AWKWARD ZOMBIE

I'm pretty much constantly torn between wanting to prove I'm not useless and wanting to not fuck things up and embarrass myself.

Things that make me disappointed in myself:

My complete and total inability to do anything before a deadline. I just can't focus or find the willpower to finish this paper tonight, hopefully the prof will let me finish it up tomorrow.

I don't want to find excuses or just give up on it, so I'll do what I can tonight, but realistically I don't think its possible to finish the entire thing.

I'm honestly worried that I'm going to end up alone for my entire life, not because I don't think I'll ever meet the right girl, but because I don't know if I'll realize it when I do, and I'll be too picky about who I date that I won't really find her as attractive as I should.

My friend has been getting really annoying, always mentioning his depression whenever anyone says anuthing to him. I sort of want to stop being friends with him, but whenever I think about doing that I feel crappy because I've been his only friend for awhile and he just recently(last couple of years) got more, and then it's guilt, and then it's more, and I just keep on feeling worse about even considering it.

I saw a picture of my old friend on Facebook today. My first reaction was to scroll away as quickly as possible because I didn't want to see him, but then out of curiosity I looked, and he looked really pop flyin' at some dance with a date. I felt pretty glad that he's doing well. Still sad about him not being my friend anymore, and I don't specifically know why not, but I'm not gonna try and talk to him about it ever. I kinda wonder if I should block him. I just can't comment or like anything that he also likes or comments on. It feels weird. And I'm pretty sure he does it to me too. I just wish I could hang out with our close mutual friends again. They live in the same neighborhood with them, so he can call them up no problem (not to mention one of them is his sister). It makes me wonder if he told them what happened. I don't know, I just feel lonely.

Knock knock, who's there, it's depression

ugh you again

Oh hey, me too, man.

I'm worried I'm going to spend my whole life in my own head because the real world sickens me

with how anti social you are, you're like 85% of the way there.

My appetite has plummeted in the last few days. I think it's been around 22 hours since I last ate. I often wander into the kitchen to consider what to eat but never do anything.

Did you have to shit on Stranger's feelings, Dire? That was just mean and uncalled for.

Its fine, thats kinda what I do anyway.

I don't know if that's what I was doing, but sorry, Stranger, for hurting your feelings if I did.

Dont worry, I've been drinking a lot this past week so I dont feel much of anything anymore

Make that 86%.