AWKWARD ZOMBIE

sad none of my items came through the pokemon transporter even though my bag isn't full unless i'm missing something

most of the items were stones and i had a fossil so that sucks

I feel extremely lonely right now. I don't fit in anywhere.

You belong here.

One of us. One of us. One of us. One of us. One of us. (ad infinitum)

We should lift Marcato up in a chair like at a bar mitzvah and chant.

Two of my friends in school say I can't go to prom dressed in a ball gown or in a lolita dress, because it makes me look like a child. I just wanna point both of my middle fingers and say "That's what I want, and you can't tell me what to do!" They expect me to dress sexy and now that I have a friend escorting me, I really don't wanna look sexy. (He likes me, I don't like him, we're going as friends.) I wanna dress lolita in a dignified manner, because I'd rather dress as myself and not like the style everyone seems to be getting. Just because I look like a child doesn't mean I am a very immature person, geeze.

I'm also worried that I'm going to be known more as that chick who's going with him. Everyone that knows gave me a look of pity. He's not a bad guy, a little eccentric sometimes, but other than that his intentions are good and he has awesome taste in vidya and anime. It makes me really mad when people see it as something that's bad. He prom-poseled through Minecraft even, they need to get on his level. Although it feels weird knowing I'm talked about like this, but que sera, that's life.

And now one of my best friends broke up with his girlfriend, and on top of that other things in his life are going awry. I hope that because I, and all his other friends, didn't like her it didn't make him wanna break up with her. We can say whatever we want, but if that's what he wants I guess we shouldn't have been so hard on her. So much regret.. I acted indifferent towards her, but still. I don't think she was good for him, but who cares what I think he should be pop flyin' even if it's brief, right?

Also I'm probably not gonna get accepted to the only college I can really go to. I'm going through the reevaluation process now, but it's still very unlikely.

This week's just been very emotionally difficult.

Don't let the prom dress thing bring you down. It's probably the last time everybody meets before going separate ways and it should be drama-free. Who cares what you wear, they should be pop flyin' you're there and leave it at it. Your friends can think whatever they want but they have no right to make you feel bad about being yourself for a night.

Brock from Pokémon lives so far away and i only see him for a few hours everyday since he works so much

Thanks Obnosim. I'll try and assert myself to do what I want.

On another depressing note, my parents think I'm a slut. They called me it, I'm not allowed to hang around my guy friends (the only ones I can hang out with) and I think I'm only going to be allowed out once a month now.

AngelicSongx wrote: On another depressing note, my parents think I'm a slut. They called me it.

wow uh that is actually pretty not okay

I would go so far as to say that's SUPER not OK.

~Asian parents~
By any chance do they still have the slight language barrier where they don't realize how severe the word actually is? and they think it's just some sort of girl equivalent to "hooligan" or something? Judging by the rest of the post, I'm going to say no, but I figured there's a chance.

Everyone keeps asking me how I want to continue my education but the thing is that I don't. Nothing is appealing to me and I don't think I should be going to college just because I'm "supposed to". I don't know if I'm just being childish or not but either way I don't think I can say anything to my mother to convince her I shouldn't go to college
especially because I don't know what else I would do instead. It's starting to make me wonder what my purpose is because I'm starting to think I don't/can't provide anything to anyone.

went food shopping last night and i ate over half of it already in a binge eating session

i didn't notice how much i ate until now

RikuKyuutu wrote:~Asian parents~
By any chance do they still have the slight language barrier where they don't realize how severe the word actually is? and they think it's just some sort of girl equivalent to "hooligan" or something? Judging by the rest of the post, I'm going to say no, but I figured there's a chance.

No, they knew what they were saying, but I think my dad was partially really mad. See, I have been over to my friends house each weekend cuz of our regular DnD games. He's a guy that I've known since like 3rd grade. But I'm not allowed anywhere unless girls > boys. One of our friends and her brother couldn't come cuz of prior engagements. So, we just watched Sailor Neptune magica and half a scary movie. Two guys, me, and his younger sister.

None of my girl friends can hang out cuz they work. It kinda feels weird to suggest to also, because they almost make me feel like a privileged rich girl.. Plus they can be pretty mean other times, but overall they're okay. I think I just pushed this hanging out stuff too far, but that's mainly cuz half of us are graduating, and it feels like everyone's slipping away while I stay here, unaccepted to any colleges (that I can go to, the one that I did is too expensive).

Mom says she's gonna talk to my guy friend's parents today to apologize for my behavior. They dont like me being seen as easy and shaming them, and making them feed me. I think they like me well enough though.. Just not a good week.

AngelicSongx wrote: Mom says she's gonna talk to my guy friend's parents today to apologize for my behavior. They dont like me being seen as easy and shaming them, and making them feed me. I think they like me well enough though.. Just not a good week.

lolwut

I'm sure his family doesn't see you as shaming them or being rude. On an ~Asian Parents~ note, my mom, even now when I'm 21 years old, doesn't like it when I hang out at a friend's house even though I've done so for years and years. Really she just gets pissy when I stay out late (look out, I'm staying up til midnight, such a hooligan). She always says that I'm being "rude" to them, even though the other family always welcomes everyone into their home and enjoy having me around. She's quite stubborn on this point, considering she has continued to say this since I was in high school.

Also the blunt 'insults' thing is common to my mom as well, she has called me fat on a regular basis while acting seemingly lighthearted about it. I dunno if a language barrier really is to blame for that...

Maybe your friend's parents can talk some sense into your mom, but if not, well, not much you can do but behave like the "ideal child" they want you to be, which might convince them that you won't go out for debauchery and actually want to, y'know, see your friends. I do really think that the outside opinion of your friends' parents will help, I'm sure they think highly of you.

I spent all day MS Painting the heads of video game characters onto movie characters to make the most inside joke ever and only like 10 people will get it because that's how inside the inside joke is. So I could only show that picture to one place I go to.