AWKWARD ZOMBIE

I was walking through the Student Center today after one of my classes and I ran into some Student Activities Board members.

SAB members: "Hi! Would you like to come to the female orgasm?"
Me: "...sorry?"
SAB members: "It's a safe-sex education comedy program!"
Me: "Ooooooohhhhh."

I legit though this girl was hitting on me for a second (in perhaps the most straightforward way possible).

You would've accepted, wouldn't you?

She was very attractive. So yes.

OH NO
OH NO
OH NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO
CODE RED DICKZIT
I REPEAT
CODE RED DICKZIT
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

how does that even happen

you only get zits on places that are super oily

wash your dick more

Galaxy Man wrote:how does that even happen

you only get zits on places that are super oily

wash your bologna pony more

But I do that already

clearly not enough

Kamak wrote:I'm not well nuanced in the newfangled things you youngsters do on the internet...

but how exactly is a female supposed to help you suck head? If I were in her position I probably would have reacted the same way.

Also, you came onto an internet forum and asked how to resolve the issue. I assumed that meant "holy shit guys, what do I do?" not "Oh I'm handling it, just wanted to mention this."

Nah, I was just relating the anecdote.
Also I was more getting it off my chest to her? I suppose in the event that this actually means anything, then I came out to her first?

Wow now even my coming out story can improbably involve her. She's already been involved in my first facebattle, on account of bringing a boy in a collar (why ???) and making me facebattle him.

TurboPunz wrote:

YCobb wrote:Wow out of the blue, I would kill to give a blowjob

Why is this a thing I want

You know, the past week I've been thinking much the same thing.

Like "daisies i wonder what it's like, i should do this"

Man wouldn't it be funny if by some crazy chance we happened to live in the same state and have similar plans for college

((I'm kidding))

You say that, but secretly it has always been your biggest dream.

Naturally.

but no actually you know, if I had a gay/bi friend who wouldn't mind a blowjob with no strings attached, I wouldn't hesitate more than a few seconds.

Strings are for girls anyway.

YCobb wrote:Naturally.

but no actually you know, if I had a gay/bi friend who wouldn't mind a blowjob with no strings attached, I wouldn't hesitate more than a few seconds.

Come to Texas.

"Hey mom can I fly out to Texas? No I'm gonna meet up with a guy I know there. No I don't know what age he is. We haven't talked. I'm going to give him a blowjob and then fly back."

Foolproof

Let us know how it goes.

Bitch I'm 21.

Which means I can buy you a beer afterwards.

Sounds like a great plan.