TMI & NSFW Thread: Augmented Edition (Heavily Moderated)

[Lotharu]

So the nurse acted like I was crazy when I asked if they had the ability to test for that allergy there because "those type of gloves are hypoallergenic"
I know that, lady.
They referred me to a specialist which I will be going to later.

[Galaxy Man]

"Hey [female friend whom I trust very much] do you remember when I wondered what it'd be like to give a blowjob? That has shifted into a desire, could you help me figure out my sexuality?"
"I'm not giving you a blowjob."

That went a lot more awkwardly than I'd hoped. How clear do I have to make it that I am talking about performing it?
((Posted in TMI rather than awkward moments because that thread is long dead and I have the last post in it anyway))

Very simply.

"No, I mean I want to give a blowjob."

alternatively

"dammat woman i want to suck cock"

[YCobb]

You... probably should have clarified that from the beginning.

Now the spaghetti is everywhere. And you weren't even trying anything...

I'd say to just try to clarify it quickly, so you don't look like you're trying to come up with a save.

It is made clear, did you even read what I said

It just wasn't what she was expecting so it got misinterpreted. And of course I set it straight immediately what kind of idiot would I have to be to let that sit?

[Kamak]

I'm not well nuanced in the newfangled things you youngsters do on the internet...

but how exactly is a female supposed to help you suck head? If I were in her position I probably would have reacted the same way.

Also, you came onto an internet forum and asked how to resolve the issue. I assumed that meant "holy shit guys, what do I do?" not "Oh I'm handling it, just wanted to mention this."

[SaintCrazy]

I mean, if she has the experience she could tell you about it....?

I don't really know what she would say either, to be honest.

[Dire]

In the meantime...

[Exeres]

Your avatar(s) could not be more perfect right now.

[DoNotDelete]

Wow out of the blue, I would kill to give a blowjob

Why is this a thing I want

Maybe you could buy a dildo, Ycobb? Depending on the strength of your deviation you might even want to visit Spoony's favourite internet site: Bad Dragon? No. Don't.

[DarkSurfer]

DUDE YEAH DRAGON DILDOS YOU CAN EVEN AN UNBOXING AND EVERYTHING ITS WHAT THE COOL VIDEO GAMES KIDS DO

[DoNotDelete]

Spoony rates them highly and I'm reliably informed the man knows what he's talking about.

[DarkSurfer]

he's like a professor of dragon dildoes

[Silver_Wolf]

At the college of sex and department of strange sex toys?

[SaintCrazy]

Ph. D.

guess what the D stands for

[Gryewolf]

Dire?

[Galaxy Man]

Diligence?