AWKWARD ZOMBIE

What do you call a pony's cough?
A little hoarse!

A dyslexic walks into a bra


im sorry

"I hate being bipolar, it's awesome."

What do you call a ship shaking at the bottom of the sea?

A nervous wreck!

Two banelings walk into an empty bar and ask the bartender "where is everybody?" The bartender replies "The marines had to split".

What is a cat's favorite book?

a Catalog

Why was the ocean arrested?

Because it beat upon the shore

aaaaa

Crisp wrote:A dyslexic walks into a bra


im sorry

Why did the devil worshiper sell his soul to Santa?
do i have to spell it out for you

What did the dyslexic bank robber yell?
put your hands up, mother-stickers, this is a fuck up

What's the best part about 21 year olds?
there's 20 of them

Why did Angus Glover break up with his girlfriend?
he couldn't take the G's

Cynical Slob wrote:What's the best part about 21 year olds?
there's 20 of them

I've heard it "What's the best part about fucking 21 yeard olds?"


A Tall man walks into a bar.
And says "Ow"

My friend's dad likes this one:

What is it called when a ship full of cats sinks?
A cat-astrophe!

He then proceeds to laugh loudly at his own joke. Occasionally he slaps his knees, too.

Did you hear about the philosophic dyslexic with insomnia?

He stayed up all night and wondered if there is a Dog.

Dyslexics are really taking a beating in this thread...

So a priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar.

Bartender goes, " What is this? A joke?"

A man and his wife have a baby, but the boy is born with only a head. Miraculously, the boy is still alive and is otherwise perfectly healthy, so the couple decides to raise him like a normal boy. On the boy's 21st birthday, his father takes him to a bar. After his first drink, the boy grows a neck! The father excitedly orders more and more drinks for his son, and soon enough, the boy grows a torso, arms, and legs! After that, the boy is so drunk that he stumbles out into the street and is hit by a truck. An uncomfortable silence falls across the bar, but then the bartender says, "You know, he really should have quit while he was ahead."

Thank you and good night.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have any guts!

What a witch's favorite thing to do in school?
Spelling!

Also, Marc, that was awesome.