AWKWARD ZOMBIE

one singular thing that i have wanted my entire life is a dog

and by "want" i mean like "pines away for until i am so depressed i don't want to move"

like bad to the point where i can't be around dogs in general or be pop flyin' for anyone who gets a dog because it like physically hurts me

since we're going to be moving probably by the end of the month i've started looking at dogs because like bodaciously the first thing i'm doing is getting one. so far it's been ok

until i find the most amazingly perfect dog in the universe and it hurts so bad u___u

she's so pretty i doubt she'll be there by the time i have a house that's put together enough to move a pet into sigh

It's starting to feel like last year around this time. If it is anywhere near last year I don't know if I can take it. I've been beaten and battered at every turn and now I have no close emotional support.
If it gets bad again I will be there for my roommate but I don't know what will happen to me and I don't know if anyone else even cares. I only had one person to talk to about everything that was going on before and she hates me now. I can't bear to put the burden of that on anyone else, either.
The stress of thinking what might happen is already messing me up horribly, every night while trying to sleep is just terrible.

I'm seriously worried about me for the first time.

I'm not indignant or angry or anything that tumblr would assume of me, but it's so disappointing when you try to get in contact with a girl and never hear back.

Then you give it another shot and get one amicable response and then nothing again.

Why do I have to overcomplicate everything?

And I wish I could stop worrying.

So Erik broke up with me indirectly
If you need me I'll be in my room
Crying my fucking eyes out

I preordered a game and won't get it until Tuesday because I was on vacation yesterday, got home after the store closed today, and my dad won't drive me tomorrow because I have counseling and my brother has to go to bed soon after and of course we can't deviate fifteen minutes from that. My preorder will be expired by then so I hope they still have copies.

God dammit I don't think I've ever cried so hard in my life

This was bodaciously out of nowhere

Malum wrote:Maybe you should read over your last five or seven posts in this and the dating stories thread.

Yeah yeah

But just a week prior to all of this we were completely fine

TerraChimaera wrote:So Erik broke up with me indirectly
If you need me I'll be in my room
Crying my fucking eyes out

How did he do it indirectly? Text? Asked somebody to tell you?

He just stopped talking to me and somebody who we're both friends with told me

I re read the last comic for Bigger Than Cheeses, and the newspost for that page had an Authors Acknowledgement to the webcomics community he was part of, it made me sad, because it was full of all these old timers that have just scattered like dust in the wind. Kinda funny since most of them ended like 8 years ago tops, but thats like 20 years in Internet Time.

There is a girl that has gone missing that I went to high school and go to university with.

She is a person that I've silently looked up too, she is an amazing artist, but very quiet and introverted.

This is just so awful and horrifying for me to find out, and I desperately hope more then anything right now that she turns up soon and okay.

This is her.

im getting bad thoughts again

No matter what I do, my right big toe just keeps on getting infected again and ingrown again. I had fucking surgery on it, this isn't supposed to happen. Might have to have that thing where they keep one side of your toe from growing. I don't want to deal with this anymore.

I don't wanna come home from school today.