Confessions

[The Nightman]

It'll probably be like that for a long time. Someone jabbed me with a pencil in the 6th grade (7 years ago) and I still have the black spot from it. I thought it was a bit of graphite so a couple years back I tried digging it out with a knife, but it was just a colored spot I suppose and all I accomplished was giving myself a scar. It's a lot less visible now though, so I think it's starting to go away.

[shazza]

likely it's the graphite particles that rubbed off on your skin inside. it'll probably be dark for a long time but not really a big deal.

[Misterme7]

Having some problems right now, but they're relatively time-related, and if everything goes right then within the year I shouldn't have them anymore. I'm split between maybe trying to solve them or at least feel better about them, which is the harder option with more potential to feel worse/fuck something up, or just hunker down for a few months and live through it on my own.

Also I sort of expect to succeed in everything I do. Which is disproven relatively frequently, but next time I still expect it to work out in some way.

[Airra]

I expect success even when a failure is obvious, myself. Optimism!

[Blitz Walrus]

Foot

Yeah, I figured as much. for a while I thought some of the tip snapped off inside, but it doesn't hurt or anything, so???

[Rinoko]

I feel like an incredibly boring person. I don't really have that many interesting stories or hobbies or anything and I feel like I rarely have anything relevant or worthwhile on my mind.

[Airra]

I often feel that way as well, but everyone always tries to reassure me otherwise.

I guess the way we view ourselves is so comparatively mundane in our own minds that we neglect to think of it as anything but.


I am jealous of your collection of videogame-inspired merchandise, as an example, but maybe you wouldn't give it too much of a thought as you probably look at those items every day. (Hylian Shiiield)

[SaintCrazy]

Obviously you're here on AZ so you can count vidjagames as a hobby, Marcy. And you're still into music, right? I dunno if you've played anything recently but even just knowing how to read and play music is something that sticks with you, even if you just over-analyze songs on the radio (which I still do all the time)

Also, it's never too late to pick up something new. I know I have a lot of random things I'd like to try that are on my "I'll do them someday when I sort of have a stable life" list. Like, learn to play that ukulele a friend got me for my birthday...

[Rinoko]

I am jealous of your collection of videogame-inspired merchandise, as an example, but maybe you wouldn't give it too much of a thought as you probably look at those items every day. (Hylian Shiiield)

To clarify, that shield is my roommate's, haha. I do have a few things though.

Also I wanted to start taking up dance, but I'd also feel pretty uncomfortable doing that right now before my transition.

[Airra]

Dispose of the roommate and no one will have to know.

[Alkarii]

I feel like crying right now. I feel like every time I try to stand, everything has to keep me from standing.

If I disappeared today, who would even care?

[SaintCrazy]

I think the school I'm student teaching at is thinking about giving me a job offer (folks in the administration keep talking to me about how great the district is and giving me feedback on how I'm doing, I feel like I'm being groomed). However I'm not sure if I would want to teach there or not, I'd really like to teach more "gifted and talented" kids; currently the teacher I'm with has a number of advanced kids but that's because he's a master teacher, and I'm guessing I wouldn't be that lucky my first year. This school is great, but it also has a lot of at-risk kids and being a disciplinarian is... just not my favorite thing. And the class sizes here can get pretty big and harder to manage. I really think I may be better off teaching at one of the private schools around, if only because the classes would be smaller.

HOWEVER this school district has a lot of support between teachers and staff, plus they're very structured and provide a super detailed curriculum that you can modify on your own or with other teachers on your grade level. Also my mentor teacher said that private schools pay their teachers less but i dont really care too much about that (unless it's totally unreasonable). Plus I've met a lot of folks at this school that have been really helpful while I learn how the whole teaching thing works.

I also don't know how honest and open I should be about this to the people I'm working with, just because I don't want to hurt my chances of getting a job there if I do end up deciding to work there. And I don't want to come across as "Oh I guess I'll settle for this job even though it's not what I wanted" even though that is sorta-kinda what I'm feeling at the moment. Really it depends on what jobs are actually out there. And I need to find time to actually update my resume. Shit, I have too much shit to worry about.

[Misterme7]

Tempted to try soylent. Looks alright.

[scebboaliwiw]

I feel like not nearly enough emphasis is placed on the idea that avoiding punishment for being a shitty person is something that itself makes you exponentially more of a shitty person.
Stealing something is worth a slap, blocking that slap is worth 20

[Alkarii]

You know the swings at the playground? For the last sixteen years or so, I haven't been able to ride them, because I get motion sickness from them.

Also, right now I feel really weird, and not in a good way. A little nausea, some insomnia, a pinch of drowsiness, and my arms feel a little lighter than normal.

Also, for some reason, I want someone to snuggle with, me, but at the same time, I feel like I want to punch the face of anyone who would make any kind of semisexual advances towards me.

25?! 25, 7-15-4, 25?! (I have no explanation for why I just did that.)

EDIT: I would like to add that I like to eat cheese before going to sleep so I can have weird dreams. Also, I want to get two of those self inflating whoopee cushions and attach them to my feet in such a way that they'll function properly as I walk.