1001 Reasons To See Your Doctor [NSFW] (Strictly Moderated)

[Madican]

Take hardboiled egg, sliced turkey, avocado, mustard, and pita bread and combine with Crystal Lite orange drink in a stomach. Let percolate for several minutes, bend over, and unleash the fury of Thor.

[Gryewolf]

Oh man is that the secret to toxic farts.

[Fauche]

You might even say... it makes butts..... tear up...

[Galaxy Man]

penis stop having an erection

stop it

stop it right now

this is not constructive i am walking home in the cold rain

you're not impressing anyone it's too cold for that

just stop come on it's rather annoying

[Madican]

You have not properly trained your penis. It still has hope that it will be used.

[Gryewolf]

Do a few cock push ups.
That'll keep it iin line.

[Potato]

I can hear my grandpa fart. And his room is across the hallway.

[Cori]

Potato, I know that feel.

I can hear my dad's humongo farts from the kitchen when I'm upstairs in my room.

[YCobb]

That was a really rough shit I just took

How rough, you ask?

The toilet is red
I reached down with toilet paper and it immediately soaked through and my hand came up covered in blood

Help what do I do?

[Madican]

Do not wait, call emergency services immediately as the likelihood of internal tearing or rupturing is extremely high.

[YCobb]

No I uh
Took a shower

And went to bed

This is how being responsible works right???

((I think it's fine; I identified the area of the wound as being a bit away from the sphincter and it seems to have stopped bleeding))

[Madican]

Do you not have health insurance to get a medical professional to take a look? Infection is a huge problem, and you can't exactly reach up there to clean.

[Superior Bacon]

okay no butts should never ever bleed

your rectum is filled with bacteria this is why you do not eat shit it will make you super sick

also your bowel has ecoli in it that is why colon tears are so bad go see a doctor dude you can get really, really sick

[Bucket]

Yeah, take everyone's advice and see a doctor or something man. I've had ulcertive colitis since I was 4, so I know a thing or two about anal bleeding. Believe me, you want to take care of this before it becomes something serious.

[[Insert Fail]]

Huh. Guess I should've gotten the bleeding looked at two years ago when I had health insurance.