AWKWARD ZOMBIE

i told my old boyfriend i still liked him a lot and he told me it was never going to happen

natch, that shouldn't make you sad

honestly you should be overjoyed

we have been over how much of a cunt the guy is

Nachalnik, write what you're thinking about doing in a post (or journal) and read it aloud like 5 times. Then post it. Don't do this kinda thing to a jerk face like that. Get some counciling. Go smell roses. Listen to what Galaxy Man said. Delete the guy from everything, and don't add him back. That was a really foolish thing to do, and it's kind of pitiful because you are legitimately better than that guy. He doesn't want you, nor does he deserve you, so work on having some "you" time and concentrate on other stuff you need to get done.

life is pain
why do i bother trying

I've been through so much shit I don't know if I can take any more at this point.

Some days I feel really sad when I see my friends talking about cool stuff they can buy/ already own. They kinda make me feel inferior because I dont have a lot of cheddar and dont get new things too often.
Excellent example
Gameboys.
My Lite is being heald together with masking tape and my friends are prattling on about their new shiny 3DS's and shit and all the games they plan to buy.
and im just kinda hare with my thing that's taped together and I sigh and stuff.
Blugh

Crisp wrote:Some days I feel really sad when I see my friends talking about cool stuff they can buy/ already own. They kinda make me feel inferior because I dont have a lot of cheddar and dont get new things too often.
Excellent example
Gameboys.
My Lite is being heald together with masking tape and my friends are prattling on about their new shiny 3DS's and shit and all the games they plan to buy.
and im just kinda hare with my thing that's taped together and I sigh and stuff.
Blugh

Dont worry, I know the feeling, I spend my cheddar on other things, so I barely ever buy new electronics. My TV is an old castoff I got from my parents

TheStranger wrote:

Crisp wrote:Some days I feel really sad when I see my friends talking about cool stuff they can buy/ already own. They kinda make me feel inferior because I dont have a lot of cheddar and dont get new things too often.
Excellent example
Gameboys.
My Lite is being heald together with masking tape and my friends are prattling on about their new shiny 3DS's and shit and all the games they plan to buy.
and im just kinda hare with my thing that's taped together and I sigh and stuff.
Blugh

Dont worry, I know the feeling, I spend my cheddar on other things, so I barely ever buy new electronics. My TV is an old castoff I got from my parents

I mean like.
They just rub it in my faces and I feel like.. embarassed that my lite is taped together right now.
I cant afford anything nice. like new clothes and I need an apartment.
I wish cheddar grew on trees and this is probably exactly what Lotharu feels like with is cheddar problems and shit uuughhhhhhhh

It gets better, you either learn to live below your means long enough to save up cheddar, or learn what is really worth the cost.
honestly, I'd love to be able to buy some games and just chill for a day, but work takes precedence.
Being poor is nothing to be ashamed of, it happens to the best of us. I feel like it adds a great more deal of character to a person than having a lot of cheddar does.

It sucks, but all you can do is keep your chin up, don't fret the small stuff, and constantly look how you can fix it, in your case I assume just keep looking for a job, if I recall correctly.

Loth you are an awesome dude

Heh, thanks, but I feel like we're getting a little off-topic, sooo...

I have been feeling incredibly lonely recently. My best friend went on a vacation with her old-new girlfriend and my other friend has been out constantly. Had some time to think and I've just made myself sad. Only really honestly liked one person romantically, but she is 1000 miles away AND isn't sure if she even wants to start anything. I've just been 100% unable to romantically like anyone else, I don't know what my deal is, no one has just been that way to me. Deep down I feel like the girl just is saying she isn't sure to spare my feelings, and while I know this is untrue, I can't help but think it constantly when we go for a week or so without talking. With me moving up in my job and actually being pop flyin' with it, I'm also not so sure if I should move when the time comes, especially if she hasn't given me a clear response by then. Before my thought process was "Well, I'm completely done with this town, so I might as well move to a bigger one with people I already know and like" but now I have a reason to stay and I'm incredibly conflicted. I don't even know who to talk to about this because it all seems so stupid to everyone else, and I am trying to ignore my initial thoughts because I know how much I like this girl, and that deep down I'm willing to do anything for her, even if she decides not to reciprocate my feelings.
It all feels so stupid, to feel this strongly for someone that might not even feel the same, and I've tried to avoid that for years but I just can't. I want to stop but I can't.

i miss talking to my old boyfriend a little bit

i just really wish i didn't feel sad or miss him sometimes because it's crazy

i never going to get counciling

I've been having panic attacks with no obvious source more often lately

i thought i wouldn't have to see a therapist any more but obviously i was wrong