AWKWARD ZOMBIE

i wish i had a stupid key

To clarify it is the ' key on my laptop's keyboard

Also someone from Aardman's coming to the university on friday to give a talk and stuff but I can't go 'cause that's when I'm going home for the weekend ;___; ffffffffffffff

I'm afraid this post might be a long one. I feel uncomfortable making big, personal vent posts like this, but I just want to get all this stuff off my chest.

This year of university seemed to be starting off great. I thought I got everything off on the right track. However that seems to be the complete opposite. I was really pop flyin' when I started to make a few new friends, since, to be quite honest, I don't have very many here. However, when any of them found out I was in a relationship (usually through goddamn Facebook or something stupid like that) they started to avoid me like the plague. The ones who actually did still talk to me either asked me to do their homework for them or attempted to make every fucking conversation like a game of chess. I just want a goddamn friend that I can actually hang out with and be around. All the ones I have right now are either busy or we just don't have enough in common.

I'm tired of being lonely. I can't focus in class because I feel like everyone hates me. I don't know why, I shouldn't feel paranoid but I do anyways. I'm tired of being scared of people, but every time I finally gain some ground, they end up shoving me off a cliff.

I'm not going to stop trying, but it hurts. I feel like all I'm here for now is Dimm, but when we fight or something it kills me because then I truly feel alone. I want to become a virologist someday, I really do, but now I feel paranoid that I can never accomplish that. There are so many people who are much more adept to this field, who can actually think the way a scientist should. That scares me. I don't know if I could actually accomplish anything.

...That was a hell of a mess.

Torizo, I just want you to know that we're all here to support you. I know it's not the same as having physical IRL friends but we'll never turn out back on you. So that proves that not everyone hates you.

And you should pursue whatever career you want. If you want to be a virologist, go for it. You'll never accomplish anything if you hide away out of fear that you might fail. The world is full of endless possibilities and opportunities for you.

Thanks, Coriserai. It means a lot, and I always feel better around all my AZ pals.

I just talked to my cousin who goes here as well. He said he wants to hang out and watch my favorite B-movie (Snakehead Terror) and play some Pokemon on Friday night, so that makes me feel a lot better.

Torizo you are an amazing person.
My only advice is to be yourself and fuck what other people think.
You have no idea how great life becomes after that.

Yay for awesome cousins!

Also, what the other two said.
It sounds insincere like that, but it's kind of pointless to take up space repeating the exact same thing that they said.

Besides, I can guarantee that the post would be ignored had Coriserai gone on about something else.

and to end on a somewhat less bitter note: "I'm 17 years old,it's 2010 but I love this song...I was born at a wrong decade!!!" god I hate you youtube

It is times like these that I wish I was more active so I could say stuff like that and not be a creeper

You're not being a creeper, silly goose. Only Yeili can do that, but we all love her anyways so it's all good.

Imagine you're at your job. A customer comes in maybe once a week, twice rarely. He overhears you talking about something somewhat personal. Then he walks up to you, and says, "It's okay, if you ever need someone to talk to... I am here"
Creepy, no?

So apparently I can motivate other people to do their work in record fucking time, but when I try to do the same assignment I can't even muster up the willpower to lift my pen off the page. Goddamit, if I don't get it done during lunch I'll have to leave school early to avoid a zero and a grade drop.

Oh shit I feel like shit again.

Komodoensis wrote:Oh shit I feel like shit again.

No dude, you're awesome.

So I got a random nosebleed while at work this evening. This is the second time I've gotten a nosebleed, I got one yesterday too. Today's was worse though, it's like the blood wouldn't stop flowing until i put ice on my neck and did a whole bunch of other things to stop the flow. I'm wondering if this is some kind of issue because I don't like, scratch the inside of my nose really like at all.