All topics unimportant enough to not create a thread for

[Flicky]

I almost won a pet anole in 4th grade.

Someone else got it. It mysteriously died a week later. *COUGH*BADPETKEEPER*COUGH*

;-;

[Trygve]

You killed it, didn't you.

Or did jealousy do it?

[Avengifier]

I always write such good burns to call people out on facebook but then I always delete them because who cares.

[hotb]

haha nigga sit down let me tell you about how I won 3rd place at a pet show with my amazing ducks

I bet you scrubs are all "but princess brothel, I didn't know you had ducks"

I don't have ducks.

But one time I walked up to some ducks and poked at their cage and this old guy thought they were mine so he gave me a ribbon for 3rd place

[Superior Bacon]

the greatest achievement of your life

[Vax]

The highest of us could ever hope to rise

princess brothel don't hold out we know you got hells ducks over there

[Tales]

omg do not even remind me of my past pets

i had one die of letteuce poisoning and the other 2 were racist to each other and so we gave them to a farmer

[D-vid]

lettuce poisoning?

[FatOldRobot]

Lettuce becomes poisonous when poisoned.
You learn every day.

[Tales]

lettuce poisoning?

ok i was like 8 and i went out for a few hours with my mum so i left the gerbil a lot of letteuce so it could nibble at it for a few hours

little did i know that greedy pig had eyes bigger than it's stomach, and it kinda... ate itself to death

[Dedivax]

I am now picturing your gerbil as an ouroborus

[Mete]

Why do people get hamsters or gerbils? All they do is shit and eat in their little cage until they die at age 3 due to random stress or whatever

[BeatBoxingBoo]

Since we're on the subject,

Did I ever tell you guys about the time my friend threw his hamster out of his 2-story apartment?

[Superior Bacon]

now you have

[Gryewolf]

No, you can keep it that way too.
Dear lord.