AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Been there, at least in a sense. I learned pretty quickly not to get too hung up on your past mistakes.

It's okay to fail, as long as you can pick yourself back up again the next year. It set me behind about a semester, and I'm still fiddling with my degree plan with my senior year coming up, but hey, at least I got those grades eventually.

As glad as I am that Jon is going back to his show, I miss him

I feel as though I'll die before I'll figure out what will make me the most pop flyin'.

found a forum i was a member of since i was like...10 or so. i learned how to not be an annoying little shit on the forum...and had some great friends. it drifted away about 4 years ago or so and i thought the domain was down. as i was fixing up my sites to move over to my new domain, i accidentally clicked the forum link on my site for this forum (it was a cyberpet place so i had my pets on this site i made,) and realized that people still visited occasionally and there was a thread about what we'd been doing since and the last post was in september and idk i just felt super shitty and sad because i missed it so much and i missed the thread and just bleh

shazza wrote:found a forum i was a member of since i was like...10 or so. i learned how to not be an annoying little shit on the forum...and had some great friends. it drifted away about 4 years ago or so and i thought the domain was down. as i was fixing up my sites to move over to my new domain, i accidentally clicked the forum link on my site for this forum (it was a cyberpet place so i had my pets on this site i made,) and realized that people still visited occasionally and there was a thread about what we'd been doing since and the last post was in september and idk i just felt super shitty and sad because i missed it so much and i missed the thread and just bleh

I know the feeling. So far Ive had to leave two great forums behind as Ive gone through life. The first one is back now, but it just isnt the same anymore, and the other one is dying on life support. Once you outgrow a place, its always painful leaving it behind, especially since you have no idea where you'll end up next. Its actually really hard finding forums where you feel like you belong

I don't think I've ever felt that way. All the forums/sites I've been on were because someone I knew introduced me there.
A friend from Uni got me onto DA back in 2003, people I then befriended on DA introduced me elsewhere, and my partner got me onto AZ.

Sometimes I forget about the sites I used to frequent, There was this other forum for comics, but it wasn't very active and all the members were holier than thou sycophants. Their comics were mostly rubbish anyway.

I have to pretty much empty my savings to fix my car. Mind you this vehicle has about a quarter of a million miles on it, so things break constantly. All I seem to hear from most folks is 'well with all the cheddar you have spent on that car you could have bought another one'.

Yeah but how the crap am I supposed to get to work to earn more cheddar for this car you speak of? There is no winning I love that stupid van but my God this is why I never get past a certain amount in my savings I just want to cry.

FMAWolf wrote:I have to pretty much empty my savings to fix my car. Mind you this vehicle has about a quarter of a million miles on it, so things break constantly. All I seem to hear from most folks is 'well with all the cheddar you have spent on that car you could have bought another one'.

Yeah but how the crap am I supposed to get to work to earn more cheddar for this car you speak of? There is no winning I love that stupid van but my God this is why I never get past a certain amount in my savings I just want to cry.

You might have to bite the bullet and take out a loan for a new car

Oh hey, I want to start drawing again!

Oh hey, I'm just as bad at it as I remember.... :C

TheStranger wrote:You might have to bite the bullet and take out a loan for a new car

I might have to because I only had the cheddar to fix one of the two big problems it had. I didn't have the rest for the rear brake seal (I think) to be fixed so it's putting more stress on the front wheels which will probably melt the daisies parts to my car again if I'm not careful. Apparently I had been driving around with the rear seal leaking for quite some time and was just unaware of it.

Guess I'll be driving it a while more while freaking out about it instead.

I just hate to move out of an appartment, it's always a long, painful and sad activity.
Especially considering that I move to my parent's for the holidays, and I know they're going to spend all summer reminding me that I failed my year.

just get a part time job in the mean-time, that usually shuts them up

Oh that's why I'm trying to do, but I'm not sure I'm going to be hired.
Trust me, it's hard to find a job where I live.

I feel really terrible about myself. I don't think I can stand to be hanging out with the same group of friends next year, and that is a really scary hard thing for me to do. One of my closest friends won't even talk to me anymore, and I feel as though half of them are going with his side and hate me. Three others are a trio of BFF's and hanging out whenever they want and don't invite anyone, so I don't feel like I'm really a good friend of theirs. And final two, well, one's obsessed with the other and is a whirlwind of teen angst so I just don't want to deal with that.

I'm gonna try really hard to isolate myself from them next year (hopefully). I'm really starting to dislike myself because I think I lead my closest friend on. But then I think, I was just really nice to him and joked around. Why should they expect me to break up with Tuxedo Mask? Being funny, cute, and in person can only get someone so far. I even thought that he didn't like me because he said he didn't to my face, I'm really gullible but just by saying that alone I ruled out every single "look" they say he's given me.

Every time I think about him it hurts, just knowing we won't be as good friends again. Also when I think of other things throughout the year. All those times everyone's teased me, how could I not see that I'm just the butt of everybody's jokes? I wonder when I thought that it was important to see them laughing and getting along with each other at my expense. Were they really calling me a "skank booty hoe" when they were saying that crude phrase? It feels like they all hate me as much as one of my friends who sometimes cannot control talking too much. Maybe that's when they started disliking me, because I defended them when I started to see that they were out right bullying him.

It just hits really hard to think that I probably caused all this. I'm so scared to go school next year, but I'm also scared of being alone.