AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Practice meager tennis skills.

Arrange with the mayor that at least one of the judges, or the umpire is female and fantastic looking.

Then sleep with her.

Nightduck wrote:Go to the mayors house and steal his lint giraffe collection while he is distracted with tourney preperations.

>You're not even sure where that came from. I mean, a lint girafee? You've already stolen something today. Stealing something like that might actually make you feel really unmoxious. Or undignified. Could you imagine explaining that if you were caught? Didn't think so.

Fooflyer wrote:Arrange with the mayor that at least one of the judges, or the umpire is female and fantastic looking.
Then sleep with her.

>Well, seeing as how the judge is the same guy its been for 5 years that'd be kinda weird.

Odds wrote:Practice meager tennis skills.

>You step out into the court to practice. You're not sure how this works, but apparently you just hit the ball back, according to the practice cage clerk. He offered you a cup, but you were thirsty. It was a nice offer.

>Fwhomp. Whiiizz. Bam. Okay. Okay. Yeah, okay, now you think you realize what a cup was. You double over for a minute. You are so screwed. You get up in time to see Marte has arrived, donned in full "tennis gear". What a weenie. Wait, there's a crowd coming? No one said anything about a crowd watching.

>Uh oh.

Begin attacking Marte's self-confidence.

Go Super Saiyan Level 4.

Make an excuse to play on the side that would have your back to the sun. Hoping that it blinds him.

Take off your hat and bow to the audience uncomfortably.

Odds wrote:Begin attacking Marte's self-confidence.

>You yell out to Marte, calling him names and insulting his taste in short shorts. He seems to become angry and his nerves turn to steel. Oh, crap.

SBKT wrote:Go Super Saiyan Level 4.

>You wish you could if you even knew what that meant.

Nightduck wrote:Make an excuse to play on the side that would have your back to the sun. Hoping that it blinds him.

>You quickly hop the other side of the field. Ha, now you have "solar advantage". You read that somwhere.

Dzone wrote:Take off your hat and bow to the audience uncomfortably.

>As Marte gets ready, you bow to the audience, taking off your hat. Its all sweaty and wet. Ew, you think, and toss it to the sideline. The judge calls that is Marte's serve. Wait, we get food? Thwack goes his racket. Ohgod ohgod ohgod.

Swing racket.

Inventory.

Call time out asking the judge if the ball has regulation length fuzz on it. Thus giving you time to think.

Odds wrote:Swing racket.

>You swing and...hit it? Hey! That was easy. Man, if you keep this up...

Merlin wrote:Inventory.

>Oh god. Your bag flies at you an opens you. You toss it to the side just in time to hit the ball back.

Nightduck wrote:Call time out asking the judge if the ball has regulation length fuzz on it. Thus giving you time to think.

>You try to call out to the judge, but it seems hes too busy suntanning. How self-conscious. Although, while you were distracted, the ball landed behind you and Marte scored. Damnit.

Sharpen your focus and keep swinging.

Threaten to burn his lint collection if he doesn't forefeit.

Hell, sharpen your racket while you're at it.