TMI & NSFW Thread: Augmented Edition (Heavily Moderated)

[Sollix]

man my period blood got all over my shorts

they were all nice and white

:'(

Soak the in cold water and hand wash them with a little bleach.

If theyre off wight jus hand wash

[[Insert Fail]]

There is a very talkative older woman that comes into work sometimes - I'm assuming she's a bit lonely at home and a bit of an insomniac (hence the 4:00am arrivals), but she will bodaciously stand around and try to talk to you for thirty minutes when you're trying to do work.

Anyway, as I'm walking up to my manager Paula to let her know I'm using the restroom, I notice said lady is chatting Paula's ear off. I feel bad but get Paula's attention by motioning to let her know where I'll be. She nods, I go into the back and step into the restroom and get ready to do mah thang, and everything seems fine and dandy up until I hear the creeeeeeeeeeak of the bathroom door opening and a voice saying, "SO IT'S BEEN A BUSY NIGHT, HUH?" and this lady just STARTS TALKING TO ME while I am on the toilet and I am like omg lady no please stop I am pooping why are you doing this to me

She didn't go away. I am pretty sure I was wearing the awkwardest, most uncomfortable look that has ever graced my face.

Worst part is when I finished and started washing my hands she rushed to get out of her stall so she could walk out of the bathroom with me and she didn't even wash her hands (but she used hand sanitizer???) and

ugh.

[Lotharu]

Hand sanitizer is to washing hands as AXE is to showering.

[Kamak]

In that it's better than not doing anything but still, DON'T TOUCH ME.

[Nachalnik]

I don't know why but whenever I drink fruit juice or some kind of cola my spit gets really thick and i have to spit all the time for like 5 minutes after I drink it

I don't know why it happens either but it's a huge pain when I just want to relax with my apple juice and I have to get up again as soon as I sat down to spit.

[SaintCrazy]

That happens to me too, but I just sort of ignore it. I wonder what causes that.

[[Citation Needed]]

Lost my virginity, technically on rucky day (2:30 AM earlier today).

woop woop

where's that cake picture

[Tetrunes]

Each of my fingernails have a different curve and I am regretting never using fingernail clippers

Poop related: water water every time

[Sollix]

Lost my virginity, technically on rucky day (2:30 AM earlier today).

woop woop

where's that cake picture

Lost mine 3 years ago tomorrow

[[Citation Needed]]

ilu Crisp

[Sollix]

Ilu2 Turtle <3

[[Citation Needed]]

So I discovered I'm not really big on facebattling a whole lot, reaaallly not a big fan of tongues while facebattling either.

[Sollix]

Thats understandable.
Swapping salva can be p.gross if its sloppy and the other person tastes bad.

I enjoy it if those things are not in play

[Trixi]

Wore my flats to placement on Tuesday and now I have a big raw sore spot on the back of my ankle cos they're apparently sharp enough to cut into my skin? I didn't think that should be possible, specially since I was wearing tights and socks under them... Well, I guess I'll not be wearing those again. Can't really wear any shoes without it hurting like a bitch.

In other news the skin problem from before has settled down a bit after a while of abusing the band aids. I can wear bras without peeling off layers. Nearly healed over, I guess. Wish my body would repair itself a little bit faster, tbh.

[[Citation Needed]]

Sort of related to natural healing rate of human bodies:
I have to self-medicate with broccoli. Naturally thin blood. Almost bled out/all over the nurse lady last time I donated blood. I have to eat lots of vitamin K because otherwise my blood flows like water.