AWKWARD ZOMBIE

hoho

Kira wrote:I am 20 years old, considering dating a 16 year old.
I don't know if should go for it.(this is tmi right? i feel like it is)

I dated someone who was nine years older than me. Difference is I was 20-21, not underage and by law illegal. Sadly, that is something you have to take into heavy consideration. Like Shazza said, there are underage girls who've lied about being raped or molested by older boyfriends just to get back at them. I don't know the chick you're talking about and it's possible she would never, ever do that; we're just trying to offer you caution.

In regards to the actual age difference, four years isn't that bad, but teenage years are very formative. There will most likely be a difference in maturity levels. It might not be a bad thing, but it can cause bumps.

This is something you should take a lot of time to consider. Best advice I can give is to not rush into something just for the sake of being in a relationship.

Think I might have hemorrhoids or the beginnings of them considering it's slightly painful to take a dump lately and it's always in the same area. Gonna try taking some stool softener and also move around just a bit more since I think they're being caused by my sitting on my booty all day at the computer.

I would suggest, at the very least, waiting until she's out of high school, for reasons like IF stated and the fact that 4 years is a bigger gap when you're younger (for instance, a 8 year old has only lived 4 more years than a 4 year old, but has lived 2 times the lifespan of the 4 year old).

Plus, there's likely to be a bit of a... divide? I mean, it's not like you don't remember what it's like to be in high school, but they don't know what it's like to be out of high school and there's other issues with the age gap, kinda like if a high schooler dated a middle schooler.

It's ultimately up to you to decide, but it might be good to weigh the issues. There's always time for a relationship down the line, so don't forget that.

I'm gonna be honest here.

If I hear that a 20 year old was dating a 16 year old, my mind doesn't go to "oh well that's only four years", it goes to "that adult is dating a child"

which is by far infinitely creepier

22 to 18 would definitely be better, with 24 to 20 being ideal. Something about "non teenager dating a teenager" doesn't quite sit right with me. I realize that it might just be society talking, but still.

How many times have people on this forum clearly stated that they don't believe age equals maturity?

It's not about believing all 16 year olds are immature, it's about making the safest assumption given uncertainty. I would much rather assume a mature 16 year old is going to accuse me of rape, and reject her, than to assume "She must be mature for her age" and then end up a sex offender.

It's not maturity, it's legal issues. Even if the couple is fine with it their parents may not be. Wouldn't be hard for a mom or dad to try an underhanded move to break up the couple by any means necessary.

Legal issues aren't in question, and my question was aimed more at Galaxy, but I wanted to take a second to clarify that I'm not advocating dating underage girls.

Adolescence is a turbulent time. At 16, a lot of things are still going to change about your life. At 20, things are more steady.

A 16 year old is really in an entirely different world than a 20 year old. They can be fairly mature, but they're just in a different place in their life regardless. They're still dependent on their parents, and most of their life revolves around high school. Relationships are a lot better when both people are in the same phase of their life and can relate to each other in that way. Someone in high school and someone who's graduated are gonna have a lot of different experiences and may have trouble understanding each other.

My advice would be to wait, maybe develop a stronger friendship with them for now. When you're both in similar places in life, a relationship would make more sense and have less risk of misunderstandings.

Well, I live in Oklahoma. The age of consent is 16. So no real legal issues there.
Just checking on the social equation.
I've actually known her for a while, she is one of my friends sister.
I've kinda always had a crush on her, but never went for it cause of the age difference.

Exeres wrote:How many times have people on this forum clearly stated that they don't believe age equals maturity?

I never said maturity factored into it at all.

HEY GUYS SO I HAD A BIG POOP LAST NIGHT HAHAHAHAHABABAB

Randall Munroe made it pretty clear (your age/2)+7 is the lowest not-creepy dating age. So since you're 20 you can date down to 17 without it being creepy. And thirteen is a bit awkward... Though the older you get the bigger the pool gets =D