The Dating Stories/Progress thread

[Omnithea]

A relationship where the members want different things is going to self destruct.

[[Citation Needed]]

I never understood the ancient bullshit saying of opposites attract. (in terms of relationships)


No they fucking don't

I've met my polar opposite in several people on several different occasions
and each time I've wanted to set them on fire and run them over

[Cynical Slob]

yeah i was thinking of cutting it, actually. thanks for the support.

[[Insert Fail]]

Is this a strictly friends-with-benefits situation or was this a relationship that degraded into just sex?

Either way, if two people want different things you should either talk it out and come to some sort of middle ground, or (like others have mentioned) you should break ties. It's not fair to yourself to put yourself in an unsatisfying relationship. Sex is nice, but intimacy is fulfilling. A recurring theme in friends' FWBs relationships is that they often end after a few months because the sex starts to feel hollow and mechanic, and if they're seeing other people on the side the relations can feel very impersonal. That might be what you're feeling?

[Reyo]

Posting this here for both thread revival, and because the issue fits this toic more than it would the "Things that piss you off" section.

One of my friends from high school who I've managed to maintain a working friendship with even in college has many hobbies that include "less than legal" activities of a slightly illicit nature...

I don't judge, I just don't partake. Anyway, any time he has a girlfriend, it seems he does his damndest to keep it a secret. It tends to get awkward when I just casually mention said activities and he starts freaking out that she's in the room. These usually don't get much farther than "well shit bro I didn't know" "s'ok man, you didn't know".

This became a bit of a complicated situation over our recent hangout session when said said activities came up in a setting of "hey, wanna do it!" Here's the thing though, she was 100% perfectly fine with it. No hesitation whatsoever, but my high school friend starts to get passive aggressively angry at the idea of her doing said activities. Before I thought it was just his insecurity that she might freak out that he's doing illicit substances, but then he would've been pop flyin' that she didn't seem to give any shits whatsoever when it was brought out. Later on I learned that it isn't even that illicit activity, but includes whenever she drinks or smokes, two very legal things, that he tends to get angry whenever it's either brought up as an activity he has done, and she could potentially do.

This just...confuses the hell out of me...

PS it's weed

[Nachalnik]

Tuxedo Mask dumped me this morning. It turns out he's had a girlfriend all this time so he's been cheating on me too.

He only said the other day that he loved me and he wanted us to live together so on top of all that I feel like I've been lied to for god knows how long as well.

I want to cry but I just feel really numb.

I really don't know what's going to happen now.

[Omnithea]

I'm sorry, Nach. You acted on good faith, some people are just trash.


But, hey, if the other girl's a decent person...maybe she deserves to know as well?

[Nachalnik]

I don't know the other woman. Apparently she's someone who lives in the same village as him. He says he's going to tell her but I don't see why I should believe that.

Tuxedo Mask rarely told me he loved me and now I know why. We just joked he was really shy and "tusundre" but I know why now.

[Kamak]

I'm not sure he would let his two girlfriends communicate with each other, just in case.

But yeah, that sucks Nacha. One of my friends went through something similar to that, only we all knew he was a dirtbag from the get go. Some people are terrible like that and you can never tell. Hopefully, in time, you'll be able to move past this.

[Nachalnik]

I hope so. I don't feel as bad as I did this morning but I don't know if that's just like shock setting in or something.

This really explains why he didn't want me to tell his brother or any of his friends I was going out with him because they would of known the other girlfriend.

Actually maybe I'm not so upset about this like I was earlier because I just realised this is the same man who completely blocked me out of his life for over 4 years before. He really avoided me for 4 years. We dated when we were like 14 and then I didn't hear from him for 4 years.

I just wrote that off as a "kids are stupid and immature" thing but now it really explains a lot.

Unfortunately I'm going to have to explain all this to my parents since he was meant to be visiting this summer and now they'll be wondering why he isn't coming anymore.... At least I don't think he's coming. He says he wants to be friends but if he thinks he's coming up to visit anytime soon he can fuck off because I'm not ready for that yet.

[Nachalnik]

i thought i was doing alright but i've been crying on and off for ages now and i really have no idea how to explain any of this to my parents

[Dire]

Tell them the truth, you don't have the energy for thinking up excuses with this crap going on.

Furthermore if that guy wants to be friends he can piss right off. Much easier to burn bridges than to fix 'em. Specially if they're made of straw (and bullshit).

I dunno if I come across as harsh, but I just reckon dirt-bags gotta be left in the dirt.

[Nachalnik]

i'm going to e-mail them because i can't go through this by myself and i'm too ashamed to tell them face-to-face

[The Nightman]

What I don't get is how some people think they can keep something like that a secret. It's hard enough for me to keep my classwork from getting mixed up, it must be hella hard keeping two people away from each other.

[Nachalnik]

Well he lives in Wales and I live in Scotland and this other girl lives in the same town as he does as far as i know so that's how he managed to keep it a secret for so long.