AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Posted: **Wed May 01, 2013 3:20 am**

i was like "hell yeah, talked to my parents, managed to go to the college i want and they aren't even kicking me out of the house"

then i realized that that merited a 'hell yeah' for me

then i was sad again

Posted: **Wed May 01, 2013 4:28 am**

Are you kidding? Those are great things to be proud of. You're one of the lucky few to go to college in the first place, and not everybody has parents that care enough to let their kids stick around.

Posted: **Wed May 01, 2013 4:35 am**

Uh, Saint, banter's post is in relation to things happening at home that I've kinda mentioned for her before.

Kamak wrote:All of my friends lives seem to be in a lot of turmoil, but one of my friends is going through a lot of shit right now banter on AZ, so shhhh, I didn't tell you guys.

Her dad called her today to tell her that the family plans to disown her on her 18th birthday because she's not worth shit and she'll never be worth shit without them being around, and if she wants to stay in the family she better "get her shit together".

She turns 18 in 11 days, and she graduates in June. This bullshit with her parents has been mounting for years, with shit like her mom casually mentioning how she'll never attract boys and them denying that she has depression because everyone in their family pulls up their pants and "gets over" their problems.

We're planning to try to get some people to take her away to live with them for the summer until college, but it's going to be touch and go between her birthday and the end of school, and this could just be a "lol, you took us seriously? What the fuck? We're HURT that you would think that of us, you fucking bitch" kinda thing.

Just... God fucking daisies you assholes. You are amongst the shittiest parents I've ever known outside of fiction and demonstrable physical abuse. If I ever meet you in real life, I would tear into you fuckers until my voice gave out. You're fucking up a wonderful person with expectations and bullshit doublethink shenanigans all because you're frustrated that your other kids are fucked up because, SURPRISE, you're the shittiest and most bumfucking idiotic people to be put in charge of raising kids. You care more about your image than how your kids are mentally, and while my mom does that to some extent, she still fucking cares about me and puts my needs mainly ahead of the facade she tries to craft.

You can go fuck yourselves with the coldest prick in the universe.

TL;DR, her parents are fucking crazy manipulative bastards that pulled all of this because they didn't like her choice of college to go to, and this is actually good news in regards to their typical behavior, but it shouldn't be because parents shouldn't be this booty backwards over simple shit.

Posted: **Wed May 01, 2013 4:36 am**

my fake internet name is banter and i approve this message

Posted: **Wed May 01, 2013 12:32 pm**

i told my old boyfriend how i've been feeling lately because i trust him and he knows me better than anybody else

he jokingly(?) told me off for making him feel bad after reading my e-mail and then he told me i wanted to kill myself because i'm bored and because i do the same things everyday and i should try to do something different and if that doesn't work i should go travelling because if i really want to kill myself i should do something fun first

i think i just feel more upset now

Posted: **Wed May 01, 2013 1:05 pm**

His advice is practical I'll give him that.

Posted: **Wed May 01, 2013 3:05 pm**

I went out to see if I would feel better but I just started bawling and now I feel worse than before

Posted: **Wed May 01, 2013 4:08 pm**

His advice is actually rather logical

You're stuck in a rut, and you seem rather hesitant to get yourself out, for whatever reason.
You seem to feel like it's better to sit there and do nothing about your situation, instead of actually trying to face it. You need to be doing the opposite of that, you need to be looking for ways to get out of your completely abusive family, you need to find a job, you need to get interests and start doing things. That's how you face depression, and that's how you overcome it.

Doing nothing is just making your situation worse, not to mention how bad it is mentally. You can complain about a situation forever but it won't fix itself, you have to fix it. Regardless of if you want to actually fix it, the fact is if you keep doing nothing and stay in this same mental pit you have been for so long, you will stay depressed and uninterested in things.

You have to put yourself in a good mood. Nobody else can do that for you.

Posted: **Wed May 01, 2013 4:33 pm**

i'm not sad he's telling me to do things i'm sad he told me off and said if i decide to kill myself to travel first even if he was joking

Posted: **Wed May 01, 2013 4:37 pm**

but that's something you should do

if it really gets to the point where you want to die that is by far the point when you should do whatever you can to break out of your circumstances and try to get better
shit you should be doing so before that point is even reached

Posted: **Wed May 01, 2013 4:39 pm**

Yes! Getting out should be your first priority

Posted: **Wed May 01, 2013 10:00 pm**

update from my post last page:

haha just kidding i might end up kicked out onto the streets

i'm a kid with no job experience and not many strong RL relationships

goodbye food and shelter i loved having you, it's been a nice 18 years of not starving on the streets.

Posted: **Wed May 01, 2013 10:35 pm**

Your parents are bodaciously shit.

Let me provide proof:

[4:18:08 PM] missy mope: oh fuck no
[4:18:30 PM] missy mope: my dad is skyping me telling me that i made the wrong college decision and i'm not gonna have enough cheddar to feed myself and i'm gonna starve on the streets
[4:18:41 PM] bitchpants: your dad is being a little shit
[4:18:43 PM] bitchpants: ignore him
[4:18:44 PM] hermit gal: block him
[4:18:56 PM] bitchpants: he's acting like a child
[4:18:58 PM] missy mope: i have a long weekend starting tomorrow
[4:19:01 PM] missy mope: i bodaciously have to go home
[4:19:19 PM] hermit gal: nah, kidnap the dog and run away
[4:19:20 PM] missy mope: [4:16 PM] bob[REDACTED]:

<<< I just want you to understand what you have gotten yourself into. I am dissapointed that we did not raise you to understand the value of cheddar. $30,000 is a s#*t load of cheddar and you think it is nothing. You will just worry about it later. All that matters is the short term.
[4:19:36 PM] bitchpants: he censored shit
[4:19:55 PM] bitchpants: anyway
[4:20:06 PM] bitchpants: he's being a brat because you're not doing what he wants you to do
[4:20:10 PM] hermit gal: tell him he's a shithead and a bad parent, signed with love, the internet
[4:20:38 PM] missy mope: i told him my RCs said 30k is standard for college debt and he said that since the RCs don't really make that much cheddar their opinion doesn't mean shit
[4:20:45 PM] bitchpants: wow
[4:21:14 PM] bitchpants: just, don't listen to what he's saying
[4:21:21 PM] missy mope: the problem with talking to my parents is that
i'm 18 now
[4:21:25 PM] missy mope: they can kick me out at any second
[4:21:32 PM] missy mope: well, practically 18
[4:23:27 PM] missy mope: i could bodaciously wake up one day on the weekend and be thrown onto the streets in seconds
[4:41:22 PM] missy mope: oh hell no, then my mom called me and i had to argue with both parents at once
[4:41:39 PM] missy mope: my mom says the only reason she's still gonna feed me and provide housing is because she feels obliged to as a parent
[4:42:04 PM] missy mope: but that i'm not invited to family holidays, or vacations, and also my graduation party is canceled
[4:43:01 PM] missy mope: also i have no financial support from them anymore, not even like, birthday cheddar

[4:43:59 PM] missy mope: also my mom screamed about how grinnell is a school for liberal hippies and she's disgusted that her daughter grew up to be a filthy liberal
[4:45:40 PM] missy mope: and about how i'm their child and so i need to listen to what they say and i can't just disobey them
[4:45:59 PM] missy mope: and also they're trying to get my RA's in trouble for comforting me when i was miserable over this shit.
[4:46:04 PM] hermit gal: do they know you're a human being free to make choices and not some pet they can shove around
[4:46:09 PM] missy mope: they are bodaciously contacting the school to get my RAs in trouble

[4:46:17 PM] missy mope: because they reassured me when i was freaking the fuck out
[4:46:26 PM] missy mope: because they think my RAs are siding with me against them
[4:46:41 PM] hermit gal: HOW DARE YOU COMFORT OUR CHILD WE HAVE EMOTIONALLY NEGLECTED
[4:47:31 PM] missy mope: [4:46 PM] bob[REDACTED]:

<<< You do not consider anything we say. You have always been stubborn. We do not want you to blindly obey. You just always discount any advice we may give you.
[4:50:05 PM] missy mope: [4:49 PM] bob[REDACTED]:

<<< You always choose to reject our advice. Studying, going out with friends, not sitting all day on the computer, being an active and contributing part of the family. When have you made and effort to spend time with your mother or me? Always in your room...

[4:56:01 PM] missy mope: but yeah, update, i may actually end up disowned
[4:56:37 PM] bitchpants: amanda, i would recommend that the moment you don't have any reason to need to rely on your parents that you tell them off
[4:57:21 PM | Edited 4:57:40 PM] missy mope: i'm scared guys
[4:57:27 PM | Edited 4:57:44 PM] missy mope: i don't wanna end up on the streets
[4:57:59 PM] hermit gal: amanda you'll be fine, ffs, you'll always have one of us to take you in
[4:58:12 PM] missy mope: you're halfway across the country
[4:58:17 PM] missy mope: i might be homeless /tomorrow/
[4:58:21 PM] hermit gal: i said one of us, not me specifically
[4:58:31 PM] missy mope: all of you are like halfway across the country
[4:58:45 PM] missy mope: to be fair i can probably stay a few days with my roommate if i need to
[4:58:51 PM] hermit gal: is it somehow impossible for you to stay with a neighbor or something
[4:59:23 PM] missy mope: i don't know my neighbors that well
[4:59:26 PM] bitchpants: i'm pretty sure they'd let you stay for more than a few days
[4:59:40 PM] bitchpants: at least until you find someone else to stay with
[4:59:55 PM] missy mope: i could probably stay with my grandma
[4:59:57 PM] missy mope: she leaves near-ish
[5:00:07 PM] missy mope: and has extra beds in the house
[5:01:07 PM | Edited 5:01:11 PM] bitchpants: i just can't believe how much they're reacting to this shit
[5:01:17 PM] bitchpants: and you know what else?
[5:01:50 PM | Edited 5:01:54 PM] bitchpants: they said you had a "choice" and basically cornered you with "GO TO FUCKING VANDERBILT"
and the moment you actually choose for yourself they fucking explode
[5:02:07 PM] bitchpants: i just want to grab them and shake them and scream at them
[5:02:11 PM] bitchpants: who the fuck does that
[5:02:31 PM | Edited 5:02:34 PM] bitchpants: that wasn't very clear
[5:02:44 PM] bitchpants: but to be fair i'm kind of incoherent anyway
[5:02:44 PM] missy mope: basically
[5:02:53 PM] missy mope: they called me as bad as my brothers
[5:02:55 PM] missy mope: and that just
[5:02:55 PM] missy mope: ouch
[5:02:58 PM] bitchpants: what
[5:03:21 PM] bitchpants: brb going to illinois to choke a bitch

[5:05:59 PM] bitchpants: your parents are just really terrible
[5:06:44 PM] hermit gal: your parents are bodaciously shit
[5:06:45 PM] missy mope: contemplating signing off skype to escape dad
[5:06:52 PM] hermit gal: just set yourself to invisible
[5:07:00 PM] bitchpants: he'd see that she's recieving messages
[5:07:01 PM] missy mope: hey chimera what did shit do to deserve that comparison
[5:07:08 PM] hermit gal: good point
[5:07:13 PM] hermit gal: on both accounts
[5:07:15 PM] missy mope: but if i go off skype he'll call me
[5:07:19 PM] missy mope: on the phone
[5:07:23 PM] hermit gal: turn off your daisies phone
[5:07:23 PM] bitchpants: hmm
[5:07:31 PM] missy mope: room phone
[5:07:33 PM] missy mope: doesn't turn off
[5:07:37 PM] hermit gal: pull it
[5:07:44 PM] bitchpants: i don't think she can
[5:07:55 PM] bitchpants: she'd probably get in trouble with the school or something
[5:08:03 PM] hermit gal: leave it off the hook? :V
[5:08:29 PM] bitchpants: i'd say "ask the RA for advice" but that doesn't seem like a good idea given that they're going after the RAs for helping you
[5:08:54 PM] hermit gal: your parents are encouraging RAs not to care by doing this shit
[5:11:40 PM] missy mope: oh god noooo
[5:11:50 PM] missy mope: my dad brought up the 'disrespecting your dead family members' thing
[5:11:55 PM] bitchpants: oh my god
[5:12:16 PM] missy mope: brb, i guess i have dishonored the [REDACTED] clan and must now commit seppuku
[5:12:27 PM] bitchpants: don't you mean sudoku
[5:12:46 PM] hermit gal: they're dead
why should they care about honor :V
[5:12:51 PM] missy mope: [5:12 PM] bob[REDACTED]:

<<< 30K is more than a new car. It is about 1/4 the cost of a condo. About 1/6 the cost of a small home.
[5:12:55 PM] missy mope: dad shut up
[5:13:23 PM] bitchpants: college costs more than a new car
wow man
genius
[5:13:53 PM] missy mope: i pointed out something to that effect
[5:13:54 PM] missy mope: [5:13 PM] bob[REDACTED]:

<<< When you don't have to have the debt it is. College debt is a big problem for graduating students.
[5:13:56 PM] cheerleader: ok, asking people here at the circle
[5:14:03 PM] cheerleader: being 30k in debt after college is nothing
[5:14:22 PM] missy mope: my dad keeps pointing out that i didn't /need/ to have any college debt though
[5:14:30 PM] bitchpants: that's too easy
[5:14:51 PM] hermit gal: you're amanda
you gotta do the EXTREME
your dad is a PUSSY
[5:14:53 PM] missy mope: guys my mom lengthened my vanderbilt commitment time period
i could still go to vandy
[5:15:06 PM] missy mope: i might just because i'm FUCKING SICK OF THIS
[5:15:16 PM] hermit gal: don't give in to them
[5:15:24 PM] hermit gal: if you give in now they'll just keep trying shit like this
[5:15:27 PM] missy mope: but i'm sick of this
[5:15:29 PM] missy mope: i'm so fucking sick of this
[5:15:33 PM] missy mope: and i don't wanna be homeless
[5:15:35 PM] hermit gal: do you want them to decide where you work too
[5:15:35 PM] missy mope: maybe they're right
[5:15:41 PM] missy mope: maybe they're fucking right about college debt
[5:15:50 PM] missy mope: i could leave college debt-free and with a lot of my savings left
[5:16:09 PM] hermit gal: but would you be pop flyin'
[5:16:27 PM] missy mope: maybe i'd find a way?

But at least you're fighting back:

[5:19:29 PM] missy mope: [5:18 PM] missy mope:

<<< So I can't give in and go to Vandy, but if I keep wanting to go to Grinnell it just makes you angrier.
I'm really not seeing what you want out of me here, Dad.basically me right now
[5:20:26 PM] missy mope: [5:20 PM] missy mope:

<<< dad all you are doing is deliberately making your own daughter miserable
at any point in this have you looked at yourself and gone "huh, maybe as a parent i'm not supposed to be doing that?"

Give em hell. There's a lot of people standing behind you.

[5:26:59 PM] missy mope: oh hell no
in response to my "dad you're not supposed to deliberately be making me feel miserable, as a parent" remark my dad pulled out the "well i could be physically harming you, so you're pretty lucky" card

And whoops, resorting to thinly veiled threats/"WE COULD BE WORSE". Jesus Christ.

I wish I could do more for you, man. :I

EDIT: Also, forgot that they got mad at her for posting about her decision on Facebook, and got even more mad at family members for congratulating her and wishing her well.

Fucking hell, let people be pop flyin' for her if they want to you goddamn motherfuckers.

Posted: **Wed May 01, 2013 10:57 pm**

Hmm.

It may be smart to look into your resources and be realistic.
I'm not saying "give up on your college dreams", I'm saying that if your parents will give you zero financial support, and you cannot afford to go to college on your own, you're going to have a problem. You need a plan in case they don't come around.

Start looking into jobs now in case you DO need to support yourself. It sounds scary to just jump in like that, but you are 18. You are an adult now. Some people have an easier time being guided into the adult world but if your parents are acting like this, you need to be able to say "So be it, you don't have any control over me." As of now, they do, because you don't have any financial support yourself. Even a minimum-wage job lessens the hold they have over you.

I would hope you've already looked into financial aid. In fact, it may be wise to contact a financial advisor and tell them about your situation; you really want to go there, but you're having problems getting support. They might be able to help you in some way.

The sooner you can find ways to seperate yourself from them, the better. And once you're away at college (Whenever that happens) you can have as little (if any) contact with them as you want.

Posted: **Wed May 01, 2013 10:57 pm**

If the only reason they're beating her up is over college debt, then that's ridiculous. While college debt can be a very bad thing (it takes most students years to get out from under it - sometimes as long as 10 years), it's not an excuse to fricking abusing their daughter.

If you're concerned about debt, get scholarships, federal aid, and a part time job to lessen the costs initially, so the loans aren't as high. Some schools allow you to go to community college for basic things like math and English, then transfer the credits in to save cheddar. I'm simplifying things, but there are definitely other options than just "college = DEBT FOREVER."

From my perspective, this just looks like a control issue. The parents are trying to control her. And for that reason she should definitely stick to her guns. Being kicked out of the house is an extremely scary prospect, I'll grant that, but the fact that several people know of her plight and are involved means there are people who are willing to help her. (Plus the other family members on FB congratulating her; they could be an asset.)

I didn't mean to write a rant here but Jesus Christ. These parents are complete jerks.

AWKWARD ZOMBIE

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