!?)
I just....what do I even do with you?
Wait, so was he NOT worthless there for a minute...?
Well, worthless or not, you're about to be a dead grape jelly blob!
Umm, excuse me, my eyesight might be a little screwy, but that doesn't look like dead!
Soundtrack: You Win!
Much better!
And the goodies are broken crap! Today just gets better and better!
Dang, looks like one of Dad's lab rats got out again. Too bad he won't be getting this one back!
Soundtrack: Battle Against a Weak Opponent
I'm having the strangest deja vu right now.
LSD Meter: OK, I can physically feel the orange of that background, but I think it has less to do with the drugs and more to do with the fact that it's INCREDIBLY OBTRUSIVE.
Wait, LSD Meter, that doesn't even make any sense...
Wow, this little guy packs a bit of a punch!
Just goes to show, a little genetic modification goes a long way!
Of course, good old elbow grease works just as well.
And in some cases, even better!
I hate to break it to you, but my science out-sciences your science.
Now that's what I call deadmau5!
RADICAL!!!
Well, on the bright side, at least it's not a BROKEN LSD Bread Roll.
Soundtrack: Battle Against a Weak Opponent
And now we're fighting the Aflac duck all of a sudden!
LSD Meter: I guess it could be Howard the Duck, but I hope to God it's not.
Ha! My inadequacies have worked against you this time!
It's....it's a DUCK. How are you barely damaging a DUCK, Bubble Monkey?!?!?
By golly, whether you want to be helpful or not, I'll not be mocked by a snarky dog today!
Well, crap.
YES THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONTRIBUTION
Now then, let's send Donald packing!
OH GOD I CAN'T TASTE ANYTHING
SERIOUSLY I CAN'T FEEL MY TONGUE
THIS IS MORE DISTRESSING THAN IT SOUNDS
OH AND I ALSO CAN'T USE MAGIC POWERS I DON'T HAVE. FANTASTIC.
(You need concentration to use PSI, but since Kira doesn't have any, this is pretty pointless.)
All right, Daffy, you've had your fun, now get dead before I run out of pop culture ducks to reference!
Looks like that guy
was a SITTING DUCK
BA-BOOM!!!
You know, for all those bugs that like to live in below freezing temperatures.
Scrooge McDuck over there is making me pretty nervous with that cold, calculating stare.
WHAT DOES HE KNOW
Well, now, isn't this a handy little remind-
Soundtrack: What a Great Picture!
JESUS CHRIST
YOU AGAIN
And now we've got more persistent poultry to take care of!
I see that bottle. You get that away from me!
Oh, come on, no need to rub it in!
EAT LEAD
OR NOT
OW GOD THIS IS ODDLY FAMILIAR AS WELL
What is this, an Olympic gymnast duck?
I'M USING A GUN
I can't even criticize Bubble Monkey this time. He's actually faring better than I am!
Well, at least momentarily!
Hey, 2 for 2 isn't half bad!
Wait.
Unbelievable.
I'm getting wrecked by a DUCK.
Time for this to end!
The first person who even MENTIONS Aqualung is banned.
Soundtrack: You Gained a Level!
PROGRESS
I can hardly contain my enthusiasm.
I'm going to kill myself one of these days with the way I cook.
Yes, thank you, Gordon Ramsey! That wasn't obvious!
And yet, surprisingly nutritious!
Très magnifique!
OK, that's it, Santa is getting a strongly worded complaint to the North Pole this year!
Wow, I almost felt that!
Blah blah blah Bubble Monkey sucks blah blah blah
It's like shooting fish in a barrel!
Er, purple jelly monsters in a lovely gift box!
Yeah....
Tenacity doesn't suit you, friend.
But death seems to suit you just fine!
Next....
It seems this little rodent is being a bit greedy!
I'm sure Bubble Monkey will be able to teach him a less-
Christ.
The fact that you actually do less damage to me than the jelly blobs is both humorous and pitiful at the same time.
See? None of this would have happened if you would have shared!
And by share, I of course mean give it to me!
....Sorry, did you attack or something? I couldn't tell.
Man, I could write an episode of goddamn Sesame Street.
This episode was brought to you by the letter D!
D as in, well, you know.
Oh, you sneaky little rat.
You were going to keep this beautiful little number all to yourself!
And yet, I must now say good-bye to my beloved Maria.
Sniff...
WAAAAAAAAAAAA
H-hey you old pervert.
What? No, I'm not in e-emotional distress right now!
Just sh-shut up and record my adventure already!
God I hope I never have to.
TOO MANY PAINFUL MEMORIES.
Welp, that dungeon was a disaster on my emotio-GAA
WHY DO I KEEP RUNNING INTO CREEPY OLD GUYS
Yeah, word of advice, maybe next time put monsters in there that don't COMPLETELY suck.
Oh good! I think we should have a talk about the Zelda series and EVERY FREAKING WATER TEMPLE.
Gentlemen, we can rebuild him.
We have the technology.
WOW OK THIS CONVERSATION HAS CARRIED ON LONG ENOUGH
Hey, better idea! Let's not!
I am locking my door tonight and Bubble Monkey will guard the key.
Don't you try anything, that simian's insane!
Soundtrack: A Good Night's Rest
Nooooooooo thank you!
And now we arrive at cave #2!
It....honestly can't be much worse than the maze!
Yeah.... This is better.
Soundtrack: Battle Against a Weird Opponent
Man, JUST when all those salt packets would have been useful!
LSD Meter: I....WHAT?!?!?
They're Attack Slugs. C'mon, LSD Meter, get with the program.
Oh lord.... Bubble Monkey's actually doing damage to you.
I think you need to go home and rethink your life choices.
But then again, maybe a mercy killing is a better option!
I do this for your own good.
Ha! Your cheap parlor tricks won't work on me!
It's all staged, isn't it?!?!?
I want my refund!
Oh, right.... Money first, THEN shooting!
PERIL AT EVERY TURN
OH SNAP IT'S THE MOUSE FROM THE MAZE
HE'S HERE TO TAKE BACK MARIA 2.0!
It's really a shame he couldn't put up a decent fight, at least. I don't feel like I've earned this thing at all!
Oh, and there was some other thing there that died, I dunno.
Soundtrack: Caverns of Winters
IT'S BEEN TOO LONG, OLD FRIEND
ALL THOSE LONG LONELY NIGHTS IN THE BIG HOUSE WITHOUT YOU
But we ain't gettin' no farther without a little gas in the ol' addiction tank.
Stop me if you've heard this one before.
Knock knock!
DEAD
ALSO LEVEL UP
YESSSSSS
Now I can shoot things with more.....oomph, I guess?
Aww, who cares, the point is I am more deadly! By exactly 3!
And also more lucky and healthy!
Oh god this isn't even fair.
But that doesn't stop it from being hilarious!
Man look at this scenic cave.
I wonder what mysteries the next room will yield?
MORE CAVE
BOY OH BOY
Hey man, my firepower is exactly 3 more than the last time we tussled, you don't want to mess with me right now!
Good thinking, Bubble Monkey! Divide and conquer!
Now I'll just take care of this rat bastard.
Er, mouse bastard.
Whatever.
I really don't know what you were expecting to accomplish here.
All right, you're taking forever, just let me handle this.
GOD I LOVE THIS GUN
And now, back to our regularly scheduled cave!
Because I was SUPER WORRIED about the threatening slugs, you know.
SPEAK OF THE SLIMY DEVIL
I'm starting to actually feel really bad for these guys!
I promise you shall be laid to rest known as the persistent mouse in the history of ever.
And yet, the end result remains the same!
Soundtrack: That Was Easy!
I don't have time for your battle screens!
OK PERSISTENCE ISN'T CUTE ANYMORE
Shoo now, go on!
Working up the ranks, aww yissss.
Well, I must say, a pool of water is a nice variation from staring at rocks constantly!
It's all about the little things, really.
Lucky for me, the prison grounds had plenty of ropes for climbing at the gym!
No fibrous appendages will halt my ascent!
Ah, the spoils of victory!
Let this be a lesson on the benefits of proper exercise!
Of course, some benefits are more emotional than.....sigh.....monetary.
Seriously, how am I supposed to pawn this thing off?!?!?
Well, for the time being, it will serve my purposes.
Aha! More firearms! You can never have too many projectile weapons, Bubble Monkey!
Well, that's what I always say, anyway.
OR MAYBE YOU CAN
Oh, the cartel's not going to like hearing about this.
That LSD Boiled Egg was prime merchandise!
Now then, about my weapons!
I think the LSD Boiled Egg just kicked in.
Soundtrack: Battle Against a Mobile Opponent
More deja vu! Well, almost.... Something doesn't feel quite right.
LSD Meter: OF COURSE this would be the first enemy after eating an LSD Boiled Egg!
What a truly powerful adversary! You might want to step back, Bubble Monkey, I don't want you to chip a nail.
HELLO SIR WOULD YOU SPARE A MINUTE TO LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT OUR LORD AND SAVIOR MARIA 2.0
OW GEEZ
This is what you'd call aggressive atheism!
Aww, man, you were doing so well, Bubble Monkey!
Suddenly the useless junk I threw onto my body doesn't seem so useless anymore!
You'd look so much more attractive with a bit more LEAD IN YOUR BRAIN
FINISH HIM BUBBLE MONKEY
Oooookay then, I'LL finish him!
KIRA WINS
FATALITY
DON'T YOU JUDGE ME
I EARNED THIS
I CAN QUIT WHENEVER I WANT
Uh oh.
This is an adversary I hadn't foreseen.
Luckily, you can call me the Wicked Witch of the West
'cause I've got me a FLYING MONKEY
....Wait, she had a flying broomstick.
OK, shut up, it's not a perfect metaphor!
OK, now just lower the rope down to me and-
Where are you going.
Bubble Monkey?
BUBBLE MONKEY GET BACK HERE
Oh thank god.
Save your pranks for April Fool's, wise guy!
Sigh.... I can't stay mad at you.
I SEE A SHINY
Looks like we're not getting to it without a scrape, though!
And somehow we have the element of surprise on our side?
Hey, I'm not complaining!
Surprise bullets are the best kinds of bullets, after all!
Which is also something I always say.
Yeah, you just, uhh, "contribute".
HELLO SIR WOULD YOU LIKE TO TRY OUT OUR NEW PRODUCT MARIA 2.0
Now that's a sales pitch!
Please, sir, no need to be upset, we have plenty in stock!
Our payment plans come with interest-free DEATH.
Two more satisfied customers!
Plus a small bonus!
Make that a BIG bonus!
Aww, but I want the shiny!
Well, looks like I'll just have to find this "Marc" and bring him back here, whether he wants to or not!
We're almost home free, Bubble Monkey! But first, a quick rest!
And unfortunately, I know just the man to see....
Outta my way, mouse, I've gotta see a creepy old man about a nap!
I SAID SCOOTCH
I can't believe I'm still associating with you.
Since I'm obviously not going to sleep with that creepo watching over us.
Hey, look, I made....a thing!
Well, now, I can think of 101 uses for this, and wouldn't you know it, they all involve not getting arrested!
OK, well 5 of them involve not getting stabbed by the cartel, but close enough!
Will we finally head far enough south to make the voices in my head shut up? Tune in next time to find out!
[Citation Needed] wrote:your superinsulatory properties have always been a founding tenet of our friendship
-
Rinoko
- Shipping Guru
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Yes I chose that .gif on purpose
Aww, come on, man, there's enough Bender to go around.
Everybody loves Bender.
Everybody loves Bender.
[Citation Needed] wrote:your superinsulatory properties have always been a founding tenet of our friendship
-
Rinoko
- Shipping Guru
- Posts: 10078
- Joined: Sun Jul 31, 2011 10:12 pm
- Location: Editing the shipping wall
Re: Don't Play With Drugs-An Earthbound LP!-Episode 20?!?!?!
Tomorrow's episode of Earthbound LP will feature a guest performance by Celine Dion.
[Citation Needed] wrote:your superinsulatory properties have always been a founding tenet of our friendship
-
EleanorSelf
- Posts: 24
- Joined: Sat Mar 19, 2022 8:02 am
Re: Don't Play With Drugs-An Earthbound LP!-Episode 20?!?!?!?!?
Yes, we should not gamble with our lives by abusing drugs or other forms of addiction. I describe myself. I'm a drug and alcohol addict. Thanks to Caron Florida Reviews, however. They have the best clinicians, and they've helped a lot of people I care about recover. I would recommend this facility to anyone seeking treatment. They have actually saved lives and restored peace and happiness to the families of sick and suffering addicts who are now living pop flyin', joyful, and free lives.