AWKWARD ZOMBIE

I almost won a pet anole in 4th grade.

Someone else got it. It mysteriously died a week later. *COUGH*BADPETKEEPER*COUGH*

;-;

You killed it, didn't you.

Or did jealousy do it?

I always write such good burns to call people out on facebook but then I always delete them because who cares.

haha nigga sit down let me tell you about how I won 3rd place at a pet show with my amazing ducks

I bet you scrubs are all "but princess brothel, I didn't know you had ducks"

I don't have ducks.

But one time I walked up to some ducks and poked at their cage and this old guy thought they were mine so he gave me a ribbon for 3rd place

the greatest achievement of your life

The highest of us could ever hope to rise

princess brothel don't hold out we know you got hells ducks over there

omg do not even remind me of my past pets

i had one die of letteuce poisoning and the other 2 were racist to each other and so we gave them to a farmer

lettuce poisoning?

Lettuce becomes poisonous when poisoned.
You learn every day.

D-vid wrote:lettuce poisoning?

ok i was like 8 and i went out for a few hours with my mum so i left the gerbil a lot of letteuce so it could nibble at it for a few hours

little did i know that greedy pig had eyes bigger than it's stomach, and it kinda... ate itself to death

I am now picturing your gerbil as an ouroborus

Why do people get hamsters or gerbils? All they do is shit and eat in their little cage until they die at age 3 due to random stress or whatever

Since we're on the subject,

Did I ever tell you guys about the time my friend threw his hamster out of his 2-story apartment?

now you have

No, you can keep it that way too.
Dear lord.