AWKWARD ZOMBIE

So I had this dream that was rather emotionally touching. I thought of writing it down and turning it into a book.
I'd like to know what you guys think and if you have any recommendations of editorial business to the plot-line.

Remember, folks, I just woke up and wrote this under 10 or so minutes.

PLOTLINE

Pirates attack city situated in the sea, get rid of fresh-water supply

main character is talking with his best friend, when suddenly the pirates make a massive
assault on the city

main character runs to his mum & dad while best friend runs to her dad

main character is yanked onto one of the escape boats by his step-mother, while he
witnessess his best friend having a gun put to her head. His dog is also left behind.

At their new home in the capital city, just a few miles south from the city in the sea,
the mother reveals that it was she who arranged the death of his best-friend, noting that
she 'never really liked her anyway'. As they are living in a completley new place and it is
hard for the son to adjust to living, not to mention the loss of his best-friend and his
dog, he runs away from his rich family. Although his dad still loves him his gold-digger
wife doesn't, she tells him not to worry, as all kids do this and come back the same day
or later that week, allowing him to get lost and far away from any chance at being found
again.


The son comes across a train-yard and encounters his dog, who, according to the local
'resident' "Stow'd away in the ship I was usin'". After being re-united with his dog, the
son and his dog leave the train-yard, only to be stopped by a girl about his age, who has
lost her senses, and wears a fake eye-patch.

idk wut happenz next lulz?

He wakes up.

tl;dr

Did you just copy Fable

Isn't Fable that game where you burp infront of people and buy houses?

Nah, I never played that game, or read the plot, for that matter.

Fooflyer wrote:I never played that game, or read the plot, for that matter.

You should, it's hilarious in how poor it is. :awesome:

Miss StarSeed wrote:

Fooflyer wrote:I never played that game, or read the plot, for that matter.

You should, it's hilarious in how poor it is. :awesome:

i liked Fable...

D':

and then John was a zombie

I think that it has potential to be pretty good, but it could use some development away from just being a dream. Try spending some thinking time on it, and eventually you'll get something even better and much more likable. But honestly, I didn't think it was like fable until I saw a post about it... so yeah... but that's just me...

This is basically as raw is it is, folks

Tuxedo Mask had a dream where a lonely toy-maker made a robotic monkey to be his best friend.

The toy-maker eventually found a wife though, and left the monkey behind.

The monkey was sad, but he liked to see his friend pop flyin'.

One day the toy-maker's wife left him though, and the monkey chased after her because he saw how sad it made his friend.

The toy-maker thought the monkey was running away with his wife, and stabbed the monkey in it's toy-heart.

The wife told him how the monkey just wanted him to be pop flyin'.

The monkey died.

;A;

There's something to make you depressed, folks!

That's pretty cool, actually. It's raw and unpolished, but pretty good. I like how he found his dog again, that was nice.