TMI & NSFW Thread: Augmented Edition (Heavily Moderated)

[DarkSurfer]

bpner fart

[Sollix]

ive been eating probiotic yogurt lately.

my poops have never felt better. it feels like im cleansing my system

[Gryewolf]

This morning after I finished brushing my teeth I gargled with this peroxide mouthwash stuff and spit into the sink.
All of a sudden I had this long string of flem coming out of my throat. I couldn't spit it up or hack it out, hell it was thick enough that I grabbed onto it and tried either pulling the rest out or ripping it off. But even then it wouldn't come out, I ended up dry heaving for a minute before I spat it out, eugh.
Then I blew my nose and it was all bloody.

It was a wonderful way to wake up.

I think this suited the TMI better than minties.

[Tetrunes]

I keep feeling my heart pound like it's trying to move corn starch through my blood stream.

[Sollix]

Doctor now.jpg

[[Citation Needed]]

Doctor now.jpg

says the person who convinced me she was having a heart attack at 2 AM a few nights ago and refused to wake anyone up for a doctor trip

[Sollix]

I was not having a heart attack it was an anxiety attack >:I

Now look you got D-vid all in a Tizzy. Good job turtle.

[Gryewolf]

Thank god my co-worker finally left.
Not I can take the shit I've been wanting to take ALL DAY
Freedom here I come.

[YCobb]

Recently my farts have been what I can only describe as loud and sharp

It's more satisfying than I care to admit

[D-vid]

I got a headache, stuffy nose, a cough and couldn't sleep properly last night. I think that's a flu.

[Nachalnik]

every once in a while i'll get really sick out of nowhere but the thing is i'll never actually be sick

i just get kind of dizzy and i sweat like crazy and it'll go away pretty quick and it'll be almost like it never happened

i don't know what really causes it either

i'm just glad i don't actually throw up

[Mete]

[Operation Awesome]

It's pretty much the same, just replace "hamburger" with "sushi".

[Mete]

The screeching makes it kinda hard to think.

[luroberto]

Home alone now it's time to jerk it out~