1001 Reasons To See Your Doctor [NSFW] (Strictly Moderated)

[Mete]

I'm getting flashbacks from /v/'s Liara threads that always turned into threads about Balloon Tali and bug girls

[ZenithOfChaos]

Shoolis, leeches don't cause pain when they bite. They release anaesthetics, so the animal doesn't realize they're on them. YOU FAIL BIOLOGY FOREVER!

[Shoolis]

YOU FAIL AT MAKING ME GIVE A SHIT

[ZenithOfChaos]

I am going to devise an evil plan to trick you into a labyrinth like mansion with tons of mechanical booby traps designed to just barely kill you. The last trap will force you through a body of murky water to get to freedom. The water will be filled with leeches, but you won't expect that because you don't give a shit about leech biology and can't notice them chowing down. Then, as you gasp for air, bleeding to death at the edge of the pool, I will stand over your pre-mortum self and laugh. THEN YOU'LL SEE. YOU'LL ALL SEE!

Also, what's the deal with gorn?

[Flicky]

Well you see you make a mini cannon out of bamboo and diamonds

Then you change your middle name to Tyberius.

And that is how gorn

[Superior Bacon]

what the fuck

[Flicky]

Okay uh

Is it bad if when I get a boner

My dick goes straight until right before the foreskin where it sharply goes up about 45 degrees

That doesnt seem like it should happen

[Potato]

Nah, that's perfectly normal.
If not, I need to get my penis checked.

[ZenithOfChaos]

Sounds like a textbook case of penisitis!

[Galaxy Man]

mine seems to curve left and down slightly

it's very odd

[Madican]

Obviously someone's been sneaking into your houses at night for years with shaped molds. They put your dick in, get it hard, and over the years it begins to naturally assume the shape.

Just like with watermelons!

[Cori]

THIS IS SO PAINFUL.

There is a zit. IN MY VAGINA.

Auuuuughhhh why do these things always happen to me.

[Superior Bacon]

tooth paste is pretty good for drying out zits

toothpaste would probably hurt in your vagina though
though how the fuck does that even happen

[Cori]

I don't even know. I guess it's because there's hair follicles there, and if they got infected or something...

Still. Eurgh. It hurt.

[Kira]

well bacano, once your mother spreads a rumor to all the boys from the yard about your milkshake having teeth you must play the part.
once in the morning and once before bed, and use you brothers toothbrush, he likes fish anyway right?